NEdd some help Confused

[Darkhorse145]

NEed some help Confused

Ive been burned pretty bad by my last few gf's mostly because of other guys so i have little trust in Girls and a low self confidence about sex among other things. My new girl has told me a few things and they have kind of got me feeling in adequite not up to her level sexually multiple partners, Partners of other races and many more so it has me feeling a little jealous and confused on how the best way to get rid of this feeling of not being equal to her sexually I would really appreciate any reply

 

[Bobmi357]

Both....

Your poll answers are the ones you need.

BOTH OF THEM.

 

[Darkhorse145]

I sort of figured this that is why I put them but I need help figuring out how to go about it I thank you for your reply though

 

[soapstar]

I think counselling could be a good option for you to consider (and Im not normally a big fan of this). If you leave these sorts of feelings unresolved they have a nasty habit of continually rearing their ugly heads and biting you on the ass.

How awful to be in a relationship with someone and be too afraid to trust. If you dont manage to resolve these issues I suspect they will taint every future relationship you embark on, and that would be sad.

 

[Noor]

Re: NEed some help Confused

Ive been burned pretty bad by my last few gf's mostly because of other guys so i have little trust in Girls and a low self confidence about sex among other things. My new girl has told me a few things and they have kind of got me feeling in adequite not up to her level sexually multiple partners, Partners of other races and many more so it has me feeling a little jealous and confused on how the best way to get rid of this feeling of not being equal to her sexually I would really appreciate any reply

You need to realize that she is with you because she wants to be. It doesn't matter who or what came before. Partners of other races are irrelevant, as are multiple partners. Just tell her you have less experience. Good lovers pay attention to their partners wants and needs, are caring and creative, experience can help but quantity does not nessicarily mean quality.

I understand having little trust after being hurt, that is sort of where I am now, not wanting to let anyone new into my life, but it doesn't effect how I look at myself, I did nothing to deserve having my trust abused, and I haven't lost any of my sexual confidence.

Don't look at someone elses bad behavior as a reflection on you.
Maybe you should talk to a therapist about the bad experinces that decreased your confidence so you can be stronger in the future.

 

[Darkhorse145]

I thank you all for your replies so far and the few I have gotten are helping me to realize that she is with me because she wants to be and that is the only reason I will take the counceling thing to heart and look into it I think that might help to Keep the replies coming they are helping me more than I realized they would

 

[Lipstick]

Well, I'm not quite with the mainstream here.

First off, you are fine the way you are. Your new gf, however, isn't if she makes you feel anything but wonderful and loveable when you're with her. No amount of counseling is going to help that. You're always going to wonder if she's saying things because the counsellor said to or because she means them.

Secondly, get a new gf. There are lots of girls out there. Keep shopping. It's been my experience, by the way, that when I'm NOT looking, I find more bfs than when I am!

So give yourself a break. Someone is ALWAYS going to be more experienced than you are. The people you meet, however, don't have to throw it in your face that they are.

Go out, have fun, and enjoy!

 

[BirdsWife]

Someone is ALWAYS going to be more experienced than you are. The people you meet, however, don't have to throw it in your face that they are.

I think it is a little presumptive to say that his girlfriend is throwing it in his face. He didn't really explain the circumstances surrounding these revelations. Perhaps he was the one who asked her about her past experiences. If so, your advice would be punishing her for being honest.

And second, no one can make another person feel wonderful, loveable, or anything else. That has to come from inside the individual. All the "I love you"s in the world won't make a bit of difference if a person doesn't feel they deserve to be loved and a lifetime of reassurances won't matter in a relationship where one partner is determine to be jealous.

 

[Darkhorse145]

Hey I have been gone for a few days i got to see my GF this weekend and we talked a little about this and it seemed to help.

Just so everyone knows It was a great weekend after the talk and I learned a few more things about her and I'm not that confused anymore it really helped me

Especially when she told me she was with me for me

This whole thing came up because we said one night that we would be totally honest about our past she just didn't know that honesty can hurt to

But I would rather know than it be a nasty secret that comes up later I thank everybody for their help and I will keep you posted