My story "Sharking Day" feedback needed

[Totzman]

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=374693

Would like to see some feedback. Comments would help motivate me to continue this story if there is interest.

 

[J.Q. Hack]

"Sharking Day" feedback

Well I read your story and I enjoyed it. I liked the erotic elements you combined with the girls having their clothes yanked down and somebody filming it.

I'd suggest you continue with the writing of the story. However if the second part continues basically as the first part went some people might get bored with it. What I mean is the plot didn't seem to develop much beyond the point of girls getting their clothes pulled down. So I think I'd want to see something a little more than you had going on here. I guess if the girls have a plan to get back at the ATZ guys I'd like to see it unfold a little more. I don't know what you plan on doing with the second one but I thought I'd just offer a suggestion.

J.Q.

 

[ttvttp]

I liked it except that the women hated it. I wanted women to start liking it not hating it.

 

[Guest]

I liked it except that the women hated it. I wanted women to start liking it not hating it.

I suspect that the only women who will like it are those into public humiliation--a very small number, I would guess. Otherwise, you're describing a woman's nightmare, not a sexual turn-on.

And, since you are incorporating so many female "victims," you're not giving your female readers a single character with whom to identify, someone whose emotional reactions to the humiliation can resonate with the readers.

While your theme isn't my "meat," so to speak, you write pretty well.