My wife wants me to cum in her mouth

[Britman2294]

I have erectile dysfunction caused by a stroke so oral sex is our main activity. I can get slightly firm if there is enough visual stimulation but not enough for vaginal penetration. However I have difficulty coming in my wife's mouth. I usually have to finish myself off coming over her breasts or vagina which she enjoys but she has said she would enjoy me cumming in her mouth.

I usually lie flat on my back while she is giving me head.

Any good ideas?

 

[skitzoid]

Just jack off when the time is right and aim for her mouth. As your cuming, stick it in. Then she can taste you and will almost be like a good blow job. I have occasional ED and this works for me. Or,, you can talk to a doc and get Viagra or the like. They do work good. The best "recreational" drug on the market.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

I have erectile dysfunction caused by a stroke so oral sex is our main activity. I can get slightly firm if there is enough visual stimulation but not enough for vaginal penetration. However I have difficulty coming in my wife's mouth. I usually have to finish myself off coming over her breasts or vagina which she enjoys but she has said she would enjoy me cumming in her mouth.

I usually lie flat on my back while she is giving me head.

Any good ideas?

Skitzoid brought up a very good question. When erectile dysfunction is caused by a stroke, will Viagra help?

 

[Britman2294]

Skitzoid brought up a very good question. When erectile dysfunction is caused by a stroke, will Viagra help?

No, I tried it and it had no effect.

She also has a very low sex drive and does not like me going down on her so it's all a bit one-sided (in my favour!).

 

[sterculius]

No, I tried it and it had no effect.

She also has a very low sex drive and does not like me going down on her so it's all a bit one-sided (in my favour!).

She wants you to cum in her mouth but you say that she has a LOW sex drive? I only wish all women had such a "low" sex drive! Good for her!!

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

No, I tried it and it had no effect.

She also has a very low sex drive and does not like me going down on her so it's all a bit one-sided (in my favour!).

You say that you can get a partial erection, (“if there is enough visual stimulation”), and that you can cum from masturbation. This would imply that you are still physically able to function sexually in a normal way, but perhaps there has been a change in the brain from the stroke. From what I have read recently, the brain can “rewire” its self, (to some extent), after it has been damaged. Apparently, when a synapses can no longer function, the nerve cells in the brain will sometimes create a new pathway to overcome a lost skill.

Have you thought of trying meditation to try to regain the ability to get a complete erection? This may sound a little strange, but perhaps if you meditated on a sexual image that would normally arouse you, your brain might find a new pathway to give you a normal erection. Example: if you focused your thoughts on an image that would normally arouse you, (virtual or real), and mentally aroused yourself, in time, your brain might find a new way to perform an old task.

This is kind of what they do in physical therapy. By using familiar physical movements, it can force the brain to find a new way to perform an old task. Maybe the same would work for an erection. It sounds kind of odd, but maybe it will help. Just a thought.

 

[JRaven]

I have erectile dysfunction caused by a stroke so oral sex is our main activity. I can get slightly firm if there is enough visual stimulation but not enough for vaginal penetration. However I have difficulty coming in my wife's mouth. I usually have to finish myself off coming over her breasts or vagina which she enjoys but she has said she would enjoy me cumming in her mouth.

I usually lie flat on my back while she is giving me head.

Any good ideas?

It's not uncommon for some men to have a hangup about cumming in a woman's mouth. When we first got married, my husband couldn't even cum from a blowjob for fear of cumming in my mouth. (he's gotten over that hangup)

You might also try standing up while she gives you head. It will give you a different view angle and more visual stimulation. Of course, she should at least be topless. Also, sitting slouched in a chair with your ass close to the edge may also work.

All in all, mix it up a bit. Laying on your back in bed while getting head all the time is like always doing it missionary in bed. Put on some porn in the living room and have her give you head while you watch. After dinner out, have her lean over as you take the long drive home. Many, many ways to mix it up!

Just a few thoughts from a woman that loves cum in her mouth...
Jenny

 

[NomadLady]

All good suggestions here and it seems as thought she really wants this. I do know I absolutely love to have my partner cum in my mouth, it is a wonderful way of giving pleasure to a partner and letting them release in the warm, wet confines of my mouth. I have at times felt a little disappointed if I don't get to swallow my partner at some time during a fun evening...

 

[silverwhisper]

britman: firstly, how great that she wants to do that with you!

i'm unclear from the OP or succeeding posts whether or not the issue is a matter of physics or of psychology. can you please clarify, as that will impact the kind of suggestions you will find most helpful.

ed

 

[Dual_Triode]

I have erectile dysfunction caused by a stroke so oral sex is our main activity. I can get slightly firm if there is enough visual stimulation but not enough for vaginal penetration. However I have difficulty coming in my wife's mouth. I usually have to finish myself off coming over her breasts or vagina which she enjoys but she has said she would enjoy me cumming in her mouth.

I usually lie flat on my back while she is giving me head.

Any good ideas?

I have a couple of suggestions.

First, I would try to get a vacuum penis pump. This is a medical device which assists creating an erection by literally sucking the blood into your penis. Once erect, you can slide a silicone band from the pump onto your penis to prevent the blood from escaping and keeping the erection. You may be able to enjoy intercourse this way.

The pump is not a toy, like the ones shown in men's mags for enlargement. They are medical devices to treat a medical condition like yours.

The second thing I would do is keep taking Viagra (or its equivalent) even though you may not see immediate effects. Eventually, the neural pathways will regrow and you should be able to achieve an erection normally.

I suffered through ED after surgery for prostate cancer. The standard physical therapy regime calls for the penis pump and Viagra. In my case, it took 9 months for a complete recovery. The doctor explained that the physical therapy keeps the spongy tissue healthy while the nerves heal.

Talk to your doctor, and don't be embarrassed.

~Dual

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

I have a couple of suggestions.

First, I would try to get a vacuum penis pump. This is a medical device which assists creating an erection by literally sucking the blood into your penis. Once erect, you can slide a silicone band from the pump onto your penis to prevent the blood from escaping and keeping the erection. You may be able to enjoy intercourse this way.

The pump is not a toy, like the ones shown in men's mags for enlargement. They are medical devices to treat a medical condition like yours.

The second thing I would do is keep taking Viagra (or its equivalent) even though you may not see immediate effects. Eventually, the neural pathways will regrow and you should be able to achieve an erection normally.

I suffered through ED after surgery for prostate cancer. The standard physical therapy regime calls for the penis pump and Viagra. In my case, it took 9 months for a complete recovery. The doctor explained that the physical therapy keeps the spongy tissue healthy while the nerves heal.

Talk to your doctor, and don't be embarrassed.

~Dual

This is good to know. I didn't know it was possible to regain a full erection after prostate surgery. Maybe it will work for a stroke also.

 

[txgent101]

+1 on the vacuum penis pump & silicone band; I had prostate treatment and the vacuum pump works very well for me. Mine is made by Encore. It has the electric motor to pull the vacuum. Use lots of lube at the base to seal for the vacuum. I can't do Viagara due to medication for a heart condition.

 

[firenzi]

You've gotten some great replies so far- I can only speak to your wife's end of things, and I haven't been in this exact situation myself, but here are some thoughts, for what they're worth...

"I have difficulty coming in my wife's mouth. I usually have to finish myself off"

This jumped out at me, because it might mean that a change of technique is in order. Perhaps you could show and tell her what you do differently to finish yourself off? Does she use her hands enough? Like long, firm strokes while using her mouth on the head of your cock? You don't have to be deep in her mouth for her to swallow your cum- she can get it down by sucking your head like a straw.

"I can get slightly firm if there is enough visual stimulation...I usually lie flat on my back while she is giving me head"

Would sitting in a chair or on the couch be comfortable for you and your wife? That way you might get more visuals. Is there a certain colour of nail polish or lipstick you'd like her to wear? Certain outfit or lingerie? Is she open to the idea of porn? Maybe a video playing while she blows you?

She also has a very low sex drive and does not like me going down on her so it's all a bit one-sided (in my favour!)

In my experience, the best blowjobs happen when both parties feel sexual and turned on. Even if her sex drive is low, maybe there is something new that you would like, and your wife would find fun- make up, porn, new lingerie, role play, dirty talk, cock worship....if she's having fun, chances are she'll approach your cock with even more enthusiasm and vigour

 

[TBKahuna123]

Something else you may try is one of those supportive cockrings. I haven't tried them, but I've seen them. They have a kind of spine in them with a series of silicone rings which hold blood int he penis to keep it erect, which providing additional support which may allow you to achieve penetration.

Now this really doesn't answer the original question, just thought I'd throw it out there. As for the original question, I say just finish yourself in her mouth. Have her kneel in front of you and finish the job yourself into her mouth. Hell that's how they do it in the pornos. All joking aside though, your wife's desire to please you and find ways to enjoy sexual intimacy regardless of the physical challenges shows how great a woman she is, and it's very sexy to boot. Good luck!

 

[amofiga]

Something else you may try is one of those supportive cockrings. I haven't tried them, but I've seen them. They have a kind of spine in them with a series of silicone rings which hold blood int he penis to keep it erect, which providing additional support which may allow you to achieve penetration.

Now this really doesn't answer the original question, just thought I'd throw it out there. As for the original question, I say just finish yourself in her mouth. Have her kneel in front of you and finish the job yourself into her mouth. Hell that's how they do it in the pornos. All joking aside though, your wife's desire to please you and find ways to enjoy sexual intimacy regardless of the physical challenges shows how great a woman she is, and it's very sexy to boot. Good luck!

Ditto on all accounts. Given that you like and need the visual stimulation, I've found that doing it doggie style is a great way to watch penetration action, assuming that the pump or other stimulation can help you achieve necessary hardness.

As to the second suggestion, if your wife is willing (and it seems she is indeed more than just willing) you can try one of the things that I find wonderfully stimulating and (at least for me) mentally stimulating as well. Sit in a chair and have your wife blow you while she's on her knees. If she likes to masturbate at the same time either with fingers or vibrator that's a double plus, at least for me. It tends to make me feel very dominant like she's my slave girl that I've had brought in to service me. Perhaps you don't enjoy these sorts of thoughts about your wife as a slave girl, but maybe you do.

Also, sometimes my wife will prop herself up against the headboard and I'll straddle her and fuck her mouth. I find this to be quite erotic and she has said she likes this because she says she sometimes likes to remain passive and submissive.

I also applaud your wife. I hear too many stories about the opposite type of women who can be rather selfish, reject oral sex, and would rather have no sex at all than to actually ask their man to cum in their mouth. She's an angel. I also wish you good luck.

 

[sunandshadow]

Wow, no one has mentioned prostate massage/milking yet? That's another standard technique for dealing with erectile dysfunction and combines really well with blowjobs.