Tzara
Continental
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2005
- Posts
- 7,782
OK. Yesterday's poem was a cropped villanelle in anapestic meter. My poem for today is one that is, if anything, even more of an oddity—one composed in counted verse. What is counted verse? Paul Hoover comments: "Counted verse operates by the number of words rather than the number of syllables and stresses to the line. It is not primarily syllabic and accentual, though it obviously has those features. As Dana Gioia suggested in conversation, it reminds us that here are two kinds of lines, the visual and the aural. Often the appearance of a poem on the page is the first information we have of it." This example is from May Swenson's 1967 collection "Half Sun Half Sleep."
Four-Word Lines
May Swenson
Your eyes are just
like bees, and I
feel like a flower.
Their brown power makes
a breeze go over
my skin. When your
lashes ride down and
rise like brown bees'
legs, your pronged gaze
makes my eyes gauze.
I wish we were
in some shade and
no swarm of other
eyes to know that
I'm a flower breathing
bare, laid open to
your bees' warm stare.
I'd let you wade
in me and seize
with your eager brown
bees' power a sweet
glistening at my core.
Source: Collected Poems (2013)
The poem employs clearly erotic imagery that seems feminine in nature (bees, flowers, the "sweet / glistening at my core"), which is hardly surprising as Swenson was gay. The extensive use of rhyme and slant rhyme give it a musicality that helps hold the poem together. Curiously, the slightly herky-jerky rhythms imposed by the counted metrics give the poem a kind of hesitant feeling, as if the poet is confessing her love without being completely sure that the person she is confessing it to shares her feelings.
I've tried writing counted verse myself without much success, probably in part because I don't understand the technique enough. It's kind of fun to try, though, and certainly gives a poem a very different feel—like free verse with the slightest possible formal structure.
Four-Word Lines
May Swenson
Your eyes are just
like bees, and I
feel like a flower.
Their brown power makes
a breeze go over
my skin. When your
lashes ride down and
rise like brown bees'
legs, your pronged gaze
makes my eyes gauze.
I wish we were
in some shade and
no swarm of other
eyes to know that
I'm a flower breathing
bare, laid open to
your bees' warm stare.
I'd let you wade
in me and seize
with your eager brown
bees' power a sweet
glistening at my core.
Source: Collected Poems (2013)
I've tried writing counted verse myself without much success, probably in part because I don't understand the technique enough. It's kind of fun to try, though, and certainly gives a poem a very different feel—like free verse with the slightest possible formal structure.