Need help with young marraige

[Valuexp]

I need help

I have been married a little over a year and would like "help" from those who have more expierence in marraige.

Let me explain the situation: My wife is "conservative"
in nature when it comes to our sex/lovemaking. I had hoped that she would "loosen up" and maybe become more adventurous in our lovemaking and be more willing to try different things. I know she is a "good girl" in general, but i had hoped she would "develop" a naughty girl side in private.

Here is my question: How do i suggest it to her and or "help" her along in becoming that way.

Ladies: You generally have a good point of view on this also, please help.

 

[Ezzie]

I was married young too and my now ex husband was also very conservative. I started to try and help him out a little with small things. Like I got some wild colored condoms to spice things up. Slowly moved to sex toys and porno magazines and then to full out porno films. It took him some time to adjust but it was worth the wait. By the time the divorce came, he was a very good and playful lover.

 

[Valuexp]

response

Ezzie,

I am not "young' in age, i am 32 and my wife is 34. I meant that we have been married a short time. What i am more refering to is getting her to try different things, but more so to have a "naughty girl' or "bad girl' additude within our marraige. I guess i am like alot of men, I like
a more conservative person in public and more the opposite person in private. I should mention that my wife is a full figured woman (sometthing i like alot), but this means she lacks confidence sometimes to feel good about herself despite my praises and oos and ahhs.

Any thoughts

 

[fun4me/him]

I used to be just like your wife....probably for some of the same reasons. I am 35 and have just discovered the naughty side of my libido. I am not exactly sure what made me come to the realization that it was ok for me to be this way but I can tell you that it did not happen over night. It took time to dispell the old beliefs that naughty was bad and that the man I was with would not think less of me if I was able to express myself sexually.

Keep the communication with your wife going and give her time to adjust to new ideas. I have become very liberated sexually and am still trying new things. It has been worth the wait!!!!!

 

[Ezzie]

Well, my advice still works

No matter what your physical age is, my advice may still work. Just try starting off small like we did. Don't try to move too fast, just try introducing some new things into the bedroom. And remember, she might be a little shocked at first but it may just turn her on even more. At the very least it's worth a shot

 

[Valuexp]

response

fun4me/him and ezzie

Thanks for your responses. We do expierement with some "toys" and lingerie. In that way, we are good, but what i guess i am more looking for is what fun4me/him was refering to, that "bad girl" or "naughty side".

fun4me/him, you said that you did not know what brought it out in you? Was there a change in your life that maybe brought it out? I would like to see her be more sexually liberated but do not want to shock her or make her think i am preverse. I do not consider two people doing what feels good preverse, but some people do.

 

[fun4me/him]

I am not exactly old, but I am not young and I still believe that a lot of women are raised with the double standard that it is ok for men to do things and dads pat them on the back and think "that's my boy" but their daughters do the same thing and they want to lock them in the closet til they are 42. Sometimes it is hard to get past that. I did have a major life change. I got a divorce. Even after that I hid most of my sexual relationships because I did not want to appear "slutty" and I certainly did not want to jump into another meaningful relationship right away.

Then I got the internet......the rest as they say is history. I started reading all of this stuff about real people who were interested in some of the same stuff I found that I was. I started chatting with people and realized that most of what I desired was at the least normal. That is why I say.....talk talk talk talk. Maybe get her to read some things or have her talk to someone other than you......the results will be well worth it!