Need help via PM

[ThePlotThickens]

Greets Literoticans,

I'm in a bit of a bind and am desperate for advice. I can't post it here (some replies I've read in the past have been a bit - unkind and harsh), so if any could help me via private message - please send one my way and I'll disclose the story in return in full detail. Thank you kindly.

 

[Guest]

 

[ThePlotThickens]

I'll take my chances. The story is far worse.

 

[SweetErika]

*Wonders if she's one of the people deemed unkind/harsh*

You're welcome to PM me, if that's not the case. Just remember your story and the help you receive could benefit others, so that's a definite plus of giving the basics publically.

 

[ThePlotThickens]

Normally I would agree but there is a chance my friend could read this. A million to one I'm sure but a possibility nonetheless.

 

[Cathleen]

I don't know if you're all set but if not you are welcome to PM me if you'd like.

 

[hogjack]

Potential answers to the secret question:

1. The goat should always be kept in separate chambers until needed.
2. Don't worry, other dimensions do accept credit cards.
3. It was NEVER intended for such a perverse act. Sicko.
4. I'd get it checked out by a physician, just in case.
5. Give that a try but wear eye protection. Please.

 

[Recidiva]

Potential answers to the secret question:

1. The goat should always be kept in separate chambers until needed.
2. Don't worry, other dimensions do accept credit cards.
3. It was NEVER intended for such a perverse act. Sicko.
4. I'd get it checked out by a physician, just in case.
5. Give that a try but wear eye protection. Please.

Thank you, that covers seven...no eight...of my questions. You're a gem.

 

[Cockyfox]

I have to admit that I'm dreadfully curious. But hogjack covered so much that I don't know how I can add to the list....except for the Lit mantra of "communicate, talk, communicate."

Good luck.

 

[Recidiva]

I have to admit that I'm dreadfully curious. But hogjack covered so much that I don't know how I can add to the list....except for the Lit mantra of "communicate, talk, communicate."

Good luck.

Add to that "Back off, be patient, back off"

 

[hogjack]

Thank you, that covers seven...no eight...of my questions. You're a gem.

6. Inflate it again but this time cover with vaseline. Lots and lots of vaseline.
7. In Tibet you'd be considered wise. But only in Tibet. As is I'd keep a low profile.
8. Most people won't even see the scars. And if they do you'll know them quite well - they won't care!
9. If it turns a pinkish-green you've misread the application directions.
10. According to the star charts this is YOUR month. Be relentlessly aggressive. And have legal representation stand by if things get hinkey.

 

[Recidiva]

6. Inflate it again but this time cover with vaseline. Lots and lots of vaseline.
7. In Tibet you'd be considered wise. But only in Tibet. As is I'd keep a low profile.
8. Most people won't even see the scars. And if they do you'll know them quite well - they won't care!
9. If it turns a pinkish-green you've misread the application directions.
10. According to the star charts this is YOUR month. Be relentlessly aggressive. And have legal representation stand by if things get hinkey.

*scribbles* You are a Godsend. That's 27 questions handled.

Except, what if it's purplish-black?

 

[hogjack]

...how I can add to the list....except for the Lit mantra of "communicate, talk, communicate."

Hopefully in the same language. Charades can be effective in a pinch.

 

[hogjack]

Except, what if it's purplish-black?

Penicillin. Thank [deity of choice] for penicillin!

And deep body massages.*



*Doesn't change the purplish-black but certainly makes one's final days pleasant.

 

[Recidiva]

Penicillin. Thank [deity of choice] for penicillin!

And deep body massages.*



*Doesn't change the purplish-black but certainly makes one's final days pleasant.

Thank you. It's a hard decision. I'm going to call in "Struck down by plague"

 

[lil_squirter]

6. Inflate it again but this time cover with vaseline. Lots and lots of vaseline.
7. In Tibet you'd be considered wise. But only in Tibet. As is I'd keep a low profile.
8. Most people won't even see the scars. And if they do you'll know them quite well - they won't care!
9. If it turns a pinkish-green you've misread the application directions.
10. According to the star charts this is YOUR month. Be relentlessly aggressive. And have legal representation stand by if things get hinkey.

If I may add:

11. Lather, rinse, repeate

 

[hogjack]

If I may add:

11. Lather, rinse, repeate

That kind of advice is not only prudent but will result in a healthier shine.

 

[Cathleen]

I hope you are all happy with yourselves! This is a very sensitive issue and ya'll are poking fun? So uncouth. If you want to continue to post here at the HT you'll have to take the pledge. If you're not willing then be gone with your silly hijack.

 

[hogjack]

I hope you are all happy with yourselves! This is a very sensitive issue and ya'll are poking fun? So uncouth. If you want to continue to post here at the HT you'll have to take the pledge. If you're not willing then be gone with your silly hijack.

Those hijacking rascals!

I'll take the pledge:

I, hogjack, do solemnly swear to provide clear, helpful, positive advice to the following scenarios:

• Is my penis too (big, small, crooked, bent, funny lookin')?
• How do I get rid of this untimely gag reflex?
• My vaginal area suddenly resembles a map of Europe. Is that normal?
• I want to have sex with my [choose kin]. Is this so wrong?
• My [choose relationship] won't [choose sexual technique or situation]. How do I get him/her to agree to it?
• How do I get an avatar? I need one. I want one. I MUST HAVE ONE!

 

[Cathleen]

Those hijacking rascals!

I'll take the pledge:

I, hogjack, do solemnly swear to provide clear, helpful, positive advice to the following scenarios:

• Is my penis too (big, small, crooked, bent, funny lookin')?
• How do I get rid of this untimely gag reflex?
• My vaginal area suddenly resembles a map of Europe. Is that normal?
• I want to have sex with my [choose kin]. Is this so wrong?
• My [choose relationship] won't [choose sexual technique or situation]. How do I get him/her to agree to it?
• How do I get an avatar? I need one. I want one. I MUST HAVE ONE!

Hogjack, a big thank you for knowing I was being sarcastic... I can't believe I didn't do the good old [/sarcasm] thing.

Plus that's the pledge for the less than 100 posts people.

 

[lil_squirter]

I thought we Hogjacked the thread

 

[bobsgirl]

Hogjack, a big thank you for knowing I was being sarcastic... I can't believe I didn't do the good old [/sarcasm] thing.

Plus that's the pledge for the less than 100 posts people.

I am an idiot, once again. I thought you were scolding us for real.

 

[Cathleen]

I thought we Hogjacked the thread

OK, a big thank you to you for making me laugh very loudly.

I am an idiot, once again. I thought you were scolding us for real.

You aren't an idiot -- but hell woman, do you not know me?

(yes, I forgot to return your call, sorry)

 

[Eilan]

If you want to continue to post here at the HT you'll have to take the pledge.

Pledge?

 

[Cathleen]

Pledge?

Aren't you on the committee?