need help, with hubby...

[Kbunnee09]

im not sure where to begin.. well lets start with his fantasies of us in a threesome.... well over the years he brought them up more an more BUT in the last i dont know lets say 6mths its sooo much more... more so that he wants to be become real instead of just fastasy.. ok but i am not really up for it... but want to make him happy.. but its not just that its more.. a threesome with the 3rd person a guy.. ok well that makes its somewhat better.. but im still having troulbe with it.. an then theres more... hes had fantasies of sucking another guy off.. ok weve talked about it... (to a point ) an now our last few talks we had while being close touchy feely hes told me that its become more than thoughts an fantasies he says its more like ugres of really wanting to try this.. but he wants me totally apart of it... now talking about it is one thing but making it happen is another... i have issues for starters .. i dont understand how the fantasy went to that far as making it happen... all of it not just part... im lost !!! for one... i just dont understand and then theres my feelings and self issues i dont know i can ever get passed to go forward with it... HELP ME PLEAESE.... this is one thing i cant talked to my bestfriend about for help an advice with .. which i never thought id come across something i couldnt tell her when shes know EVERYTHING else... so since hes been coming here and reading an stuff i thought id come here for help .. if someone could shed some light on things for either mans view or womens view.. im thinking i need both !!! sooooo someone help the new girl understand her husband for the first time in all of my years with him...

 

[Azuldrgon]

Okay,

First of all, I would feel fortunate that he has talked to you regarding these fantasies. Too many times, partners have forsaken talking to their partners regarding their fantasies due to their fears of the other person not being as accepting of them because of it.
The most important thing to do in this case is talk to him. Even though this seems so simple, the fact is that his fantasy does not override your comfort level. Sexual experimentation is a wonderful thing provided that it is accepted by all parties. He seems hell bent on his fantasy, but has no idea of your true feelings about it. He will not get it from a random post on a porn board. You need to discuss your concerns with him as adults.
Apparently, your hubby is displaying bisexual tendencies and although some may get turned on by it, it is his responsibility not to pursue his fantasy if it will hurt you in the process. If he loves you, he'll understand and perhaps will wait to pursue it until a more advantageous opportunity arises.

I hope my insight helps. It is sometimes hard to discover that your partner may be on a different sexual plain than you. Hugs!

 

[Kbunnee09]

thank u for ur message.. we do talk.. and i do all i can to not dismiss anything.. but as mush as says and promises me that he is 100% ok an turned on by the threesome an his feeling wont change and stuff i still feel that it can.. as well as for the fact that even though hes all for it i still feel theres betrayal there and dont know if i can get passed that.. ive never stayed in our relationship but he has and i think thats another reason i see problems.. an my big problem is if i agree an it happens what if it doesnt end there?? and he wants to have another an another even if it isnt anytime soon after... thats not where i want to go.. but a big part of me wouldnt love to fullfill this 4 him... but then thats it... an something tells me that he wont want it to end.. you know...