My Zombie Shelter (open to everyone)

[gearhead73]

I headed back into the house and up the stairs. I didn't see her in the shower or the bedroom, and eve though it was irrational, a bit of panic shot through me. I went back downstairs and went to the kitchen, still not finding her. I made it to the living room, and saw her sitting in a chair by the window thumbing through a book.

I crossed the room and stood beside the chair. I didn't see her raise her head to look at me, but I know she knew I was there. I took a knee beside her and tried to discern how she was feeling. I didn't know what to say, or if I should say anything, but kneeling here, beside where she sat, I knew I felt better just being near her.

"Hey, you ok?" I said a little nervously. "I missed you when I woke up, and then when I saw you balled up in the shower, I thought...I...I thought maybe you regretted...being with me."

 

[prettyserpentine]

I closed my book and looked at him. His hand rested on the arm of my chair and I set my hand on top of it, running my thumb along his knuckles. I looked into his eyes, and over his face, and I lifted my hands tracing my fingers over the stubble on his cheek.

"No, I don't regret it," I smiled at him wistfully. "It's just..." I didn't know what to say so I just smiled again. I blinked away tears. "I'm alright, don't worry. It's just a lot to take in, all the changes."

I lowered my hand onto the book and drummed my fingers against it lazily, my gaze falling onto the title: The Scarlet Letter. The irony wasn't lost on me. A heroine, her husband lost, bearing a child in an adulterous liaison. I felt a little like I had a red-hot 'A' over my heart. The first man I had been with since my husband.

"Was it... Was I..." I shook my head. Asking him how I had been was the stupidest thing I could do, I crossed my legs, fiddling with the end of my braid. "Never mind. Stupid question." I smiled at him awkwardly.

 

[gearhead73]

I grinned a bit at her awkwardness. I knew what she was going to ask, and it took everything within in me not to shout to the rooftops how amazing it had been.

"It's not stupid Pandora, and if you want know...I thought it...no you were amazing. I haven't been with anyone since Fiona. I never thought that I deserved to be, after what I did when she died. But up there...with you...was the first time I have felt anything other than anger and self loathing in as long as I can remember."

I shifted around so that I was kneeling in front of her. She had her eyes pointed down at the book that she was holding.

"Pandora, please look at me. Tell me what you are thinking, please."

I laid my hand on top of hers. I could see by the furrow in her brow, that she was in some kind of turmoil. I just hoped that she didn't have second thoughts about being with me.

 

[prettyserpentine]

I sighed, splaying my hand out against the leather of the book sleeve.

"It's nothing. I was just thinking about Joel." I immediately felt guilty, even saying his name. "I don't want you to think bad of me for thinking about him, but I can't help it." I looked up at him sadly. "It just makes me a little sad, the past, and stuff. But us...-" I caught myself. Maybe he didn't want an 'us' fiasco. "It didn't make me sad. I don't regret it. I just sometimes miss my old life."

I wiped my hand across my eyes. God, woman. Don't start weeping. "I just felt good to have someone, I don't know, close..."

 

[gearhead73]

I thought about what she said and started to feel a bit of guilt myself. It wasn't that I felt that I was cheating on Fiona, it was that I never took into account Pan's way more recent loss of her husband. It had been a few years since I had lost my wife and I had spent those full of anger and guilt. However Pan, had only lost her husband and baby girl when the virus started spreading.

"I know what you mean. It was nice to finally not feel so alone."

I knew what I wanted to say, that it was much more than just a diversion, but seeing how she felt, I thought it would be cruel to make it into more than what she thought it was.

"I don't regret it either. It meant a lot to me, maybe more than..." I didn't know if I should finish the thought.

I leaned up and kissed her on the cheek. "You are a good person Pandora. I am glad that we met"

 

[prettyserpentine]

It meant a lot to me. Maybe more than...

My heart leapt, and then skidded to a halt as he trailed off, saying about how I was a good person and then I relished the feeling of how it felt to feel like I'd been friendzoned. He said he was glad he met me. I snapped the book shut loudly before he did the "You're such a good friend" line.

I stood up, smiling sharply at him as he turned on the spot where he knelt. "Well, I'm glad I met you too," I said curtly. "Now, you'll have to excuse me. I should really go out and do some target practice. Don't want to lose my swing." I could barely look at him as I strode briskly to the door, picking up my devil bat as I went.

I slammed the door as I hoofed outside and off into the direction of the barn, where I lifted some rope and a log. I bound the rope around the log and threw the other end of it over a branch on the tree by the lake. It would do for target practice. It'd be like swingball, I thought, as I pushed it with my hand, and started swinging the bat at it.

Thwack!! The crack of the sound rang out and I lifted my foot, wrenching the bat off the log with a grunt. The log swung wildly, and I lifted the bat over my shoulder again, swinging a second time and missing. Third, fourth, misses. I was about to lose my temper, my fingers flexing around the handle as I swung again, that satisfying crack ringing out again, accompanied by my angry yell.

 

[gearhead73]

"Well, I'm glad I met you too," she said with that familiar venom.

It was strange, I actually felt more comfortable when she was bitchy, than things got all touchy feely.

"Now, you'll have to excuse me. I should really go out and do some target practice. Don't want to lose my swing." she barked before stalking off slamming the door behind her.

I knew that this was one of those defining moments. The moment where you decide what would be the better and smarter choice. I could leave her alone to work shit out on her own, or I could ask her once again what particular bug had flow up her ass this time. In typical fashion I chose option "B" and stood, then kicked the chair she had been sitting in against the wall.

I stalked out the door and headed toward the yelling to find her beating the shit out of some defenseless piece of wood she hanging by rope from a tree. About every third swing she would miss as it swung by, and that only seemed to make her madder.

"What the fuck did I do wrong this time Pan?" I shouted. "I never know what I can or can't say to you without you getting all Kathy Bates from Misery on me. I really want to find a way to be with you, but I am afraid the solution is outside the scope of a simple man like myself!"

She seemed so pissed off about something, and in typical fashion, I didn't have a clue what.

"Talk to me goddamit!" I yelled trying to get her to at least take a breath.

 

[prettyserpentine]

Talk to me, goddammit!

I swung the bat as hard as I could, breaking part of the log off in splinters and feeling a painful twinge in my elbow.

"Fuck you, asshole!” I screamed at him. The bat was stuck in the log, swinging strangely. It looked ridiculous. "Simple man?! That's an understatement! It's been two days!! You can't want to be with someone like me in two days..." I was losing my stride, my voice was dropping and the tears were right behind the veil. I struggled to hold onto the anger. It was anger that had kept me going this far. Joel. I thought about Joel. I imagined it was him in front of me. Close your eyes, baby...

"You son of a bitch!" I squeezed my eyes closed as the tears started to pour down my face. "You'll leave... In this day and age.... With everything...that's happening..." I had seen too many people kill themselves rather than take a footstep forward. I grabbed the handle of the bat and pulled but it was stuck in the log pretty deep. I probably looked like a child as I fought with it, eventually shoving it away from myself and sobbing "I am so fucking tired of the alone..." I sat down on the edge of the lake and cried. "You selfish asshole, you selfish, selfish asshole... It isn't all about what you want..."

I put my head in my hands and let my grief, my confusion, my guilt, escape.

 

[gearhead73]

"The for once fucking tell me what you want!" I shouted as she sat there. "You fucking sulk around here like you are the only one who knows what it's like to hurt, to lose someone, to wonder why you were left here to rot and suffer. You think you are the only one who wonders why? Why did they have to be the ones? Why couldn't have been me? Why hasn't someone just put me out of my own and everybody else's misery."

I was livid, and not just at her. I was fucking tired of hurting, and trying. Things were harder but so much simpler before she stumbled out of the goddamned weeds towards me.

"I can't promise that I won't die, or even that you won't fucking kill me! I can fucking tell you this though, all the crying and bitching about being tired of the alone sounds pretty fucked up when I am right here trying to be a part of your life. I may be simple, even stupid by some standards, but I am fucking here! If you don't want me than fine, but don't fucking whine and bitch about how hard it is. My wife and baby were taken from me by somebody too!"

I turned to see what was left of the log she had been hitting flailing with her bat stuck in it. I drew the Kimber, racked the slide and emptied the magazine into it.

"BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!" that shot's rang out in the darkness turning the log into splinters and sending her bat to the ground. I walked over and picked it up and then dropped it on the ground beside her. I holstered my pistol and turned and headed to the guard tower.

 

[prettyserpentine]

I was so furious that I started to tremble, and in that moment he pulled out his handgun and unloaded it Into my target log. The sound of the shots made me scream in fright. He was so furious, and the extent of his temper was scary. Not to mention the fact he was a gun-crazy hick. What had I done? I looked at the pieces of the log as it hung pathetically from the tree. I couldn't see Mike or his new friend. Then I noticed myself shaking. I wasn't sure if it was rage or fear but I really prayed I could just erase what had happened.

Part of me wished I could sit down and write him a note. I was always better writing things down than verbalising them. I looked at the direction he had gone; the tower. It was his own little space. I sighed an sat down with my bat rested between my legs, and Mara's little backpack by my side. I pulled the stuffed bear out.

"Alright Bear. It's just you and me now." I pulled out he other things from the bag. The scrapbook. Our wedding rings. I held the two golden bands in my palm and looked at then. I thought of the promises we had made. And how they had all been broken when he told me to close my eyes. I slid my ring on and it sat loosely on my finger. I smiled. I had lost so much weight that it didn't fit me. I had changed so much that Joel's memory didn't fit me. I took it off and slipped both of them into my pocket.

I left the bear by the lake, lifted my devil bat as he called it, and went to the kitchen. Whoever had set this place up had left a good array of knives there. I got one, grabbed my long hair at the nape of my neck, and sliced the knife through it with ease. I smiled to my reflection in the window. She had short, choppy black hair, pale face and shining green eyes.

"No honey." I smirked. "You don't look thirty at all." I winked at myself, the survivor. I could do this. I strode out to the lake again. The knife, my new friend, sheathed at my side. The bat, my old friend, hanging at the other side. I lifted the backpack and shoved the bear and scrapbook back inside, and stashed them at the top of the bookcase. Then I plaited my rings into the strand of my hair.

I buried the braid and rings, it felt kind of like a ritual. I didn't mark it, I just let nature tramp over it. That was my final goodbye to Joel, to our marriage. I let Mara's things stay where they were. I couldn't let her go yet.

I felt lighter. But I knew I'd have to deal with Randy sooner or later. Too much of me wanted him sooner. I looked up at the tower.

 

[gearhead73]

I stomped back to the stairwell and headed straight to may haven at the top. I saw the pillow lying there and kicked it has hard as i could, bursting it and sending little white feathers to flight all around me.

"Perfect!" I yelled to no one. Just another in a long list of fuck you's I had experienced in the last couple of days.

I grabbed the Kimber and released the empty magazine, putting it in my pocket before grabbing my bag and laying it on the chair. I opened the clasp and dug around until I found my fresh one and after a quick tap to seat the cartriges correctly, I slid it into the well and released the slide. I had always like that sound, the harsh slapping of metal on metal as it went into battery. I liked the finality, the way it put an exclaimation point on things. When that slide closed, all of the touchy-feely shit that I was never good at was over, and it was time to get back down to business.

I holstered the pistol and took up the AR10. I made sure that the front lens of the scope was clean and did a quick function test. Once that was done I slid the pack to the floor and took a seat facing the wall. My heart was still beating faster than normal and my breathing was still a bit heavy, but now, alone in the solace of my refuge, time started to catch up to me.

I thought about Fiona, and Ethan. I imagined what we would be doing right now if things had went differently. Would there have still been an outbreak? Did her leaving me somehow set forth a chain of events, that led to the demise of humanity? I thought about Little League and Cub Scouts. I thought about birthday parties and dates with my wife. All of the things that I had never gotten to experience played like home movie in my head. I could feel tears start to form as the realization that happiness like that was never meant for me. I was destined to be alone and angry, living a life of violence and survival.

Eventually my thoughts turned to Pan. The fights, the pain, the attempts to kill one another. I remebered the tenderness of her touch and the heat of her kiss. I remembered the way that just for a moment, she looked at me like I was her only one. Like I was the man that she could look to for strength and safety. Yet here I sat again, alone, sad, and praying for an end to the never ending stream of memories that served only to torture me further.

I was weeping openly now. If I could have been able to look at myself I would have called myself a bitch, and kicked me in the balls. I hated feeling like this, I hated feeling. Things were so much simpler when it was just me. I thought about how I could go back to that, but there was no way to ever go back. You can't unring a bell, or unsmell a flower.You can't unsee a sunset or unfeel the passion flowing from the touch of your lover. Once you have tasted something good and pure you can never forget it, it's with you forever as a painful memory of what was and may never be again. The only escape from the constant reminders, was death.

I sat the butt of my rifle on the floor and placed the barrel under my chin. Just a quick squeez and it would all be over. I was just six and a half pounds away form stopping the hurt, stopping the memories, stopping the fear of being alone forever. I placed my thumb and the trigger and hoped that I would see Fiona and my son for just a moment before I was ushered to the forever that awaited me; the destiny I deserved, and now prayed for.

 

[prettyserpentine]

I climbed the stairs and could hear Randy crying. It had been a couple of hours since he had melted down at me by the lake. I was pretty sure that he had been over thinking things. I reckoned he must be feeling pretty bad. I felt awful for him. I took the steps two at a time and slid against the wall when I reached the top and saw him.

My heart stopped.

He was sitting in the chair, the rifle pointed at his chin, his finger on the trigger. My stomach lurched and my knees buckled. I stood there, numb with horror. His cheeks were stained with tears, his eyes squeezed shut as he sobbed. If he pulled that trigger, he was going to blow the top of his head off.

So I moved.

Slowly and silently, to his side. I put one hand around his shoulders, the other around his hand that held the gun. And I laid my cheek against his head, right in the firing line. I couldn't let him do this. I just let him cry for a moment, before I spoke quietly.

"If we pull the trigger, we won't ever see each other again," I whispered. I kissed his forehead. "And we still have so far to go, Randy." I moved my hand from his shoulder to smooth his hair back. "The hurt will fade, just like everything does. And there's still so much room left in the world, to make memories." I leaned my cheek against his forehead, weaving my body to sit against the arm of his chair, my legs resting against his right thigh.

"You said we have to go out fighting. Not like this. If we don't at least go out fighting each other, or the walkers, it isn't worth it." I still held his gun-hand. He was shaking. Broken. Just like me. I smiled against his forehead. "Don't let grief make you a prisoner. People who survive are always free. Just like you and me. Just like the mountaineers." I kissed his temple. "Please don't stop climbing, Randy... We aren't there yet."

 

[gearhead73]

"I'm tired of fighting. That is all we do is fight and hurt each other. We have only been around each other going on the third day and look at us."

I moved my head trying to look her in the eye. She needed to see that this was me, just me. Not the Randy that has the smart-assed comebacks, not the guy that makes his point with his weapons, just the man that has lost everything that ever meant anything, including her.

"I know you wanted to be sensible. That what we did, was just a way to find comfort, but I can't do that, I never could. You told me that I scare you, but that sometimes you could see what was in my heart, well here it is, on display."

My tears had started to slow and I removed my thumb from the trigger. There was no way I wanted to risk her getting hurt as a result of a decision I had made, again.

"I don't know why it is so hard for me to do the right things or say the right things. I have tried giving you what you want, but I am so confused. We constantly keep going back and forth, we are hot and cold and I get so frustrated that I can't see straight and you end up getting hurt."

I pulled the gun away from my chin and turned my head to look at her.

I have never wanted to hurt you, I swear. If you aren't in a place that you can be with me, I understand, and I will wait. But please, please don't shut me out. I have lost everyone that has ever meant anything to me. I am so tired of fighting, and I don't want to live on my own anymore.
You've shown me a glimpse, a tiny snapshot of what life could still be like, even now. I can't go back to not knowing, and I would rather end it, then have to survive without it, without you."

 

[prettyserpentine]

I frowned, pulling the gun away from him and letting it slide to the floor. I put my arms around him, resting my head on his shoulder, and his head on mine.

"No person is worth that. No lover, no husband or wife. For some reason, we made it through the outbreak, and we are still making it through. We found each other, and we are just trying to figure it out." I settled my lips against his jugular, feeling the pulse there.

"It's okay. It's okay not to know what to do. It's okay to get confused and scared. But it's not okay to try and take the top of your head off. I mean, what am I supposed to do after I clean your brains off the ceiling. Who am I going to talk to? Or fight with?"

This was a real serious conversation we were having here. A widow and a widower, taking healing poultices from the other one's heartache. It would have been beautiful if it wasn't so sad.

"It's been a couple of days. And it's pretty extenuating circumstances. But it's okay. You need to just relax, baby. And I'll take your guns off of you if you are going to be a risk. I like the top of your head, I don't want it all over the wall."

I looked down at him, the sadness evident there in both of our eyes. I could see myself in his watery gaze. My new hair looked kind of spunky. I smiled at him. "You can't leave me..." I lifted his face with my hands and kissed him, feeling the wet of his cheeks against my own.

 

[gearhead73]

Her lips covered mine and at once, I felt...calm, like coming home after a long and tiring time away. The words "You can't leave me..." echoed in my head as we melted into the kiss.

I moved my arms around her and waist and under her legs and slid her from the arm of the chair to my lap, before wrapping them around her in a tight embrace. I had forgotten the sadness, the loneliness, the pain that had accompanied me up here tonight. Those feeling had disappeared the moment our lips touched and been replaced with new ones of hope and optimism.

I broke the kiss and looked into those emerald green eye that were peering into mine.

"I won't leave you Pandora, as long as you want me, I will be here. I promise."

I reached up to lace my fingers into her long black hair noticing for the first time that is was dramatically shorter.

"A new hair do?"

 

[prettyserpentine]

As his hands tangled in my hair, I tipped my head back and groaned. I loved the feeling of hands in my hair.

"Mmmmm yes, figured at least walkers can't grab this way." I arched my body. "You should stop that. We were having a nice, stable conversation..." I dug my hands into the muscles of his shoulders. All the emotional craziness was just doing a number on me.

 

[gearhead73]

Her head was leaned back and her neck exposed. Her white skin was so inviting and after all of the emotion of the last little while, I longed to be next to her.

I leaned forward and placed my lips at the base of her neck, "We have plenty of time to talk..."

I sucked and nipped at her neck, working up to her chin on the way to lose lips that I longed to have touching mine.

"Unless you are really in the mood..." I kissed the edge of her lips, and the tip of her nose. "...for conversation."

 

[prettyserpentine]

I laughed youthfully and playfully pushed him back. "Maybe you ought to stop pestering me and go hook up those solar panels. Honestly, you have a one track mind." I pulled myself off his knee and looked out at the compound. "It might rain," I said as I looked at the dark clouds in the east. I cast my eye beyond the front gate.

I folded my arms. "It feels strange, being safe. It's weird. I kind of find it hard to relax, you know?" I glanced over my shoulder at Randy. "I keep wondering how many are out there, wandering around, moaning." I shuddered. "I remember when I left the house, after I lost Joel and Mara. One of the first walkers I saw was a student from one of my English classes. He was only nineteen, couldn't have been dead more than a couple of days. He still looked alive. I think his name was Brendan, or something. He just shambled towards me, arms out and groaning. He had a real love for the Ancient Roman literature - always did really well on those essays. God rest him."

I reached a hand up and ruffled it through my short cropped hair. "I ran from him at first. Then after an hour or so I went back. Guess you could say the first two walkers I got were kids." I hugged my arms around myself and stared grimly out beyond the gate. "What about you? Do you remember your first?" I asked, not even looking around.

 

[gearhead73]

I thought about it for a minute. It had been so long ago and I was so hell bent on revenge, that I just took out anything that was in my way.

"Harold Cranston, he was the first. He was our next dorr neighbor and a real asshole. He had this little fucking rat dog that used to come over and shit in my yard. I don't know how many times I told that dickhead to put a leash on it, but he never did."

I got up from the chair and bent to pick my rifle off of the floor. I walked over and leaned it against the wall in the corner. I walked to Pan, and put my arms around her looking out over the fields that surrounded us. I placed a light kiss on her newly exposed neck before continuing.

"I had been locked in the house for two days preparing to go after Raul. When I finally had all the shit I wanted packed, I walked out the back door wanting to walk through the backyards to get out of the neighborhood. I opened the door and there was that fucking little dog and Harold, all grey, and moaning. He actually had a leash in his hand, he was just standing there. He saw me and started toward me, and I just froze. I had never shot anyone...or anything like that before and he had a hand on me before I could react. I pushed him away but he just kept coming, and finally, I pulled my pistol and shot him. When he dropped, that little fucking dog took off from the noise and I just stood there, trying to grasp what I had done. It got easier after that."

 

[prettyserpentine]

I leaned back against him, looking out across the landscape as he held me in his arms. He was warm, and I found myself leaning back without worrying he wouldn't be there. It was odd, but at the same time, it felt good. When he kissed me on the neck, I turned around and smiled at him, leaning my forehead against his temple.

"You killed your neighbour? I'd have loved to have done that. Old lady Boomer beside us used to make my life hell. When I was pregnant with Mara, she used to ask us if we would want to move to a bigger place. Then when she was born, she would complain the baby made too much noise." I shook my head. "Old bitch."

I glanced out at the front gate. "Didn't Mike say there's a town close to here? What about a run out to get supplies?” I glanced around at Randy. I half expected him to shoot down my idea.

 

[gearhead73]

I thought about it for a minute. There were still plenty of supplies here to keep us going, but the list of things that we had compiled, definitely called for more than one trip. We needed a truck and there had to be one somewhere that I could at least scope out and see what I would need to get it running.

"You know, would be good to get out and have a look around I guess. I need to get a truck and if there is a parts store in town we can look for a battery and tools there. Keys won't be that big of a problem, and I only have one magazine of .45 cal left."

I leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss below her ear.

"You in the mood for a walk with me? Maybe we can pick you up a cute pistol, you know, in case the devil bat breaks. Let me grab my pack, and we can head out."

I gave her a playful smack on the ass before turning, to grab my gear. I was still a bit sore, but the thought of seeing some new scenery and taking out a few walkers, actually seemed appealing.

 

[prettyserpentine]

I couldn't believe he had decided to go ahead with it. I hurried down the steps and called out, if anyone was still around, "Headed out for a look at that nearby town, if anyone wants to come!"

I went inside and grabbed the little hoodie I had brought with me, pulling it on carefully. I adjusted the railroad spike that hung from my left hip, and the knife that I had slipped against my right. And of course, my bat. I smiled at the inanimate object that had once belonged to my late husband. "I'll never see why no one understands you like I do..."

I grinned. Truth be told, I was kind of excited at the prospect of going out and felling a few of the undead. I couldn't imagine a better pastime. Well, maybe one or two, but in times like these a girl had to take whatever fun she could get. I shoved an apple into my pocket and strode out towards the gate, casually swinging the bat as I walked.

It looked like rain.

 

[gearhead73]

Her whole demeanor had changed just by me agreeing to go scavenging. She seems cheerful in fact. I heard her yell to the others that we were heading out, but I didn't hear any responses. That didn't surprise me really, people had been disappearing form this joint from the beginning. That didn't really bother me though, I had Pan, and she was enough.

I rummaged through my pack and grabbed my trusty Kershaw hunting knife and added it to the belt of my jeans. I had never been much of a knife guy, but I was low on ammo and a weapon of any sort could be good, if things went to shit. I refastened the pack and slung it over my shoulder before heading down the stairs catching Pan as she was coming back outside.

"You ready sweet cheeks? I figure that we should be there by dark or a little before unless we can find transport before. Mike still has all of his shit in the car, or we could take that. Mybe we can find a house or something to hold up in tonight."

 

[prettyserpentine]

I glanced at him sardonically as I pulled the lock back on the gate. "Sweet cheeks?" I rolled my eyes. "Watch your mouth." I toted my bat over my shoulder pseudo-threateningly.

But the time for jovial laughs and flirting was over. As the gate shut behind us, it was just me, Randy, and whatever walkers were out here. I couldn't deny it was exciting. The prospect of killing something got me a lot more excited than I would ever admit.

"East, wasn't it?" I hissed, keening my ears to the sounds around me as we started to leak carefully through the woods. "You starting to think this is a bad idea yet?"

 

[gearhead73]

"Well, it might be a bad idea to let you navigate. We need to head west sugar lumps." I said with an exaggerated wink.

I pointed in the direction we needed to head and concentrated on my steps as we moved slowly through the woods. I tried to stay at least an arm's length from her so I could just give her a tap to get her attention without making noise. I looked for signs of what may have Happened to Alli, or anyone else, but saw nothing. 'Strange.', I thought to myself, like an episode of X-files. We were moving along pretty good. The walking was easy and although we could see walkers on the horizon at the top of the hill, we hadn't encountered any yet.

I had to give to Pan, she was pretty stealthy when she moved. I don't know if she had been an avid outdoorswoman in her former life, but she definitely seemed comfortable now. A far cry from the coughing, puking, bleeding mess she was when we met. The further we went, the better I felt about traveling together.