My very first submission

[4nk8]

This is my first story I have submitted that has actually been published

I am looking to write a second chapter, but I’m unsure how to go about it

https://www.literotica.com/s/unexpected-getaway

 

[CiaoSteve]

For a first story I thought the idea was good, and as a story was an enjoyable read. I do have a couple of negatives though, but maybe that is just my way of looking at it (others may think the opposite)

1) You may want to think about the structure . . . felt very rushed due to many short phrases rather than sentences . . . example below

You tell me that you have booked a cabin. In The Lake District. 'Miles from anywhere,' you say. You tell me that you will pick me up. Tomorrow morning. At seven-thirty. Just like that. You don't ask me. You just tell me. You just assume that, if you did ask me, my answer would be yes.​

2) Good etiquette to separate speech out onto a separate line

Would like to read your next one.

 

[4nk8]

For a first story I thought the idea was good, and as a story was an enjoyable read. I do have a couple of negatives though, but maybe that is just my way of looking at it (others may think the opposite)

1) You may want to think about the structure . . . felt very rushed due to many short phrases rather than sentences . . . example below

You tell me that you have booked a cabin. In The Lake District. 'Miles from anywhere,' you say. You tell me that you will pick me up. Tomorrow morning. At seven-thirty. Just like that. You don't ask me. You just tell me. You just assume that, if you did ask me, my answer would be yes.​

2) Good etiquette to separate speech out onto a separate line

Would like to read your next one.

This is where I’m stuck. I’m no writer. I wrote this on the fly and samscribble re-edited it for me.

I’m hoping somebody may want to continue this for me..?

 

[gunhilltrain]

This is my first story I have submitted that has actually been published

I am looking to write a second chapter, but I’m unsure how to go about it

https://www.literotica.com/s/unexpected-getaway

Sometimes writing the next chapters can be really difficult, unless you've already planned it all out. I once started a series and it took me six months to figure out what chapter 2 should be. Ultimately is was nine chapters. It's best not to delay it too long, but sometimes it happens that way.

I've also had stand-alone stories that start generating unexpected sequels, which is sort of the opposite problem.

Anyway, good luck! The more you write, the more ideas you should come up with.

 

[AngstIgnored]

Good etiquette to separate speech out onto a separate line

Agree, this is a pet peeve of mine, dialogue that is either buried in exposition, or not clear as to who is actually saying it because multiple characters are speaking in a single paragraph. ex:

"That's great." "Oh, I know, I thought so as well." They sat on the couch. "I'm glad you're here."

Yet another confusing example:

"Do you want to go out," he asked. She smiled at him.

"Yes." He looked at her with a confident smirk. "Good."

Notice that the reactions of one character are grouped with comments of another, making it require frequent going back and re-reading to be sure you got the verbal statements associated with the right character.

 

[SimonDoom]

One of the crucial steps to becoming a good writer is to be a good reader. Pick some authors you like at Literotica, and then read their stories . . . carefully. Study how they handle sentence and paragraph structure and dialogue.

I agree with some other things said here. When you have a passage of dialogue and switch to a new speaker, start a new paragraph.

It's OK in fiction to use some sentence fragments, but I think you rely upon them too much. Mostly you should use complete sentences, which have a subject and a verb.

 

[4nk8]

One of the crucial steps to becoming a good writer is to be a good reader. Pick some authors you like at Literotica, and then read their stories . . . carefully. Study how they handle sentence and paragraph structure and dialogue.

I agree with some other things said here. When you have a passage of dialogue and switch to a new speaker, start a new paragraph.

It's OK in fiction to use some sentence fragments, but I think you rely upon them too much. Mostly you should use complete sentences, which have a subject and a verb.

Now, see, this is something else, I know what it is that you are saying, but I’m no writer. This is probably the only thing I’ll write.

I was looking for a ghost writer to take this on themselves, and add proper dialogue and structure to the story.

 

[ElectricBlue]

My suggestion is to leave this one as it is. It's a sweet little one day story (although seven hours in car in England is a lot of driving, and most of the day would have been countryside, and one assumes, a lot of conversation, all of which is missed), but it stands alone.

Write a new story would be my suggestion, resist this desire to go on and on with multiple chapters. You don't need to do that all the time - although of course I'm guilty of doing it too. But if you don't know where this story goes, don't take it there.

Write another little vignette, because that's what this is really, a single, simple episode, written down.

 

[gunhilltrain]

One of the crucial steps to becoming a good writer is to be a good reader. Pick some authors you like at Literotica, and then read their stories . . . carefully. Study how they handle sentence and paragraph structure and dialogue.

I agree with some other things said here. When you have a passage of dialogue and switch to a new speaker, start a new paragraph.

It's OK in fiction to use some sentence fragments, but I think you rely upon them too much. Mostly you should use complete sentences, which have a subject and a verb.

If William Faulkner is to be believed, you shouldn't just read erotic stories, you should read everything - the classics as well as junk. He compared it to an apprenticeship, I think, like being a carpenter. Then you just have to do it! The more you do, the better you will get. It's a matter of your own attitude towards it.

 

[8letters]

Congrats on posting your first story! I hope you keep writing. You have a very direct style that put me into the story.

Personally, I didn't like your use of second person. "My phone tells me that I have a new message. It's from you." No, it's not from me. I prefer that stories become movies in my head where I watching the action take place, like a voyeur. That way, the characters can do interesting things that I'd never do. Other people may have liked your use of second person.

 

[KeithD]

the OP's story isn't in second person. It's in first person.


We have been talking on the forums for a few months now, eventually we decide to meet the following weekend. You don't say anything else other than give me your phone number.

My phone tells me that I have a new message. It's from you.

This is from the perspective of the narrator "I"--first person. Yes the use of "you" is awkward, but this is being related through the "I," not the "you."

For second person, which, yes, is hard to do, you must be in and stay in the perception of the "you."

 

[sirhugs]

Sometimes writing the next chapters can be really difficult, unless you've already planned it all out. I once started a series and it took me six months to figure out what chapter 2 should be. Ultimately is was nine chapters. It's best not to delay it too long, but sometimes it happens that way.

.
...
Anyway, good luck! The more you write, the more ideas you should come up with.

I quit two stories after multiple chapters for just this reason - I had no idea what happened next.

 

[Omenainen]

Now, see, this is something else, I know what it is that you are saying, but I’m no writer. This is probably the only thing I’ll write.

I was looking for a ghost writer to take this on themselves, and add proper dialogue and structure to the story.

I didn't read the story, but I wanted to comment on this. This type of wishes pop up fairly regularly. From what I can tell, writers generally have the problem of having too many ideas of their own and too little time to write them, so don't be discouraged if there isn't a line of takers based on this thread.

There is the story idea forum, where you can try to sell your idea. One way would be to find someone to write it for money, some writers do commission work.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I quit two stories after multiple chapters for just this reason - I had no idea what happened next.

Well, maybe that's because you reached the natural end of the story. That's the way real life works. If you have a goal for the ending that you have planned for - well, that's fine. If you don't - and it's happened to me too - then, as in much of real life, there is no "ending" as such.

Well, death eventually ends it. That's what John Updike did with his "Rabbit" novels. It took him four books and thirty years to get there, however. He admitted he didn't know where it was all going at the start either. He had no intention of writing a sequel when he published the first one in 1960. Once he did that ten years later - that's when he finally decided to keep going.

But most of us are not Updike or Emile Zola. "Life is just one damn thing after another" - that's been credited to several people.

 

[SimonDoom]

He compared it to an apprenticeship, I think, like being a carpenter. Then you just have to do it! The more you do, the better you will get. It's a matter of your own attitude towards it.

This is my attitude. Writing is a craft, a skill. It's like woodworking, or playing piano. To maximize one's ability, you should study how others do it, master the nuts and bolts, and keep working at it.

But some people, like the OP, perhaps, have limited goals here, and just want to publish a story or two and have fun without worrying about improving much. That's fine, too.

 

[RoperTrace]

This is my first story I have submitted that has actually been published

I am looking to write a second chapter, but I’m unsure how to go about it

https://www.literotica.com/s/unexpected-getaway

Congratulations, you did it! Now either let this one be a one-and-done story, or write more chapters. I think it can stand alone, but it's up to you.
One idea I use is to write a story about things that may have really happened, or partially happened. Then you'll have a road map of where it's going. Or maybe you've daydreamed about some scenario, and it never materialized in reality, but it could give you the idea for further chapters. Or a good friend or acquaintance relayed some real life experience, and that could be your guide or outline for a story and subsequent chapters.
If it's all totally fiction, you need to have a good or great imagination to decide where it's going next. Someone on the story ideas forum suggested becoming invisible as an idea. That may have been half of my teen years, so my daydreams would have given me a road map on what to write, without having experienced it.
I hope you keep writing.

 

[sirhugs]

Well, maybe that's because you reached the natural end of the story. That's the way real life works. If you have a goal for the ending that you have planned for - well, that's fine. If you don't - and it's happened to me too - then, as in much of real life, there is no "ending" as such.



But most of us are not Updike or Emile Zola. "Life is just one damn thing after another" - that's been credited to several people.

in both cases, there was a natural ending I never reached. I just got distracted by other things and never got back on the path, lost the thread.

 

[gunhilltrain]

in both cases, there was a natural ending I never reached. I just got distracted by other things and never got back on the path, lost the thread.

Distraction gets to many of us of course. Maybe your muse will get you back to those stories eventually. I've found stories that I didn't finish several years ago. I put them in a new folder so I can mull them over when I'm looking for some new project.

Also, after the death of a close family member in 2019, I virtually stopped writing anything for nearly six months. I wondered if I would ever be able to pick it up again. After some amount of time had passed, I was able to get back to it

 

[suestevenson143]

Good read

 

[Emirus]

Now, see, this is something else, I know what it is that you are saying, but I’m no writer. This is probably the only thing I’ll write.

I was looking for a ghost writer to take this on themselves, and add proper dialogue and structure to the story.

If you seriously want someone to collaborate with you to turn your ideas into stories I would suggest the following.

1. Write your ideas for the story in as much detail as possible without wasting words. Explain the beginning, the end, and how you envisage getting there. Give an idea of what your main characters are like in appearance, personality etc. If possible give an example of a book you’ve read, or film you’ve seen, which you’ve enjoyed and has similarities to your idea or has inspired it.

2. Search for an author who has written in the same category as the one your idea fits in with and read their stories, particularly if they’ve written in more than one category.

3. You won’t get a collaborator who doesn’t like the category in which you want to put your story.

4. Don’t contact multiple prospective collaborators at the same time. Contact one and if they turn you down contact the next one. Just because they are a good writer doesn’t mean they want to collaborate. They may just want to concentrate on their own ideas.

5. If you get turned down it won’t be personal.

6. I don’t think you’ll find a ghost writer in the sense of you providing the idea and them doing all the work. They’ll want you to have an input as well and if you eventually want to write your stories on your own, just with the help of an editor, I would suggest that’s the way to go.

7. James Patterson is a mainstream author who only writes books about four characters by himself. All his others are written in collaboration with other writers with his name on the cover, in much bigger letters than their’s, in order to sell the book. They will write the book, with his assistance, and probably do 80% of the work. He will suggest some text, probably rewrite passages with their agreement, and edit but the book will essentially be theirs. It should be their name in big letters.

8. If it was me, in your position, I would want the story in my name but would put, in bold letters, at the beginning, “written in collaboration with ????????.”

 

[jsmiam]

Now, see, this is something else, I know what it is that you are saying, but I’m no writer. This is probably the only thing I’ll write.

I was looking for a ghost writer to take this on themselves, and add proper dialogue and structure to the story.

Many stories are rejected for improper dialogue formatting less non-traditional than yours. You may have gotten a free pass (less or no scrutiny) by crediting Sam so prominently. (Just a side comment, see below for the real message)

I encourage you to keep writing, and to remember that this ain’t English class. Oops, this isn’t English class.

You have stories in your head. Have fun. Learn as you go, you don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to learn everything overnight. One writing style lesson at a time will gradually lead to you knowing more than you ever thought you would.

So, don’t take the self deprecation as far as you have. If you enjoyed creating the story, keep it up!