destinie21
Daddy's Brat
- Joined
- May 27, 2003
- Posts
- 3,612
Hi all,
I'd love for you to read my story and offer any feedback I realize that I am a newbie but wasn't everyone at one point.
all criticism will be taken as constructive criticism whether it was meant that way or not please feel free to share your opinions
the link to my story is listed below
my story
Also I am aware that there are a few places I missed during editing process so please don't comment overly much about that
I have submitted a part two to this story which by the way is entitled the bitch and part two has been edited more carefully
also I've added a little preveiw of part two in order to get suggestions on what to do next . I welcome ideas or just personal details the readers might like to see as far as clothing or change of scenery or even the introduction of a new character
I was toying with the idea of letting readers ,or other authors or even characters from other stories (with permisson from their creator of course ) make cameo apperances in this or future series.
The Bitch 2(preview)
“Aren’t you even going to say hi to me “
I whispered running my tongue over her ear and tightening my grip on her hair
she smiled and replied “ I don’t really think it’s necessary to greet someone who’s already felt me up”
I loosened my grip on her hair and let it cascade down her back and motioned to the lesson plans saying
“ you may want to put those away before they get messed up”
she quickly complied and slipped the lesson onto a drawer as I sat on the desk spreading my legs showing her that I had once again discarded my panties and the only thing between her and my wet pussy was a thin strip of pubic hair.
I weaved my fingers into her hair and leaned down to kiss the lips that had been on my mind all day . while her lips and tongue were busy with my mouth her finger s were making their way up my legs to my drenched sex
thanks for your time
I'd love for you to read my story and offer any feedback I realize that I am a newbie but wasn't everyone at one point.
all criticism will be taken as constructive criticism whether it was meant that way or not please feel free to share your opinions
the link to my story is listed below
my story
Also I am aware that there are a few places I missed during editing process so please don't comment overly much about that
I have submitted a part two to this story which by the way is entitled the bitch and part two has been edited more carefully
also I've added a little preveiw of part two in order to get suggestions on what to do next . I welcome ideas or just personal details the readers might like to see as far as clothing or change of scenery or even the introduction of a new character
I was toying with the idea of letting readers ,or other authors or even characters from other stories (with permisson from their creator of course ) make cameo apperances in this or future series.
The Bitch 2(preview)
“Aren’t you even going to say hi to me “
I whispered running my tongue over her ear and tightening my grip on her hair
she smiled and replied “ I don’t really think it’s necessary to greet someone who’s already felt me up”
I loosened my grip on her hair and let it cascade down her back and motioned to the lesson plans saying
“ you may want to put those away before they get messed up”
she quickly complied and slipped the lesson onto a drawer as I sat on the desk spreading my legs showing her that I had once again discarded my panties and the only thing between her and my wet pussy was a thin strip of pubic hair.
I weaved my fingers into her hair and leaned down to kiss the lips that had been on my mind all day . while her lips and tongue were busy with my mouth her finger s were making their way up my legs to my drenched sex
thanks for your time
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