Need feedback

[PurpleMonkeyDishwash]

I'm new to erotic writing and would like to know how I can improve. My stories deal with small penis humiliation and cum sluts.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=391041

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=390577

thanks.

 

[JackLuis]

What can I say?

I'm new to erotic writing and would like to know how I can improve. My stories deal with small penis humiliation and cum sluts.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=391041

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=390577

thanks.

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PMD:
There was no story there. In either one.
Sorry to say this too you, as you at least had the guts to put them up.
There was no tension and the girls were nasty sluts with no background stories, no motivation or .....
Why did the girl in the first on need to suck 100 feet of dick? She lose a bet? Is she going to piss off her Daddy with the pix? Decerning readers want to know.
Try again and put some story in the next one. If you only what to humiliate the short of stature you will get few readers. Maybe he finds that his short dick is an excellent clit stimulator, or G-Spot manipulatior? Or the girls find that his dick doesn't make them gag so they can take him 'all the way' and have thier picture taken with their nose in his fur, to win a bet.
Or, the girls figure they can take him up the ass, 'cause he can't hurt them with his little dick and he finds that a tight asshole can pump his "quarts of semen" out so nicely that his scrotum can finally empty. Aleaviting his having to wear specially modified jeans?

He becomes the hit of the Cheerleading Squad when the girls find out that a seman enima cures thier pimples?

Don't laugh, a quart of jizz up the ass just might do that, at least in fiction.
Your character "Dickless McFee", or what ever his name is, should find a way to get pussy or ass else he is just another dickless looser who ends up on a grassy knole with gun. Nobody's going to read your stories if he can't find a way to achieve his ends.

I was in the Army with a black guy who had a "Black Snake" must have been 12" hard 'cause it was 7" soft. He couldn't find a whore who would take him. While all of us white guys were humping our combat pay into the LBFM's,(Little Brown Fucking Machines) he had to 'lope his mule', but he did save a lot of money and bought a new car when he came home from the war.


Not every girl wants a 9 incher, the girls in the Libraian club might just find his little dick a wining weiner!

 

[JackLuis]

Burning Question?

If electricity comes from electrons,

does morality come from morons?