Need help with swinging terms and practices.

[Tomh1966]

I'm not in the lifestyle but bringing in a swapping couple into one of my stories.

I googled "Couples that only swap with other couples." and got lots of his of soft vs full swap and lots of his about sex parties and hotel takeovers. In my story, they meet another couple and are interested in a swap. 1 on 1. that is husband 1 has sex with wife 2 and Husband 2 has sex with Wife 1 in a different room. They fully fuck so it is not soft swap. Everyone has an orgasm and there is no cucking involved. The end. They part ways after the night.

Is there a specific word or name for this practice? I've heard of it happening but is it rare?

What is it called when a couple only swaps 1 on 1 with another couple. that is either they both get laid, or neither do. IE they don't go the sex parties or clubs where the wife likely will get more offers than the man will.

Are the people that only swap with another couple rare? Most things I could find were about the full swap people going to parties.

 

[MrPixel]

I've always understood that scenario as "full swap, separate rooms" when solicited in personal ads.

 

[lilshymynx]

Full swap, separate rooms is what I've seen most commonly as well.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Need help with swinging terms and practices.​

 

[MrPixel]

Gawd Em. You can be such a nerd. But that's really funny!

 

[EmilyMiller]

Gawd Em. You can be such a nerd. But that's really funny!

I never claimed not to be a nerd. It goes with the territory if you have a post graduate degree in a scientific subject .

Nerds are people too .

Em

 

[SimpleEnigma]

'Full swap; no eyes' is how many couples we know phrase it.

 

[AchtungNight]

I’ve heard the term “unicorn” for a person willing to have sex with a married couple within the boundaries of their personal kinks. I myself have coined the term “drifter” for a person who slips in and out of the swinging lifestyle while preferring monogamy. I’m a drifter. Unicorn? Not so much. My partner has to be willing to cheat on their marital partner first. And they have to demonstrate that willingness to me.

Being an ethical slut isn’t as simple as it seemed at first, huh?

Haven’t heard a specific term for what you propose but this might get you closer to describing what you want to a lay reader. The most dedicated swingers I know don’t like how Stanley Kubrick depicted their lifestyle in Eyes Wide Shut. Your story will probably enjoy far less attention. I can get you close to what you want but not all the way. Is this enough help? Hope so.

 

[SimonDoom]

View attachment 2256470

Not being a STEM person, I had to look this up. Now that I have it's pretty funny.

 

[Britva415]

Not being a STEM person, I had to look this up. Now that I have it's pretty funny.

I took it as just a joke about the complications of figuring out swinging culture and practices, kind of like the confused lady meme. But thanks to you I looked it up too and damn, that was well done @EmilyMiller

 

[MrPixel]

The most dedicated swingers I know don’t like how Stanley Kubrick depicted their lifestyle in Eyes Wide Shut.

Typical Hollywood disengagement from reality. Even their own reality, as I had secondhand familiarity with the drugs and sex scene associated with the film industry at the time.

 

[lilshymynx]

I’ve heard the term “unicorn” for a person willing to have sex with a married couple within the boundaries of their personal kinks. I myself have coined the term “drifter” for a person who slips in and out of the swinging lifestyle while preferring monogamy. I’m a drifter. Unicorn? Not so much. My partner has to be willing to cheat on their marital partner first. And they have to demonstrate that willingness to me.

"Unicorn", in my experiences, has a pretty specific definition - a single, bi woman who is interested in joining couples (generally M/F) for sex. As the name implies a highly-sought and rare thing to find.

edit - post #69. Giggity.

 

[AchtungNight]

Ah, so once such a woman gets married she is no longer a unicorn. And a man who is straight but similarly willing to be with married women has a different term. I see. I still have much to learn about swinging.

 

[MrPixel]

And a man who is straight but similarly willing to be with married women has a different term.

Yeah. Any single guy who hangs around swingers. Dime-a-dozen.

 

[AlexBailey]

"Unicorn", in my experiences, has a pretty specific definition - a single, bi woman who is interested in joining couples (generally M/F) for sex. As the name implies a highly-sought and rare thing to find.

edit - post #69. Giggity.

That’s one definition of unicorn, though I think it’s a misuse.

A “unicorn” as I understand it, is the “ideal” third person to join a particular couple, and while there are probably more heterosexual couples seeking a female third, that is not necessarily the case.

When an established couple wants to find a third partner they can have some very specific criteria for that person that the couple needs to agree on. Once they have made their list of desired attributes they need to find someone who not only fulfills their desires, but the third also has all of their own desires to recon with.

The right match can be very hard to find - looking for that “unicorn.”

I was already a unicorn for a married couple who were even more delighted when they found out I was a bi CD - I was presenting cis male at the time. They had settled on finding a boyfriend (second penis) for the wife and ended up with a toy for both of them.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Different swinging groups will have different cultures. The swingers I've met at various crossover events ranged from the stereotyped versions where heterosexual couples (from Essex, with orange suntans and gold medallions) fucked other couples in purely het ways in the same room (to avoid jealousy) carefully ensuring no emotions could possibly be involved, so wouldn't even ask each others names and never contact each other outside events, to people doing what I'd think of as the more casual end of polyamory - acquire friends with benefits and meet up as and when you want.

That’s one definition of unicorn, though I think it’s a misuse.

A “unicorn” as I understand it, is the “ideal” third person to join a particular couple, and while there are probably more heterosexual couples seeking a female third, that is not necessarily the case.

It's a deliberate definition, not a misuse. There's probably more couples looking for the female.bisexual third who is interested in both of a couple, yes, but the pool is much smaller - finding a bi guy who will join two people for a night isn't so difficult. A fair few guys will fuck pretty much anyone who's interested.

Finding a woman who will take the risks of joining a threesome, and who is willing to fuck both of any two particular people, is much harder. Hoping said woman will then move in with you etc, dealing with being added to a long-established relationship, is very much similar territory to unicorns.

Women willing to be added to such a relationship tend to be young and needy and looking for somewhere to live as much as the sex or relationship. It generally doesn't end well.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I'm not in the lifestyle but bringing in a swapping couple into one of my stories.

I googled "Couples that only swap with other couples." and got lots of his of soft vs full swap and lots of his about sex parties and hotel takeovers. In my story, they meet another couple and are interested in a swap. 1 on 1. that is husband 1 has sex with wife 2 and Husband 2 has sex with Wife 1 in a different room. They fully fuck so it is not soft swap. Everyone has an orgasm and there is no cucking involved. The end. They part ways after the night.

Is there a specific word or name for this practice? I've heard of it happening but is it rare?

What is it called when a couple only swaps 1 on 1 with another couple. that is either they both get laid, or neither do. IE they don't go the sex parties or clubs where the wife likely will get more offers than the man will.

Are the people that only swap with another couple rare? Most things I could find were about the full swap people going to parties.

Couples having sex with the other couple are "full swap", whether it's in the same room or separate rooms. They don't distinguish between house parties with multiple couples or whether it must be with just one couple and no others in the same house. The swinger full swap couple make their own rules of whether they insist on the other partners being married, regardless of the room situation.

The term "unicorn" refers to a female playing alone in the swinger world (straight or Bi), and I don't think anyone asks whether she's single or married, because single females in that lifestyle are so rare. Single guys or cheating guys playing without their spouse are far too common.

If you're trying to write a story about swingers or other sex-related issues, one tool to use would be to search for websites dedicated to such things. There are a few which allow browsing or free accounts you can set up, then explore the message boards and other profiles of people into those things. It takes time to conduct such research. But you'll find it quite enlightening.

 

[MrPixel]

Women willing to be added to such a relationship tend to be young and needy and looking for somewhere to live as much as the sex or relationship. It generally doesn't end well.

As my wife will attest re. her first marriage, although the interloper wasn't bi, it was an FMF relationship. Wife lost.

 

[abvt75]

That is a big fear of mine… getting my hubby stolen away or us catching something

@RedShadowWolf set the ground rules and take it slow. There will be attraction and lust from both of you for the third wheel. Jealousy is normal…. Just make sure after the third wheel is gone … you both give time to each other. Also never bring the third wheel
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