My Wife

[Mike260]

For years I've had an insatiable desire for my wife to sleep with another man. I want her to cum in shuddering moans, and to do it again and again. To pine for his arms and his cock...to need him inside her...and then to go to him in the middle of the afternoon only to tell me afterward.

 

[Mike260]

So, has anybody ever done this, or have any thoughts on it?

 

[deezire1900]

Yep, I wanted my X girlfriend to do the same thing with another woman....oh, but I wanted her to starting living there and scaming off her instead!

 

[Mike260]

Well deezire, thanks for the cautionary note.

But, mainly, thanks for your comment. This topic seems to have elicited virtually no interest from anyone. (I now know that GLBT probably isn't the right forum, but I also posted in HT after realizing that and didn't get a response there either.)

It made me feel good to get a little feedback.

Thanks,
Mike

 

[Meat Whistler]

You aren't really asking anything; I'm not sure the type of response you want. However, I will say that you should be cautious and really look into the possible outcomes of this type of thing. Have you mentioned it to her? Does she want this too? Are you sure that your relationship is strong enough to handle inviting another person into the bedroom?

I would suggest you really think about this before you do it. I would also suggest that you read and speak with people who have made this decision.

 

[Mike260]

My wife and I have talked about this extensively, both in bed and out. We've gone as far as having phone sex with other men, which turned both of us on a lot.

Does she want to go the next step? I'm not sure. On balance probably not, though the idea turns her on.

On the other hand, in the right situation, she would be likely to go for it. That situation would probably have nothing to do with me, involving a guy she was flirting with who tried to seduce her. In fact, I'm virtually sure she would sleep with the right guy under those circumstances.

Is our marraige strong enough to survive this? Yeah. We've been married almost 20 years, have kids, and have shared many times, both good and bad.

Could it backfire and get uncomfortable? Yeah.

I've corresponded with people who have done this. There's a whole lifestyle around it called "Hotwifing" (the term makes me cringe too.) The people who are into it tend to be fanatical. That's what led me to post here. I was hoping to see how a more random sampling of people reacted to the idea.

 

[deezire1900]

I call it cheating, but if cheating is what turns you on...then go for it.


What if she doesn't want to come back from Carlos Lopez the hot Spanish stallion dancer...to the fat husband, whining kids, dirty house, and bills stacked up. What if she says...screw you, and moves to Ixtapa with Carlos and lives a life of pleasure on the beach...THEN WHAT!

...Sorry Mike, I got away from myself a little...(anything above was not meant directly at you, your probably not fat)

 

[Travelintheways]

I know there are similar threads to this in HT, but I couldn't tell you where to start looking. I do want to reply to the above post where "this" was cheating for the poster. In my opinion, if it's discussed and agreed upon beforehand, it is NOT cheating. Of course, your mileage may vary. But I agree completely with the point about it becoming complicated (if not in the exact terms stated). Unfortunately, I wouldn't know where to start looking, so I can't really help you much.

 

[Meat Whistler]

****

Does she want to go the next step? I'm not sure. On balance probably not, though the idea turns her on.

On the other hand, in the right situation, she would be likely to go for it. That situation would probably have nothing to do with me, involving a guy she was flirting with who tried to seduce her. In fact, I'm virtually sure she would sleep with the right guy under those circumstances.

****

Do you really want to talk your wife into something that she probably doesn't want to do? It seems to me that you are putting this idea out there in hopes that she will go along with it. I suggest you leave this one to fantasy.

If you really want her to fuck someone else and tell you all about it, then just prepare yourself for the potential consequences. She may eventually want to go back to him, continue to fuck him (without your knowledge), start having an emotional and physical bond with him, and, in turn, cut you out of it.

 

[Queersetti]

I know there are similar threads to this in HT, but I couldn't tell you where to start looking. I do want to reply to the above post where "this" was cheating for the poster.

I was struck by that as well.

If partners agree to allow certain behaviors in their relationship, how is engaging in those behaviors "cheating"?

 

[anne27]

It's not cheating if both partners agree in an open relationship. I know a few couples who have this arrangement. It works well for some, lousy for others. I think communication and openness with each other in these types of situations is a must.

My hubby and I swing (I hate that word). Is that cheating? No. Why not? Because we both agree it's something we want to do and we do it together. I also have my own bisexual interest outside of our marriage. Is that cheating? No. Why not? Because when I found myself extremely attracted to a woman I sat down and discussed it with my partner and he said "Pursue it for as far as you want it to go."

It can work, but it's not always easy. If there's any hesitation on your wife's part, I really think you may want to just let it stay a fantasy. Pushing it if she is unsure will end badly.

 

[deezire1900]

Hey~ My cheating comment got more exposure then the original post.

I only mentioned cheating, because of

To pine for his arms and his cock...to need him inside her...and then to go to him in the middle of the afternoon only to tell me afterward.

I agree that if both people know about it and they both want it, that is not cheating.

But to not metion it, until after the fact, that might be cheating (in the simplest form of the word)

 

[Mikijl Dragon]

The heat of the moment

Before our relationship became a 3 way relationship my wife and I had an agreement. We would always tell each other if we were planning on seducing or being seduced by someone. Things don't always happen to plan so we had the clause that if something happened on the spur of the moment that we would absolutly have to tell each other.

Honesty is key. Without that you will both end up unhappy or happy but with someone else.

 

[LadyNatasha]

It's called cuckolding; check the library in the BDSM forums, should be plenty of info there.

 

[Mike260]

(Because I was initially confused about how the forums were constructed in Literotica, this post/thread is in both GLBT and HT. Some of the posts in HT got pretty viscious. This is largely a response to those posts.)



Wow!

First, I want to thank everyone who has offered me a sincere response. Obviously, I posted on the forum because I wanted to know what other people thought and felt. I’m still interested in anything else anybody has to say.

Travelintheways and Anne, from the bottom of my heart, thank you! On the old “I’m OK/You’re OK” vein, I’m glad somebody thinks I’m OK.

And other people who offered honest criticism, thank you too.

To me, the most trenchant criticism raised an issue I’ve wondered about—Am I pushing my wife to do something she doesn’t want to do? Marriage is a complex thing. We’ve been married for 17 years and push/pull dynamics are never simple. In this case I think we’ve reached a compromise where we’re each doing a bit of both.
I’ve urged my wife to go ahead and do this, but never pressured her. At this point, she is almost always the one who brings up the subject of erotic adultery. Her input rarely goes beyond, “I met a guy I thought was pretty hot. I thought you would be interested.” I respond, “Well, you have my permission to sleep with him,” and then she doesn’t. And that’s it.
In bed, we bring up the subject pretty often. It turns her on and drives me wild. She also has a pretty fetishistic interest that’s a mainstay of our sex life. That one, I’ll leave to her to post about.

Several people also cautioned that I might be biting off more than I can chew. Maybe. To be honest, though, I think that risk is part of the thrill of any sadomasochistic thing—and there is definitely a razor-sharp masochistic blade hanging over me here.

But I was surprised that several people got so angry and insulting about this. Why? What chord is it striking for you?

For several of the comments, I’m not going to stoop to the level of what would amount to a spitting fight.

But there are a couple I will address. First, no, I’m not fat. And my kids aren’t whiners either. Yes, the house can get pretty messy, but we all have a pretty good time, do the best we can at our jobs and school, and love each other a lot.

And Bobmi, yes it is sad. But so are a lot of things in life, like S&M, anal sex, unrequited love, tearjerker movies, and rooting for the Chicago White Sox. And I’ve done them all without a moment’s regret. Perhaps, for you, sex is all about romance and affection. Great. Go for it. But sex involves other things for me beyond romance. Something else makes my cock hard, my heart race, and my soul full. And I think that’s great too.

I’m new here, but I hope this would be a safe forum to discuss sexuality. (I mean, in the role play section, there are threads about sexual practices that would send you to jail for crying out loud.)
I’m a firm believer that we can’t change what turns us on. If we could, homosexual reorientation camps would work. The question is, then, “How do we fit our sexual urges into our lives?” Personally, I think gay people should fuck each other however they like to and then, if they want, get married and raise kids like everybody else.
As for the rest of us, when the lights go out, we can all wrestle with whatever flavor of sexual intimacy brings us closer to ourselves and the people lying next to us. But here’s the thing—if it is going to bring us genuine intimacy, it’s going to be at least a little bit different for every single person on earth.

 

[Jander1]

Relationships can be complicated. As stated before honesty is what makes or breaks them. Sexuality, and how two people handle it can be very different.
Whatever it takes, we only have one life! Only those that are invloved in the relationship truely understand what is going on.

 

[deezire1900]

But there are a couple I will address. First, no, I’m not fat. And my kids aren’t whiners either. Yes, the house can get pretty messy, but we all have a pretty good time, do the best we can at our jobs and school, and love each other a lot.

Yeah, I succeeded is pissing someone off, for no reason, today. Check that one off my list.

 

[Mike260]

You didn't piss me off. (At least not that much.) It was just, being that you were talking about my life, I wanted to paint it the way I saw it.

 

[Eilan]

I decided to come over here and read this thread to see how it differed from the one on the HT Cafe.

Wow.

 

[Baskin Robbins]

My wife and I have talked about being "adveturous", but only between the two of us. If you and your wife can handle it then "go for it". I couldn't take it, but if you can then more power to you!!! and her!!!

I'm sure it would be VERY erotic. Just look out for those jealous eyes!

 

[OnHarry]

Mike I would just add this, I am not sure if you said you and your wife already swing (I hate the term to) or not. I am assuming at this point you don't.

As someone above said be careful what you wish for, if you let the genie out of the bottle, there is a good chance it won't go back in again. I think you both should consider maybe going to a swingers club or party together and see what is what. You might be able to gauge both your reactions by that and you might find it more uncomfortable than you thought.

It is possible to, that you might be able to find a lifestyle (not crazy about that term either) that suits you both. However as some else also said honesty is crucial you have to be up front and no quibbling.

 

[snapperlapper]

It can work

My wife and I have had an open marriage rom the start, and I have encouraged her to bring other men to our bed . I really enjoy MFM and so does she. Instead of just telling her she can bed someone who she finds interesting ask her about him make sure she knows that you are interested too. She may really want to do this but needs your help and assurance that bedding another man will not drive a wedge between the two of you. If my wife beds another man without me present she will always ask permission first and usually wants me to at least meet them and give my approval.
She has her eye on a young guy now (25) that she has been teasing for about 2 months and it is plain that when the opportunity arrives the fun will start.

Encourage her but do not push her into a relashionship she does not want, when the right one comes along IT WILL HAPPEN.

 

[SweetSurrendered1]

As someone above said be careful what you wish for, if you let the genie out of the bottle, there is a good chance it won't go back in again. I think you both should consider maybe going to a swingers club or party together and see what is what. You might be able to gauge both your reactions by that and you might find it more uncomfortable than you thought.

It is possible to, that you might be able to find a lifestyle (not crazy about that term either) that suits you both. However as some else also said honesty is crucial you have to be up front and no quibbling.

My husband also likes to see me with other men. I resisted it for a long time for a few reasons. One, I would absolutely not want to see him with another woman, although being there while I'm with a woman is fine. It was very difficult for me to understand how he could be okay with such a thing. Two, read the above. I was, and still am, afraid that sex may one day be better with someone else who is also capable of sweeping me off my feet. Life throws you strange and unexpected curve balls sometimes. There was a time in my life when I swore I would never smoke a cigarette; now I'm addicted. Just because I don't want to find myself "feeling closer" (for lack of a better term) with someone else, how can even I be so sure that it won't ever happen. And it's important to point out that I've never been in love with anyone more than I am in love with my husband even after all these years, and I dated a lot before getting married.

We did the swingers club thing too and I'd say that made me a little more comfortable. We've done it with a few different guys , a couple of them more than once, in the last 7 years. I am still very careful. I've never been with anyone without him there. He would like for me to just come home and tell him about my wild time in the back office or something, but I've never felt comfortable with that.

Honesty is definitely the key, not strictly with each other, but also with yourselves. Move slowly and talk about everything you can possibly think of along the way. Don't hold anything back.

Good luck to you both!!

 

[Mike260]

Snapperlapper and SweetSurrender:'

Thank you for your wonderfully compassionate replies. It's great not to feel as if I'm some solitary deviant with this desire.

The real message I got from both of you was, "Don't forget that the most important thing you have going is your relationship with your wife."

We've been married for almost 20 years (wow, that sounds like a long time). God willing we'll be married for many more. This is, simply, one of the many things I want to share with her.

Thank you again for your sensible and caring comments.

Mike

 

[naughtyblonde02]

Im going to add my two cents here, I just don't understand some men. They never seem to be happy with what they have, you got a wife, that does not seem to be good enough. My best friend was married for ten years and he wanted his wife to do a threesome with someone else and they did, and it continued for a few months, but it broke their marriage apart. Inviting someone else into your bedroom only seems to cause problems. You might say oh we both wanted it, well ...I think its sad in todays society where marriage and being with one partner is no longer sacred.