Need advice? Help? A beer?

[Weevil]

Well, I've decided to open a little bar here on the ol' General Board. See, I've noticed for a while that people are venting their personal problems on any old threads, well I've decided to do something about it.

No longer will the masses have to dish their problems to an uncaring public. No, no the broken hearted will be able to dish their blues to a friendly Barkeep who dishes advice like he dishes peanuts, salty or honey roasted.

I call my watering hole the Lit Match. So if you have a problem that you'd like the expert of life(That would be EBW) to sort out for you just saunter up to my bar, order a Becks and lay it on me Brother(Or sister I suppose, I'm probably not a big help with girly problems)

 

[Cheyenne]

Thanks for the offer, but mine would be "girlie" problems I guess.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

i'm bored... simple as that



get me drunk please... i might have some fun then, even though it's highly doubtful

 

[morninggirl5]

Thanks for the offer, but mine would be "girlie" problems I guess.

Mine too, maybe we should open a coffee bar for the girlie problems.

 

[Weevil]

Thanks for the offer, but mine would be "girlie" problems I guess.

Shucks, I'll have to hone my girly advice skills someday. Lay it on me.

 

[Weevil]

i'm bored... simple as that



get me drunk please... i might have some fun then, even though it's highly doubtful

Well, since it's my bar you can choose between Becks and Heineken

 

[Weevil]

Mine too, maybe we should open a coffee bar for the girlie problems.

Oh no. I said I wouldn't be great, not useless. I'm a bar that's open to problems of all kinds.

 

[Cheyenne]

Thanks, but I've learned the hard way on this board to not spill anything that you don't want to get comments from the world on. I think I'll keep my problems to myself.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

Well, since it's my bar you can choose between Becks and Heineken

i'll take the Heineken.... anything else at the bar? i would really like some hard liquor tonite

 

[Weevil]

Thanks, but I've learned the hard way on this board to not spill anything that you don't want to get comments from the world on. I think I'll keep my problems to myself.

You know, you may be right on that one. Still, though. Sometimes it helps to let loose.

Remember, I'm Irish. We take our problems and cram them down into a little ball, then we pour alcohol on it and make the pain go away

 

[Weevil]

i'll take the Heineken.... anything else at the bar? i would really like some hard liquor tonite

You consider Guiness a hard liquor?

 

[Weevil]

Well hot dammit!!!!!! I'm still going to help people.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

well... if you dont have the hard liquor... you dont have the hard liquor... i guess i can deal with the beer.. it'll just take more of it for me to get drunk



pass me a few more please

 

[Weevil]

*Slides a couple pint glasses down the bar, western styles!!!!!!!*


Whooops!!!!!!!!

*Glasses go too far, too fast and crash into the floor*

Oh shit! I'll have to find a mop!

*looks under bar, finds something great*

Hey willing!! I found a bottle of Smirnoff! You in?

 

[Willing and Unsure]

*pours EBW a glass and takes the bottle for herself*

of course i'm in... but i dont think one bottle of this stuff will be enough to get me drunk

 

[Weevil]

Hey!!! I don't drink when I'm on the job.

But don't worry, I also found a industrial sized case of factory second Peach Schnopps!!!!!!!!

 

[Morden]

<sits at the far end of the bar against the wall>

"Did someone say Guiness?"

 

[p_p_man]

pint of guiness please EBW...

...haven't got a problem yet but you'll be the first to hear about it when I do...

 

[Weevil]

Maybe but this isn't a Booze emporium. I'm here to help with problems, hot dammit!!!!

*Tosses Morden a Bottle*

Heads up Beeatch!

 

[Weevil]

Re: pint of guiness please EBW...

...haven't got a problem yet but you'll be the first to hear about it when I do...

Hot dammit!!! This isn't a beer drinkin' thread!!

Ahhh well you did say that you'll come to me with problems so it's a minor victory

*Tosses the man a bottle of Irish sludge*

 

[Willing and Unsure]

*looks at bottle in hand as it's almost empty*


peach schnopps? send it this way

 

[Weevil]

*Does slick, Tom Cruise-esque behind the back toss, throwing bottle into jukebox*

Hmmmmm, that didn't work

*Walks over to willing and hands her the bottle*

 

[Morden]

<catches the bottle and looks at it funny before drinking it>

"not bad"

<walks out and comes back in a minute with a steel keg and a tap. Goes behind the bar slaps it all down and nails the keg to the bar>

"Now there you go some real Guiness."

 

[Weevil]

Fuck you bitch! No outside alcohol allow.....Ehhh??? What do I care?

 

[p_p_man]

Hastily downs pint of Guimess...

...I've got a fight going on next door. Set 'em up again and I'll tell you all about it when I come back...

rushes out to Pretender Bush thread