Need advice guys or girls

[Newcummer37]

How do you approach a girl in public? Say a bookstore of the gym or a bar for example. What do you Say? How do you start a conversation with someone you don't know? How do you ask for her #? I'm terribly inexperienced at this.

 

[PlumpViolet]

How do you approach a girl in public? Say a bookstore of the gym or a bar for example. What do you Say? How do you start a conversation with someone you don't know? How do you ask for her #? I'm terribly inexperienced at this.

Go up to her and say hi... in a bar setting offer to buy her drink and assess whether she's interested in a bit of conversation. Asking one or two questions about her could help. A bit of humour always helps.

 

[hadruprider]

I think it depends on the venue. If a girl is on her own or with a female friend at a bar then you can offer her a drink and tell her she looks attractive or comment favorably on her dress.
But in a bookstore or art gallery you need to be a bit more subtle, talk/ask about books/art before trying to chat her up.

 

[Athalia]

How do you approach a girl in public? Say a bookstore of the gym or a bar for example. What do you Say? How do you start a conversation with someone you don't know? How do you ask for her #? I'm terribly inexperienced at this.

If it's a bookstore, ask her about the book she's looking for. Has she read much of that author, or that subject? Does she know about this other author, who writes in a similar vein?

If it's a gym, ask her how she selected that one, which other ones she's had experience with, and so on.

The bottom line is that you already have something in common by virtue of your being at the same place at the same time. Build on that. But keep it casual. Forget about phone numbers; if she wants to pursue a relationship, let her be the one to initiate it. Show her that you respect her space.

Good luck!

 

[Jada59]

Pay her a compliment or ask her a question. As another poster said, it depends on the situation. I often have guys ask me questions when I am in a store. Such as how to cook a certain vegetable, something about various cuts of meat. I've even had conversations about paper plates and cat litter. Look her in the eyes and smile as you do so.

If you pay her a compliment, make it sincere. One of my favorites to use on a guy is to lean in close, breathe in, smile and tell him that he smells good. Of course it helps if he is wearing cologne. Yum! But most men naturally smell good to me so this also works.

If there is a place nearby to buy her a coffee or ice cream or whatever (something inexpensive), offer to do that. If she is with a friend, invite the friend and pay for her too. You'll make extra points. Otherwise, you could just give her your phone number. If you are in a bar, the obvious choices would be to buy her a drink, ask her to dance, play pool, darts, whatever choices are available.

A never fail method for me is to tell the guy that we're going to dance. I don't give him a choice. I just take his hand and help him up. If he protests and says he doesn't know how, he still has no choice. Heh! I tell him that I'll teach him. Then if he truly is lousy at it, I just hold him close and sway back and forth. Doesn't matter if the song is slow or fast. At least he won't be looking the fool! Now this has worked for me when the guy uses this approach on me too. But I love to dance and I may not be typical. I can see some women getting upset if the guy comes on too strong.

 

[PuckIt]

The answers have been pretty interesting to me. Mainly because I've never been one to approach a woman I didn't know somehow, or at least have encountered a few times.

At the gym? Well, I was pretty well there to work out and didn't really notice just who else was there. And I pretty well assumed that they were there to work out more than get checked out too. I don't know, though. Poking around on the infernalnet, I see pics of gals who aren't sweaty taking selfies in "cute" workout outfits with weights and such in the background. So, maybe one of those is there cruising the meat market. But, pretty much if she can sling sweat three rows, I would probably assume that she wouldn't be looking for a hook up.

Bookstores... Again, I don't know. For me, typically, when I was in a bookstore, I was there for my print fix. And odds were I wasn't going to notice anyone I wasn't having to work around to reach the books I wanted. I guess if I'd bumped into her four or five times there, or recognized her from somewhere else, I would say hello.

Bars and clubs... yeah, generally as a rule, I pretty much figure that there everybody is around in order to see and be seen and generally have a good time.

But, I guess I'm a bit strange. I've always figured it just made sense to start off as I meant to go on. So, it didn't make a whole lot of sense to me for me to figure out some cute opening line. I would just say, "Hello." Wait for a response. If it was anything but, "Get lost" or some variation, I would ask her name.

I never really considered that I might need an excuse to talk to her, and didn't bother to think one up unless she asked. In which case, I just told the truth. I thought she looked interesting and was curious about her.

Also, as a general rule of thumb, I tended to ask more questions than I gave information about me (as difficult as that might be to believe from my posts). And, yeah, a few times I got the "Are you writing a book or something?"

(Oh, if they only knew...)

But, then I learned my pick-up skills from my grandfather when I would be dragged along to senior citizens dances. He never bothered to talk to them at all. He would just walk out on the dance floor, point at who he wanted and crook a finger. And they would get up and join him. Obviously, I don't know that it always worked, and I never saw him go home with anybody except me and Dad, but...

 

[CucumberLemonade]

How do you approach a girl in public? Say a bookstore of the gym or a bar for example. What do you Say? How do you start a conversation with someone you don't know? How do you ask for her #? I'm terribly inexperienced at this.

Go and say hi and depending on the venue I guess ask about something related to the venue/situation at hand (make it short and simple) just to start up a conversation.

You'll notice if she is interested by her responses, maybe don't play over confidently and don't be arrogant in any case.

Good luck, don't forget to smile with your eyes and be genuine.