My Story - Special Day - http://www.chyoo.com:81/index.php/main.story.cover/3838

[narlen]

Alrighty well I started this a while ago, got most of the details about how i want things to go down but haven't really gone anywhere with it yet. Then Uni stopped for this semesterr & my motivation kinda disappeared as i used to write the story on the bus on the way to Uni. Anyway, Uni goes back next week so hopefully i'll get back to it, i set out a few small plot lines i wanted to follow in my head I just need to get down to work on it really.

So basically I thought i'd just post here to let ya all know as nobody has added any threads to it which makes me sad. Hopefully i can stir up some interest. Also i'd appreciate it if ya offered some constructive criticism about it, I haven't really done ALOT of story writing in the past, just a few short stories which i was never completely happy with. I hope what i've put hasn't sorta seemed fake or rambling on for too long, I've just got a very specific mind control technique in mind & wanted to make sure i explained it all before i started spreading out & using it & so i might have sorta rambled on and people may lose interest.

So please help me out, hope you enjoy it & we can work on it, I've often got alot of ideas but not really sure how to express it and fill it out, let me know, thanks.

Narlen - http://www.chyoo.com:81/index.php/main.story.cover/3838

 

[jakelyon]

Nice Job

I think this is a very good story line and it will be interesting to see where it heads. I liked the buildup and the explanation of the "powers".

Are you planning on allowing other "powers" to develop, or just the one you introduced?

In any event it is well thought out, well written, and a good read.

 

[narlen]

Hey good to see someone likes it Um I hadn't planned anything much beyond the features i set out. I had the thought of a strengthening where James can leave a sort of imprint on a girl so that he doesn't need to actually see the girl to form the link, basically it would be a link of it's own just with rather limited control of the person (It was sorta hinted that seeing the person was required when he attempted to get into his mothers head when she was in another room).

The big set up was probably because i like the idea of mind control (i'm not into BDSM but having that sort of power over someone else is certainly a turn on) but the idea of 'absolute power' just doesn't appeal to me because it's quite ridiculous, I think that there need to be certain limitations to the power & wanted to make sure i set them up.

Any suggestions would be great, definately take em into consideration or add em yourself Thanks for the feedback.

Narlen

 

[narlen]

New threads, TWO of em

Alrighty well i finally got round to adding some new threads to my story, Temptations and Surprises, feedback is greatly appreciated (as always), especially as I haven't had much (or probably any) experience in writing any of the more important parts of erotica before, if ya get what i mean

Don't worry this story will eventually branch when i get round to it, i've got several other ideas for character written down, i just wanted to explore this option more fully first

Anyway hope ya enjoy reading it as much as (or more than) i did writing it

 

[narlen]

Another one by me, i think i'll do another one more thread before i start to explore a different line, who knows. Anyway Enjoy