Need advice/info on Premier Leauge (UK)

[Tomh1966]

Scenario. Need a Premier Leauge team that is (almost?) always in the upper division (MUST be in upper division in 2018-2019 for my story.) In my series, the culture has a thing where bar tabs are paid based on 'who your team is' IE if your friend's team is better this week, you pay the tab for both of you.

The catch is the team needs to be in the upper division consistently but mostly suck, but not suck so bad they ever are one of the bottom 3 teams that gets sent down into the minor leagues. IE the worst team always in the upper division.

The MC is getting bad advice on who to choose from a dickhead coworker. IE the MC will be stuck paying a ton of bar tabs. The MC is from the US and has no idea who is who in the Premier League. (He gets saved by a new friend and chooses one of the top teams on his advice.)

 

[TheRedChamber]

I'm not a football fan so can't really help you with specifics but I'm not sure that works as a concept in the UK. There's a whole thing about how everyone from a town without a decent football team supports Man United and the real fan will stick to their team wherever they are in the league while the asshole will just choose the top team because they like winning. No one is going to want to reward the asshole with free beer week after week. Plus enough fans support teams that are out of the Premier League, let alone not in the top half.

Besides paying a tab isn't really a thing - everyone would be paying for rounds and, normally, it's very important to be seen not to be skipping your turn (even over successive evenings out)

 

[Tomh1966]

I'm not a football fan so can't really help you with specifics but I'm not sure that works as a concept in the UK. There's a whole thing about how everyone from a town without a decent football team supports Man United and the real fan will stick to their team wherever they are in the league while the asshole will just choose the top team because they like winning. No one is going to want to reward the asshole with free beer week after week. Plus enough fans support teams that are out of the Premier League, let alone not in the top half.

Besides paying a tab isn't really a thing - everyone would be paying for rounds and, normally, it's very important to be seen not to be skipping your turn (even over successive evenings out)

The location is fictional and not the UK. The culture (from Heartbreak and Hope) is part US part UK.

 

[NoTalentHack]

So, first, it’s spelled “League.” Sorry, my knowledge ends there.

 

[onehitwanda]

The location is fictional and not the UK. The culture (from Heartbreak and Hope) is part US part UK.

So it's a fictional non-UK location that still cares enough about the UK Premier league for bar tabs to be based on it, rather than the massively more popular and well-known UEFA Champions League in which Premier League clubs from the UK compete?

Hmm.

I think I'm going to have to pre-emptively invoke Chekov's Howitzer.

 

[nice90sguy]

Scenario. Need a Premier Leauge team that is (almost?) always in the upper division (MUST be in upper division in 2018-2019 for my story.) In my series, the culture has a thing where bar tabs are paid based on 'who your team is' IE if your friend's team is better this week, you pay the tab for both of you.

The catch is the team needs to be in the upper division consistently but mostly suck, but not suck so bad they ever are one of the bottom 3 teams that gets sent down into the minor leagues. IE the worst team always in the upper division.

The MC is getting bad advice on who to choose from a dickhead coworker. IE the MC will be stuck paying a ton of bar tabs. The MC is from the US and has no idea who is who in the Premier League. (He gets saved by a new friend and chooses one of the top teams on his advice.)

Manchester United, Liverpool, Manchester City, Chelsea and Arsenal are nearly always contenders to top the Premiere League.
They have massive following, globally. It amazes me when I travel far from the UK how much locals know about the teams and the players -- often a lot more than I do! Those teams are global brands.

 

[Biker_Faerie]

https://www.premierleague.com/tables

Take your pick of 12 -17

They are all just making up the numbers

 

[Tomh1966]

https://www.premierleague.com/tables

Take your pick of 12 -17

They are all just making up the numbers

of 12-17, which of these has been 'sent down' the least. It appears to be called relegation. Which of these 1 or 2 are least likely relegated?

 

[Biker_Faerie]

I'd say Crystal Palace to both

 

[Tomh1966]

I'd say Crystal Palace to both

CP it is! Thanks. Like I said, I was looking for info that was deliberately bad advice from this coworker who was being a dick.

 

[Euphony]

So it's a fictional non-UK location that still cares enough about the UK Premier league for bar tabs to be based on it, rather than the massively more popular and well-known UEFA Champions League in which Premier League clubs from the UK compete?

Hmm.

I think I'm going to have to pre-emptively invoke Chekov's Howitzer.

"If you find someone with a passport, we’re here ’til 8:00. And do stay for the Poppuns."

 

[GlennJenko]

which of these has been 'sent down' the least. It appears to be called relegation.

I'm sorry, but this is just hilarious to me. Been a bad morning so thanks for the chuckle.

But yes, if you finish in the bottom 3 of the Prem you're relegated. If you then come back up, you're promoted.

And I concur that Palace is a good choice for what you want.

 

[Cagivagurl]

Scenario. Need a Premier Leauge team that is (almost?) always in the upper division (MUST be in upper division in 2018-2019 for my story.) In my series, the culture has a thing where bar tabs are paid based on 'who your team is' IE if your friend's team is better this week, you pay the tab for both of you.

The catch is the team needs to be in the upper division consistently but mostly suck, but not suck so bad they ever are one of the bottom 3 teams that gets sent down into the minor leagues. IE the worst team always in the upper division.

The MC is getting bad advice on who to choose from a dickhead coworker. IE the MC will be stuck paying a ton of bar tabs. The MC is from the US and has no idea who is who in the Premier League. (He gets saved by a new friend and chooses one of the top teams on his advice.)

Tottenham Hotspurs....
A perennial almost made it into Europe, but never quite made it...
Regularly finish somewhere between fifth and tenth....
I spent a year holidaying in Great Britain. Lived with a girl who was a rabid Spurs follower...
Bloody horrid...
Worse than Kiwi's and Rugby....

 

[GlennJenko]

Tottenham Hotspurs....
A perennial almost made it into Europe, but never quite made it...
Regularly finish somewhere between fifth and tenth....
I spent a year holidaying in Great Britain. Lived with a girl who was a rabid Spurs follower...
Bloody horrid...
Worse than Kiwi's and Rugby....

Tottenham do regularly get into Europe, they just never win anything. Not won a trophy since 2008 but did get to the Champions League final in that time (which obviously they lost).

But yeah, 5th-10th is most often where they'll end up.

 

[PennameWombat]

I'd say Crystal Palace to both

Palace were out of the Premier League after being relegated in 1998 and were down until the 2013/14 season.

Everton haven't been relegated since 1950, so well before the Premier League existed, promoted three years later and ever-present in whatever the top division has been. Their last top division championship, in the old pre-Premier League First Division, was 1986/87, their ninth top division championship. Only Arsenal have a longer record of not being relegated.

Everton's only honour since then was winning the FA Cup in 1994/95.

And in recent years they've been regularly fighting just above the relegation zone (bottom three). But as mentioned, 70+ years without relegation.

But I don't understand the scenario. Why would you pick an also-ran, if you’re not a fan of a club? In 2018/19, you'd pick Manchester City or Liverpool. Be done with it. Why bother with Palace or Everton or West Ham?

Depending who's at this hypothetical pub, I walk in wearing my Millwall colours, I might not walk out.

 

[onehitwanda]

I suddenly feel like I'm in a flat-roofed pub in Enfield. It's... uncomfortable.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I suddenly feel like I'm in a flat-roofed pub in Enfield. It's... uncomfortable.

We are Millwall, we are Millwall, no-one likes us, we don't care...
(to the tune of Sailing)

We'll save the rousing singing of the classic ditty 'All North London is full of shit' for a pub nearer the New Den!

Just to clarify for the OP, the Premiership / Premier League is the top division of English football - you can't be in a division of the Premier league.

Below the Premiership you have the Champions league, League One and League Two (technically those 3 are the English Football League and thr Premiership is above them). Then you have non-league football below that, confusingly known as the National League...

Pre-1990s you had simply Divisions 1, 2, 3 and 4, above the Vauxhall Conference league, but similar principles of promotion and relegation applied.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

(but agree Palace have only been back up for a few years - and the local roads can't cope with the increased crowds! No, Google, I do not want to go anywhere near Selhurst Park on a match day after 11am...)

 

[Purple_Fronds]

https://www.premierleague.com/tables

Take your pick of 12 -17

They are all just making up the numbers

Yep Chelsea sucks

 

[Purple_Fronds]

We are Millwall, we are Millwall, no-one likes us, we don't care...
(to the tune of Sailing)

We'll save the rousing singing of the classic ditty 'All North London is full of shit' for a pub nearer the New Den!

Just to clarify for the OP, the Premiership / Premier League is the top division of English football - you can't be in a division of the Premier league.

Below the Premiership you have the Champions league, League One and League Two (technically those 3 are the English Football League and thr Premiership is above them). Then you have non-league football below that, confusingly known as the National League...

Pre-1990s you had simply Divisions 1, 2, 3 and 4, above the Vauxhall Conference league, but similar principles of promotion and relegation applied.

Always bringing the details. Supporting Millwall brings the masochism to new heights.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

Scenario. Need a Premier Leauge team that is (almost?) always in the upper division (MUST be in upper division in 2018-2019 for my story.) In my series, the culture has a thing where bar tabs are paid based on 'who your team is' IE if your friend's team is better this week, you pay the tab for both of you.

The catch is the team needs to be in the upper division consistently but mostly suck, but not suck so bad they ever are one of the bottom 3 teams that gets sent down into the minor leagues. IE the worst team always in the upper division.

The MC is getting bad advice on who to choose from a dickhead coworker. IE the MC will be stuck paying a ton of bar tabs. The MC is from the US and has no idea who is who in the Premier League. (He gets saved by a new friend and chooses one of the top teams on his advice.)

Here are consistent members of the premier league

Top Tier
Manchester City
Liverpool
Tottenham Hotspur
Arsenal

Second Tier
Manchester United
Chelsea

Third tier (lose plenty but stay in)
West Ham
Everton

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Always bringing the details. Supporting Millwall brings the masochism to new heights.

Heh. I only supported them when working in Bermondsey 20-30 years ago and it would have been very poor for my life expectancy if I'd said I supported anyone else!

Now I only mildly follow Palace so I know when not to go anywhere near the stadium, and if there will be violence round Fort Neef. Also a lovely Palace fan saved my bacon some years back when I was stranded outside LaGuardia airport (took 4 hours to get a bus to the nearest subway, thanks to roadworks, engineering works and traffic accidents...), fetching water, exchanging money, swapping food etc, so I've got a soft spot for them.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

Heh. I only supported them when working in Bermondsey 20-30 years ago and it would have been very poor for my life expectancy if I'd said I supported anyone else!

Now I only mildly follow Palace so I know when not to go anywhere near the stadium, and if there will be violence round Fort Neef. Also a lovely Palace fan saved my bacon some years back when I was stranded outside LaGuardia airport (took 4 hours to get a bus to the nearest subway, thanks to roadworks, engineering works and traffic accidents...), fetching water, exchanging money, swapping food etc, so I've got a soft spot for them.

Agreed on Palace, a friendly club, liked that it was the back drop for Ted Lasso. There’s something quintessentially European on how these clubs and their stadiums are so fully enmeshed in their home neighborhoods, something that although not completely alien in the US with the Red Sox and Cubs as two that stand out as neighborhood grounds never the less is a rarity. Luton really stands out in this way.

 

[onehitwanda]

Luton really stands out in this way.

This must be the only positive context in which these words will appear this way.

 

[Cagivagurl]

This must be the only positive context in which these words will appear this way.

Words usually associated with Luton... Perfect...
Perfectly bloody awful."