my take on transexuals

hockeypimp

Virgin
Joined
Feb 10, 2003
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22
personally, i'm not a big fan of pornstar transexuals.

the TS' i like, are the normal people, like you and i, going through the process. I'm not attracted to them because their organ, more or less, because i know the experience, and how hard it can be to go through.


dont get me wrong, there are some attractive ts pornstars, but they're out of reach. way out of reach. as far as your daily mtf, thats what i like :D
 
hockeypimp said:
personally, i'm not a big fan of pornstar transexuals.

the TS' i like, are the normal people, like you and i, going through the process. I'm not attracted to them because their organ, more or less, because i know the experience, and how hard it can be to go through.


dont get me wrong, there are some attractive ts pornstars, but they're out of reach. way out of reach. as far as your daily mtf, thats what i like :D

pornstar transexuals seem to be a contradiction in terms to me. people who go through this process as far as I know feel they belong to a different gender so go through a process to become another gender and yet on these porn movies, as far as I'm aware and I'm welcome to be corrected, seem to openly flaunting and not really doing anything helpful for those going through this process. i dont think it helps anyone going through the change when they see people like them on movies all made up to look 'perfect' and probably does nothing for their self esteem in the proces when the end result doesn't look the same as it does on the movies.
 
Personally I'm not fond of the transexual idea.
I know they are normal people who just wanted to be the other sex, but sometimes fate can be a bitch, so they change sex.I also have no idea what a human must go through to change sex.
But it just turns me off.
Example:
I was at a club with two of my best friends and we saw this BEAUTIFUL woman dancing with another girl.We close in and suddenly hear the girl calling that beautiful woman Jim.We were (not happily) surprised to understand that this was a transexual.
My point is that even though know there are those people who change sex, and I accept that fact, I prefer the whole package as nature created it.Men with dicks and women with pussies.
(although sometimes nature puts the wrong soul into the wrong body.. :rolleyes: )

P.S:I don't know much about the subject so I hope I didn't offend, or get off the subject, out of my own ignorance on this.. :eek:
 
yeah, fate can be a bitch.

but you have to look at it from our point of view. a lot of us (more than you think) were born in the wrong bodies. i know for a fact that i am living the wrong life as a male. its not a choice. its the way we are. (yes, i am transgendered)

i dont know i think i'm replying way off from your reply, and i dunno what i am actuazlly talking about hehe :kiss:
 
Transsexuals

Three (s)es in the word. Personally, I'm happy to downplay the label and just be another woman. :) ~Malana
 
m_elise said:
Three (s)es in the word. Personally, I'm happy to downplay the label and just be another woman. :) ~Malana
:) i hope to be there someday :)
 
Hmm..there are really a lot of you out there?
It's funny..while I was about to reply I thought of this:
'But really, I don't understand the entire reasoning of changing one's sex.
I mean, there are feminine guys, gays, guys that dress as girls..'
And that is where I stopped..I thought for a moment how hard is the life for those people..
So is the real reason to changing sex , beginning a new life?
Starting over..

Though sometimes I thought that I could live as a woman, I find myself happy with my current situation.Even after having it rough with my liking both women and men..after going through many emotional and social difficulties, I still like the way things turned out.
I guess it's very different from what pre/post-op transsexuals think like.
Well, I just hope all of us can enjoy our lives to the fullest :)
Ganbare!!(japanese= Do your best!!)
 
CuriousNiceGuy, I read this great book once that was very enlightening about transgender issues and might help you learn more about the subject if you're interested. It's called "Genderqueer," edited by Riki Wilchins, and it is a collection of essays by transgendered and intersexed people (people who have physical characteristics of both genders, like ovaries plus a penis) about their perspectives and experiences. If transgenderism seems strange to you, it might help make it make more sense.
 
Clarifying "transsexual" identities

For Curious Guy:

Being a dyke, I know lots of people in the queer community, some of whom are transfolk. Given that I only hang out with other queer women, the transwomen I know are generally other lesbians or bisexual women. I also know transmen who's sexual orientation vary from straight to bi to gay. Femininity and masculinity are just personal traits, a way of expressing yourself. It's not specificially related to gender, just as sexual orientation is not dictated by gender or vice versa. Being transsexual means that the gender you identify as is not accurately reflected by your physical sex.

To give an example, I love being a woman. I love everything about it. I love my body. And being involved in the trans community has given me a solid appreciation of how lucky I am to be born into the body I have. A transwoman is not "a guy trying to be feminine". It's someone who feels female, thinks female and has always identified herself as female. Transitioning is as much about changing the way the outside world perceives you as trying to synchronize your body and mind (I mean no offense by that, I understand what's involved - I'm just trying to simplify a very complex issue). Transitioning is about changing your physical sex, not gender.

You said that you considered living as a woman, so you may not be able to visualize this as easily as others, but if you love being a man - love everything about it, from the way you smell to the shape of your body and how you think... How easy do you think it would be to have those feelings, that innate knowledge that you are indeed male, but had the misfortune of being born into a body that the rest of the world perceives as female? It's not about whether or not you wear a tie or a dress. That's just one of many ways we have of expressing our gender. Sometimes I get butched up, others I play the femme and mostly I'm just my normal, androgynous self. None of that changes the fact that I'm a woman.

Maybe that can help explain a little better what transitioning means (for some transfolk), and that it's not based on something as trivial as a haircut or what clothes you happy to be wearing. I'll stop this here before I start muddying the waters and include everyone in the community, including intersex people and two-spirited, etc. etc. ;)

Peace, PaganDyke.

PS: Most the transwoman I know (mtf) don't identify as transsexual... They identify as women. Some don't identify as specificially male or female, some do. There's too many variations to assume that there's only one way to do it, or that all transfolk feel the same way. After all, there are 6 billion people on the planet.

PPS: I don't know ANY transwomen who don't despise the "MTF" tag either.
 
hockeypimp said:
yeah, fate can be a bitch.

but you have to look at it from our point of view. a lot of us (more than you think) were born in the wrong bodies. i know for a fact that i am living the wrong life as a male. its not a choice. its the way we are. (yes, i am transgendered)

i dont know i think i'm replying way off from your reply, and i dunno what i am actuazlly talking about hehe :kiss:


Hey...he's a little ways off...I love I mean I really love t- gals
 
For Pagan Dyke

Thanks for the elaborating the points so well. As a post-op lesbian woman myself I find that even though people generally have no clue. Too much Springer and the natural tendancy to fear enlightenment. Your post is so on target, I wished I'd have written it. :) ~Malana
 
hockeypimp said:
yeah, fate can be a bitch.

but you have to look at it from our point of view. a lot of us (more than you think) were born in the wrong bodies. i know for a fact that i am living the wrong life as a male. its not a choice. its the way we are. (yes, i am transgendered)

i dont know i think i'm replying way off from your reply, and i dunno what i am actuazlly talking about hehe :kiss:
Wow! those could just bring me over to your side ;)
 
Harrowborg said:
pornstar transexuals seem to be a contradiction in terms to me. people who go through this process as far as I know feel they belong to a different gender so go through a process to become another gender and yet on these porn movies, as far as I'm aware and I'm welcome to be corrected, seem to openly flaunting and not really doing anything helpful for those going through this process. i dont think it helps anyone going through the change when they see people like them on movies all made up to look 'perfect' and probably does nothing for their self esteem in the proces when the end result doesn't look the same as it does on the movies.
amen.
 
Thoughts

My thoughts have been all over on this, and I can say, that I have decided upon a happy medium.
At one time, I wanted to transition, myself. I truly recognize the existence of a female part of me that I know to be happy, confident, and completely comfortable in public or private. There are even times when it overcomes me so much that I feel as if I have never spent a day of my life otherwise. My possesions also indicate this, as my clothing, shoes, personal items, etc. are easily 85% female. I can't rememberthe last "impulse" purchase I made that I would consider to be male influenced, yet every week I make several decidely feminine decisions, an ongoing part of Nicki's (high) maintenance.
The opposite side of this is that I still can, and even enjoy my masculine self as well. Luckily,I realized this before taking any drastic steps that may have taken that part of me away.
I am at peace with "straddling the fence", so to speak, and instead of being uncomfortable in an assigned gender role, I believe myself to be lucky enough to be able to place myself in either. I don't ask or expect very many people to understand or agree with my perspective, and don't look for verification from others anymore, either. I honestly think it is a wonderful gift I have and that reaching a point that allows me flourish mentally and physically with a positive outlook about it is more than I could ever ask in life.
It also seems entirely possible, in my experience, that if society were more tolerant and stayed out of peoples gender decisions, that a much larger number of those who either secretly wish for this duality, or to even transition fully would be realized.
I hope this makes some sense to those who wonder, as for myself, it is as clear as can be, and exactly who I am supposed to be- Whoever I want to!
kisses and licks, nicki
 
Love a Sexy ts, TV or CD

I know I've had over 20 relationships with CDs and ts, and the majority of them except for a couple seemed or were like women with me, I mean they played the part to the hilt and we both enjoyed it, I'm looking for mylatest partner, and I hope I'm not dissappointed. I have had more hits than misses.
 
To PaganDyke
Your post was amazing.I'd say perfect..It was REALLY 'educating'.
It certainly hasn't changed my whole perspective and I still don't know if it won't feel awkward having a ts friend(it hasn't happened since in Greece there aren't a lot of transgendered people), but I think I understand their feelings better.
The only thing I'd like to say is that I was never against the whole idea, and I accept it. :)
And of course I never thought that ts people are weird.Just looking for a way out.. ;)
 
PaganDyke said:
PPS: I don't know ANY transwomen who don't despise the "MTF" tag either.
Excellent post, PaganDyke. Really fantastic.

This one little bit is the only part I disagree with; I know quite a number of transwomen who use the term MTF themselves. (Or, sometimes, M2F.) They are in various stages of transition, but I've never heard them express disdain for that term in particular. They may not apply it to themselves, but they do use it. I guess our friends are just different. :)
 
nickidoes said:
At one time, I wanted to transition, myself. I truly recognize the existence of a female part of me that I know to be happy, confident, and completely comfortable in public or private.

I am at peace with "straddling the fence", so to speak, and instead of being uncomfortable in an assigned gender role, I believe myself to be lucky enough to be able to place myself in either.

Would have to say i feel similar to Nicki on all this.

The problem with living the transsexual life is, that to go out into public and be accepted as a woman takes a lot of work... electrolysis... hormones... surgury. Your whole goal becomes "passing" in public. And you'll do anything to pass. It becomes addictive and all-consuming.

Ultimately after an 8 year walk on the wild side, i came to the same conclusions that Nicki did, that I'm never going to have a sex change, so I mind as well just straddle the gender fence and enjoy both my male and female sides.

For years i tried to beat down and destroy my male side. Now i celebrate it, and for the first time in a long, I feel comfortable being able to express both.

The whole gender thing is a deeply personal issue. Those that feel comfortable in their own skin, should feel blessed.

Steffie
 
Transphobia

Etoile said:
Excellent post, PaganDyke. Really fantastic.

This one little bit is the only part I disagree with; I know quite a number of transwomen who use the term MTF themselves. (Or, sometimes, M2F.) They are in various stages of transition, but I've never heard them express disdain for that term in particular. They may not apply it to themselves, but they do use it. I guess our friends are just different. :)

I stand corrected. Over-generalizing is a problem I sometimes have and I realize that however I feel about it, I have no more right to dictate how other people choose to identify, no more than they do mine. Thank you. :)

Peace, Pagan Dyke.
 
Transphobic Attitudes & Intersexed stuff

CuriousNiceGuy said:
[snip]...and I still don't know if it won't feel awkward having a ts friend(it hasn't happened since in Greece there aren't a lot of transgendered people), but I think I understand their feelings better. The only thing I'd like to say is that I was never against the whole idea, and I accept it. :) And of course I never thought that ts people are weird.Just looking for a way out.. ;)
CuriousNiceGuy said:
I was at a club with two of my best friends and we saw this BEAUTIFUL woman dancing with another girl.We close in and suddenly hear the girl calling that beautiful woman Jim.We were (not happily) surprised to understand that this was a transexual. My point is that even though know there are those people who change sex, and I accept that fact, I prefer the whole package as nature created it.Men with dicks and women with pussies.

Knowing our biases is the best way to combat them, so I applaud that you are becoming aware of your own prejudices around gender issues. However, from other posts it's my opinion that you need a lot of work around having a need to define other people's femininity/masculinity. The reason I replied as I did was what I'd call your obvious lack of education around trans identity... As for your 'acceptance', you clearly stated your feelings regarding transwomen, saying that you were 'unhappy' with the woman (Jim) in the bar (have you considered that it might have been more that you found yourself attracted to her and then became uncomfortable with that attraction, once you realized she may have been trans?).

You also said that you 'prefer' the whole package as nature intended it. As Nikki and others have posted, there is no one way - no one correct way - for people to identify, around gender or orientation, etc... I think it would be more accurate to assume that diversity is nature's way, and not the socially-enforced gender dichotomy (sp) of western society. And this is only my opinion, but I see nothing unnatural about uniting the physical with the emotional & spiritual, during transition, especially in a society like ours where perception is everything.

Besides which, at least 3% of all babies are born intersexed or with so-called 'ambigious' genitals. Ambigious compared to what? Did you know, that had you been born in Canada or the States with a penis under an 1/8th of an inch, the doctor would have castrated you and fashioned you a vagina, urging your parents to raise you as a girl (if they notified them at all), and that this is common practice? :mad: Or that if I had a been born with an 'oversized' clit, the doctors would cut it down and insist that I was raised male? Our physical selves are just a part of a coherent whole that is not so easily defined. It is a wonderous thing when we as individuals strive to evolve our own identities. But I think that rather than trying to enforce these definitions upon others, we should instead try to see & appreciate the beauty and truth that comes with diversity. We should acknowledge and celebrate our differences, and hope that there will come a time when all people give themselves the freedom to be who they are, to live in a way that makes them whole (as Nikki has - Goddess bless).

Stomping people down to squeeze into an ill-fitting mold doesn't help anyone. Rant over. :D

Pagan Dyke

PS: Transgendered & transsexual people are everywhere, Greece included.
 
Damn broken mouse..I can't quote now...
Anyway, I'll just hope you understand where I'm refering. ;)

First of all, yes OF COURSE there are ts in greece too.I never said there weren't, but there aren't that many(considering the size of greece maybe this is natural..).

Secondly, about that woman(Jim) at the club.I was unhappily surprised cause, the whole idea turns me off.
I didn't frown thinking, 'omg..gross..', but rather, 'there goes a good chance..'.
I DO lack education about trans-based issues, but I am a VERY open-minded person.I actually took the time of fantasizing about me with a ts person, and I wasn't completely turned off.Basically, the only thing I don't quite like about my behaviour/way of thinking, is that I usually feel awkward that, a while ago, that person was a different gender.
Lol, I think I could actually even try things out with a ts person, BUT I don't think I'd ever do something serious.
I don't actually have a reason, why I wouldn't, but I think that sometimes there isn't a reason.
Either you like something, or not.Or maybe you don't like it that much.

P.S:I don't feel disgusted or whatever, by thinking of me with a ts person.I just don't think I'd be comfortable being in a relationship with one.
It's like being straight and accepting homosexuality, but not wanting to do something with a homosexual.You can't really blame me(not that you are blaming me..), it's just my personality i think..:)

I too don't find it weird 'synchronising' the body with the mind, but it just feels awkward.I guess in the end it's just because of my lack of experience with ts.Never had a friend or even knew a single ts person(except for Jimmy :) )

P.S2:I sometimes get confused with the terms shemale and trangenderism(sp?).When I hear ts I immediatelly think of a woman with a cock.While I should think of just a woman, or a man.Whatever that person wants to be.:)

Your posts are really nice..
 
CuriousNiceGuy said:
First of all, yes OF COURSE there are ts in greece too.I never said there weren't, but there aren't that many(considering the size of greece maybe this is natural..).
I think it's a combination of the size and the culture. The metropolitan area around New York City is twice the size of the population of Greece! But it's also a difference in culture, in that trans folk in Greece may not feel as free to be out as trans folk in the United States. More information on trans issues in Greece can be found here.

CuriousNiceGuy said:
P.S2:I sometimes get confused with the terms shemale and trangenderism(sp?).When I hear ts I immediatelly think of a woman with a cock.While I should think of just a woman, or a man.Whatever that person wants to be.:)
Don't worry, that is a very common first reaction. It's perfectly normal. Your second reaction, though, is awesome. Many people don't even have that reaction. They never get to the part where they say "just plain woman" rather than "woman with a cock." So the fact that you realize that is an excellent testament to your open-mindedness.

As for the term shemale, that is considered derogatory, at least in the U.S. It is mostly used in the porn industry and the escort industry. More info about it here. I know some trans people who don't like the term transgender either, but I know many others who do. I don't think that one is ever considered negative - it's just that some people prefer not to use it, but it's not an insult like shemale is.
 
Etoile said:
Don't worry, that is a very common first reaction. It's perfectly normal. Your second reaction, though, is awesome. Many people don't even have that reaction. They never get to the part where they say "just plain woman" rather than "woman with a cock." So the fact that you realize that is an excellent testament to your open-mindedness.

Amen. That's something I still catch myself doing, although more and more I think "woman with a little extra" so I'm still working on it. Funny thing though, i've been chatting online with a member of the third sex (I kinda like that one too, the best of both worlds ;) ), and she calls herself a woman with a little something extra. She's also a switch too, though, so maybe it has to do with attitude y'know, What YOU think of yourself. Any opinions?
 
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