Need help forming my opinion about a known sex offender using the web...

[GiGiWARNING]

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Xxxxxxx

 

[stickygirl]

I'll be interested to read other replies because my experience ( of life ) is pretty limited.

First up - has he broken the law, or breached any restraining orders from his former conviction? If not, then any action you take against could be classed as harrassment and you'll end up in court, and because he sounds like an asshole, he'll probably pursue that action.
If he legally needs to add a caveat to his online membership that outlines his previous conviction ( doubtful ) then that could be one line you could take up.

Other than that, I don't see what you can do. Pay someone to break his legs *shrug?*

I'd be relieved your family member is out of it, but victims love to be victims so don't be surprised if she walks straight into another abusive relationship. It's her that needs the counselling - urgently by the sounds of it.

Good luck

Am I crazy for wanting to report the guy? Nope
I am not talking public disgrace but just sending the mods a little heads up note. They'll shrug - nothing they can do I suspect.
Am I out of bounds for feeling like I have some responsibility to protect people from him. Absolutely not - it's horribnle to watch people you love put themselves in these situations
Am I just a complete bitch for caring about this? wtf? no
What would you Do? Take care of the victim

 

[rynners1011]

I would let people know. I mean,technically it is public knowledge. I would definitely want to know if someone I might be intimate with was a sex offender. IMO, child abusers do not deserve peace in life. It will follow them and be a blight on their lives forever, as it should. I'm glad your relative got away from him.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

So before I start I want to make it clear that I am not grouping all offenders together. Each situation is different...

The only time it's different...well those are few and far between, unless the woman is a habitual accuser.

All sex offenders are the same, they want control of the other person. Complete control. It's not about sex. It's about control. Rape is not about sex, it's about control.

Child molestation is about the only exception. The offender is a completely sick and disgusting animal that should be wiped from society without regret.

 

[Bramblethorn]

The only time it's different...well those are few and far between, unless the woman is a habitual accuser.

All sex offenders are the same, they want control of the other person. Complete control. It's not about sex. It's about control. Rape is not about sex, it's about control.

By common-sense definitions of "sex offender" I pretty much agree with you. Problem is, the legal definition doesn't always have a lot to do with common sense.

Depending on jurisdiction, stopping to take a whiz by the side of the road can get you on a sex offender registry for "indecent exposure". I remember one case where an under-age girl sent a naked photo of herself to her boyfriend and ended up on a register as a result.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

By common-sense definitions of "sex offender" I pretty much agree with you. Problem is, the legal definition doesn't always have a lot to do with common sense.

Depending on jurisdiction, stopping to take a whiz by the side of the road can get you on a sex offender registry for "indecent exposure". I remember one case where an under-age girl sent a naked photo of herself to her boyfriend and ended up on a register as a result.

Well, if the cop is a prick or the road has a lot of traffic...yet it's still a crime to take a whiz on the side of the road. Now if you step off into the woods or hold it until the next gas station, then you probably won't have a problem.

Not even going to address the child porn bit.

 

[twister947]

If the info is, as you say, readily accessible on the net, I don't see you having any responsibility in this. I would stay out of it.

 

[LWulf]

Here's the thing, you use one fact to substantiate a feeling. That's called "misleading" or "spurious." Then you ask "is it wrong to act on that feeling?" Yes, it is.

Whether you want to admit it or not, you have a grudge. It wasn't YOU he sexually molested when you were 11. It wasn't YOU he tied up and whipped, consensually. Are you right to be concerned? Yes, as a person on the periphery of an action on a loved one, you are completely entitled to be concerned. But, are you right to act on that concern? Outside the scope of prompting the proper people to get involved, no.

It is questionably wrong what he did with your relative. Nobody would contest that he could have treated her better, BUT, did he do anything illegal? No, and if he did, that is for a court to decide, not for a concerned citizen to take it upon themselves to righting the wrongs of society.
Does this guy have a lot of growing up to do? Yes, but is that YOUR responsibility? No.


Am I crazy for wanting to report the guy? Yes, because being a dirty dog does not make his actions illegal. However, if you truly feel he acted illegally, then get your relative to talk to a lawyer or a district attorney. They could give her (and indirectly, YOU) a better answer than anybody here.
I am not talking public disgrace but just sending the mods a little heads up note. Actually, it sounds exactly like you are trying to disgrace him publicly.
Am I out of bounds for feeling like I have some responsibility to protect people from him. Yes, you are going outside the bounds of YOUR responsibility. If you feel rightfully justified that he acted illegally against your relative, then SHE should go to a lawyer or DA, otherwise you are being a snitch by spreading innuendo and hearsay, otherwise known as rumors and gossip.
Am I just a complete bitch for caring about this? It's not being a bitch to care. It's being a bitch to put on a catsuit, carry a whip and call yourself catwoman (if not neurotic).
What would you Do? I think I've already said this in previous answers.

My advice? Lay off the Batman, Leverage and other such forms of entertainment.

 

[timmyid2]

Just my opinion

You have to consider more than just the "facts". You have to put them in perspective.

Was it wrong for an 18 year old to take advantage of a young girl? Of course, but 18 year olds don't always think with their heads. Would he do it now, 10 years later? Probably not. It sounds like he's discovered D/s as his preferred kink.

The measure that I would use is whether you'd report the guy based ONLY on his current activities. Since we are on a forum that has sections dedicated to BDSM, it's not an activity that is even frowned upon.

Keep in mind that in some communities, just participating in Literotica would be considered morally repulsive and perverted. Would you like to be outed to your community as a pervert because you read LIT, possibly losing your job and friends?

Am I crazy for wanting to report the guy? Not crazy, just over zealous.

Am I out of bounds for feeling like I have some responsibility to protect people from him. Yes.
Am I just a complete bitch for caring about this? Caring's always OK. Interfering may not be.
What would you Do? Unless you have evidence of illegal activities, let it slide.

timmy

 

[Lovecutmuscles]

As a woman, I would want to know. What if a woman that responds to his ads/posts has a child ? Someone who is capable of doing something like that in the first place, is someone that can do it again. Sex offenders who are honest about what they have done, say exactly that, that they know they could and would do it again.

Also, if you can find out about his probation and the rules of being a sex offender in your state, he may legally Not supposed to be posting ads like that.

Legal definition of Forcible Compulsion:
Forcible compulsion in relation to sexual offences means to compel by use of physical force or by threat. Forcible compulsion places a person in fear of immediate or future death, or physical injury to one's self or another person or in fear that the person or another person will immediately or in future be kidnapped.

 

[LadyPear]

What would you Do?

Dear Gigi,
thanks for posting this. I think this is a useful advice for others, and a good read anyway. I have a feeling you are reasonable, honest person just caring about others, not crazy or smth. What you say about is important. That reminds everyone of being cautious and that our lives and health (both physical and mental) are the most valuable.
But others have already said what I think (except maybe LWulf and timmyid2).

 

[barefootgirl69]

Since you don't know all the details of the case, how would you know whether or not this girl wanted to have sex with him? Yes, being 18 and hanging out with children is wrong, but the point is it could have been just a stupid mistake he did while young that he will never get away from.

If he's online and he's attracting older women and not looking for kids, what's the problem with that? He has that right, he's served his time and punishment. If he does or doesn't tell people his past, what business is that of yours?

 

[Aquagal]

As your friend is newly out of this controlling, abusive relationship, is it possible he would think it is her ratting him out anonymously? How much of a danger is he?

 

[hashtag45]

So here's my question for all you wonderful people who just took the time to read all of that...
Am I crazy for wanting to report the guy?
I am not talking public disgrace but just sending the mods a little heads up note.
Am I out of bounds for feeling like I have some responsibility to protect people from him.
Am I just a complete bitch for caring about this?
What would you Do?

I can't believe I'm saying this! I wouldn't do it, if I was in your place.

If your sister wasn't involved, I would say inform the forum moderators asap. (Within boundaries of what's legal and won't put you at risk of being sued).

But I also think it's very likely that he might put two and two together (signs that the website owners are paying him more attention & right after his relationship breakup). And he'll figure out that you or your sister "ratted him out" so to speak.
That could turn into a dangerous situation for your sister.

It's a tough one, as you say, choosing between your moral values (protecting the public) and your loyalty to your sister.
If it was all only about my own safety I'd report it asap. But as is your case, I'd choose my family over morality.

 

[NextDoorSecret]

My opinion may not the popular one.
I believe all it takes for evil to continue to exist is for people to let it.

By not saying anything you are condoning the actions, you are allowing the potential evil to be perpetrated and allowing others to be at risk.

He raped an 11 year old according to the information you are posting here.
Eleven. That is a child, someone who cannot understand what they are agreeing to.
This isn't "taking advantage of" it's rape.
I can tell you that it's rare for a rapist to rehabilitate. They are some of the most habitual re-offenders. There is a reason they are required to register for life.

He is lying to everyone it appears and people are trusting this individual in situations where trust is vital.

He should be exposed for the safety of his next potential victims.