Need an editor for story(s) involving male Underwear and masturbation

[Undyman69]

I have written two stories so far about male friends masturbating with underwear. The frist one is about 1600 words the second 2300. I think I need help with flow more then grammar or content. I just don't want to put it out there if it doesn't read proper.

Thank You
Undyman69

 

[_Lynn_]

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[Undyman69]

Anyone?

Anyone

 

[yukonnights]

I'm not offering to proof-read your story, but since these are your first efforts here I wanted to comment on the length. One published LitE story page is about 3750 words. The often recommended story length is three LitE pages or; +/- 11,250 words. As you can see, your 1600 words and 2300 words will be just at one page if combined.

What this too often implies is; the story is not really a story, but more of just a snapshot scene. I encourage you to consider trying to develop the story more. Who are the guys, how did the sexual adventure begin, are there any doubts in their minds about doing this, do they have any romantic feelings or are they just strangers on a fling, etc. ? If you think about it some more, perhaps their story can grow even more than this you already have.

Which category to put it into is also important. In this story, there is male/male content which can be a huge turn-off for many readers. However, it is also clearly a 'fetish' revolving around the use of underwear to jerk-off. If you end up putting it in the Fetish category, be sure to put a note at the beginning that warns potential readers that there is M/M sexual content in the story.

Hope some of this helps you toward a better story and thus more enjoyment in the effort.

 

[Undyman69]

Thanks for the advice, I will combine the stories and fill in more details

 

[Undyman69]

Ok, I have the same story but it now has three parts and just under 5900 words.
I think I need help with flow more then grammar or content. I just don't want to put it out there if it doesn't read proper.

Thank You
Undyman69