Need advice

[RAnthony]

I have been married for almost 5 years. My wife and I met during college. During our first year of dating, we were very close with another couple. The guy Ed was my closet friend at the time. When he broke up with his girlfriend, he still hung out with us often. About six months into the relationship, my girlfriend (Stacey), now my wife had cheated with him. I had walk in unexpectedly. This was hard and difficult. Stacey told me how she made a mistake and loved me. We moved on and I dis-owned by friend. We were married 2 years late.

We explored our sexuality and got into a dom/sub relationship rather quickly. If was great. Stacey fell into the submissive role very easily. Just last year after feeling very suspicious, I discovered that she was having an affair. The shock of my life was that it was with Ed. And then some things made sense when other friends asked throughout the years if we still friends and someone even said they say them together. Turns out she has been carrying on the affair for a long time. I thought we had trust and now, I feel it's broken. On the other hand, it has rekindle our relationship and our sessions have become intense - she has confessed to every little detail. I now consider her on loan when she is with him. I have spoke with Ed and we are a bit closer. In fact, he is aware of our dom/sub relationship and wants to be come part of this. Stacey has said that we have some special. Ed could never dom her and her relationship is only sexual. She has said that Ed has a sub side and is very curious and would like to join us. I am not sure if this is the right thing to do and would appreciate any advice. I am interested in a strange way, but need advice on how to handle the session. What we 3 of us do?

Anthony

 

[SubbieHubbie2]

Sounds like they're both trying to persuade you and you feel uncomfortable. My advice is simple - talk to them about your discomfort and work it through to either acceptance or not. In any relationship, but particularly in a BDSM one (IMO, others may disagree), communication between participants is the key. And that doesn't mean you just listen, that's called monologue not communication.

 

[Etoile]

Hmmm. Well, it sounds to me like there are some trust issues that need to be worked out first. Your wife was having an affair for a long time behind your back. Are you comfortable with your relationship with her now? Are you really honestly comfortable with her continuing to see him? Are you personally interested in a polyamorous relationship? It sounds to me like an excuse for them to stay together with your permission. Just my two cents.

 

[NCShin]

Not to sound callous, but that is why you break up with cheaters on the spot and never look back.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

She needs to start being more honest with you. Does she really want a 3-way relationship, or is that, like the D/s thing, a way of keeping you happy with their affair? It's one thing to have a genuinely open relationship from the outset. I do. It's quite another to manipulate someone into giving them what you want, by lying and placating their fantasies. She's selling you something, and I doubt you should buy it.
You don't even know if she's really sub, or just playing along, or whether she even used protection with him, come to think of it. I'd be demanding some real answers from both of them, and checking them against each other's. If they are willing to be candid then, then perhaps you can take them as slaves or subs on a probationary basis. Naturally, their first days as subs or slaves should be harder on them than the future, as a deserved punishment for their betrayal. I'm still not sure.

Of course, it's also possible that she did this to anger you into dominating her more severely, but I doubt, because she would probably ensured that you found out sooner. She might be a sex addict too.

 

[A Desert Rose]

You people actually believe this stuff?

LMAO

 

[SubbieHubbie2]

ADR - to me, there seems no particular reason to disbelieve it.

If it's real - we have someone who turned to the community for help. No hassle to throw in a tuppence of thoughts.

If it's fake - we have a situation open to a few minutes chat and bullshit and hey, I'm a masters (not Master's) student, so I'm used to bs...

 

[A Desert Rose]

ADR - to me, there seems no particular reason to disbelieve it.

If it's real - we have someone who turned to the community for help. No hassle to throw in a tuppence of thoughts.

If it's fake - we have a situation open to a few minutes chat and bullshit and hey, I'm a masters (not Master's) student, so I'm used to bs...

LMAO... hey, okay. If you're okay with it that's all that matters.

 

[Etoile]

LMAO... hey, okay. If you're okay with it that's all that matters.

I think SubbieHubbie2 is right. For me, the reason the original post came across as true was the tone of voice. It's always possible to misread something communicated through text, but from the word choice and grammatical structure I got the impression that this was genuine - or, if you must, copied verbatim from somewhere legitimate! (Yeah, I'm a linguistics nerd...)

And this board has seen plenty of good discussions arise from threads or posts that started out as trolling attempts. Perhaps we're just asserting our ownership of the board by responding as we choose and having a discussion, rather than just saying "oh it's a troll" and letting the chance for conversation slip away.

Or hell, maybe I'm just gullible. Wouldn't be the first time!