N.C. Church: Tom Brady headed for Hell

[Tarakin]

Tom Brady's sluggish start isn't his biggest problem, a North Carolina church says. It's his destination in the afterlife.

The Amazing Grace Baptist Church put Brady on a list of athletes it claims are headed to Hell for their misdeeds among the mortals.

Cardinals QB Matt Leinart and former NFL player Adam Archuleta -- currently with the UFL's Las Vegas Locos -- join Brady on the list. Also on there: NASCAR's Richard Petty and Joakim Noah of the Chicago Bulls.

The church's website appeared to have crashed on Friday. But here's what it said of Brady, via NESN:

"Tom Brady has an unwed child, but it's okay because he wins Super Bowls. Tom Brady is teaching us to have sex outside of marriage, to commit fornication, don't marry and do the right thing, don't take responsibility for your actions, have a good time no matter who you hurt in this world, go from sex partner to sex partner, and it's okay because of who I am. How many of you dad's (sic) cheer on Tom in the Super Bowl while your kids are watching?"

Of Leinart, the church said:

"He is teaching teenagers not to save themselves for their spouse, but to live it up because you only live life once. Is Matt your idol?"

And of Archuleta:

"Engaged to a Playboy Playmate Jennifer Walcott. They have one son. This is called fornication, and we all know what their son is called, the same thing the Bible calls him."

There was no response from Brady to his prognosis in the afterlife on Friday. Don't expect it to be addressed after the Patriots play the Titans on Sunday. -- Sean Leahy

Here is the original

Comments?

 

[jomar]

The website crashed because the pastor was committing fornication with the alter boy.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Tom Brady is only 32 years old, so I would expect his children to be unwed. Most people don't get married until their parents are 40 or older.

ETA: Tom Brady isn't teaching me anything. I had sex outside of marriage before he was even born. As for Archuleta, I would gladly fornicate with that Playboy model if he changes his mind. Hell actually seems like a more interesting place than the option.

 

[cloudy]

Those who live in glass houses really shouldn't throw stones. Unless that pastor is perfect, he'd probably be better off worrying about the mote in his own eye.

 

[Boota]

If there is a Hell and Tom Brady would be going there it would be more likely for cheating under Belichick. I hate having to side with Brady on anything, but fucking church people should dry up and blow away.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

I've got a downer on Jewish and Muslim believers who think that eating pork is some kind of anti-god thing rather than sensible food hygiene in the desert 2 millenia ago.

But the crazy Christian fundies complete block on marriage being a secular not a God-given institution defies belief. The basic concept is a preservation of inheritance rights and protection of property. Were Adam and Eve married? So the rest of humanity are bastards.

Everyone should be able to form legal civil partnerships and religious guys can have a separate church blessing. In a secular society, can't we put the fundies, Christian, Jewish or Muslim, in the bad children's corner and just get on with freedom and democracy.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Jesus crapeater... is this asshole back AGAIN?

He must be trying to drum up attendance for his scheduled book burning:

North Carolina church to burn ‘Satan’s books,’ including works of Mother Teresa​

By Kathleen Miller
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009 -- 11:50 am

A Baptist Church near Asheville, N.C., is hosting a "Halloween book burning" to purge the area of "Satan's" works, which include all non-King James versions of the Bible, popular books by many religious authors and even country music.

The website for the Amazing Grace Baptist Church in Canton, N.C., says there are "scriptural bases" for the book burning. The site quotes Acts 19:18-20: "And many that believed, came and confessed and shewed their deeds. Many of them also which used curious arts, brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed."

Church leaders deem Good News for Modern Man, the Evidence Bible, the New International Version Bible, the Green Bible and the Message Bible, as well as at least seven other versions of the Bible as "Satan's Bibles," according to the website. Attendees will also set fire to "Satan's popular books" such as the work of "heretics" including the Pope, Mother Teresa, Billy Graham and Rick Warren.

"I believe the King James version is God's preserved, inspired, inerrant and infallible word of God," Pastor Marc Grizzard told a local news station of his 14-member parish.

Story continues below...
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Grizzard's parish website explains that the Bible is the "final authority concerning all matters of faith and practice," for Amazing Grace Baptist Church. In the Parish doctrinal statement, Grizzard expounds that "the Scriptures shall be interpreted according to their normal grammatical-historical meaning, and all issues of interpretation and meaning shall be determined by the preacher."

The event also seeks to destroy "Satan's music" which includes every genre from country,rap and rock to "soft and easy" and "Southern Gospel" and" contemporary Christian."

David Lynch, a resident of nearby Asheville, N.C., told Raw Story "it's a little disconcerting how close this is to my home."

"They are burning so much stuff I've dubbed them the hypocritical Christian Taliban," Lynch said in a phone interview with Raw Story. "Just the scope of all the information they want to destroy is pretty disturbing."

Church leaders did not respond to Raw Story's requests for comment, but the website notes they will be providing "bar-b-que chicken, fried chicken and all the sides" at the book burning.

Link to story

P.S. and Mother Teresa was SUCH a satanic bitch, wasn't she!!! If there really is a god I expect this asshat to get hit by lighting PRONTO!

 

[R. Richard]

So, THAT'S what's causing the slight hitch in Brady's throwing motion. AHA!

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Does this mean the Super Bowl will be held in Hell this year?

 

[kromen]

Does this mean the Super Bowl will be held in Hell this year?

Well, It's always in a warm climate.

 

[Boxlicker101]

If there is a Hell and Tom Brady would be going there it would be more likely for cheating under Belichick. I hate having to side with Brady on anything, but fucking church people should dry up and blow away.

I heartily agree with y9our last statement, but I do have some question about the first. Is there anything in the Ten Commandments about cheating in a football game?

 

[Boxlicker101]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenny_Jackson
Does this mean the Super Bowl will be held in Hell this year?

Well, It's always in a warm climate.

Not always. One year it was held in Detroit.

 

[Handley_Page]

The site quotes Acts 19:18-20: "And many that believed, came and confessed and shewed their deeds. Many of them also which used curious arts, brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed."



Not bad; at a time when there were no such things as books.
Ye gods, do such people really believe this crap ?

 

[Boota]

I heartily agree with y9our last statement, but I do have some question about the first. Is there anything in the Ten Commandments about cheating in a football game?

No, there isn't. But I consider that, personally, a much worse thing than having children out of wedlock.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

The site quotes Acts 19:18-20: "And many that believed, came and confessed and shewed their deeds. Many of them also which used curious arts, brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed."



Not bad; at a time when there were no such things as books.
Ye gods, do such people really believe this crap ?

Yes there were. They were scrolls rather than codices, which is the precise term for a bound set of pages, but they had 'books'. After all, this was the First Century, you know.

 

[Boxlicker101]

No, there isn't. But I consider that, personally, a much worse thing than having children out of wedlock.

So do I, as long as the fathers acknowledge the children and provide support when needed.