My stories: what do you think?

[SlyKitten]

I am a bit uncomfortable posting my stories on the boards but I would greatly appreciate unbiased, constructive criticism on my first submissions.

Jeff
Professor Cross
Richard
Mr Braun
Thank you
Sly

 

[msboy8]

I read them and voted on all 3 but only commented on 2. Good stuff, keep writing.

 

[Kettle Corn]

Very Good, you will get some comments. Just give me a sec.

 

[firespin]

very nice, chaton espiegle

keep up the good work. I wondered why you had that measuring tape!

- d

 

[silverwhisper]

SK, while i think you're talented, i also think that you were in a rush. i would have preferred for jeff and richard to be a bit longer, to be honest, although in professor cross, the brevity worked well i thought.

ed

 

[SlyKitten]

SK, while i think you're talented, i also think that you were in a rush. i would have preferred for jeff and richard to be a bit longer, to be honest, although in professor cross, the brevity worked well i thought.

ed

Thanks to everyone who commented.
I had this comment a couple of times too; that my stories should be longer.
I have this tendency to be right to the point and a bit technical. Though I read a lot, I have problems including tension and build up in my writing. Maybe it gets lost in translation...
Any ideas on how to be a little less eager?

 

[silverwhisper]

as odd as this may sound, i would have preferred to have a bit more in the way of psychology in the two pieces i mentioned. :>

ed

 

[SlyKitten]

I'll see what I can do Thanks.

 

[silverwhisper]

you know how to build tension when you're in the bedroom. building dramatic tension in your writing is the same thing: it's just the process that's different.

btw, if you put the following link in your user profile, it would be easier for some of us to find your work. :>

http://english.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=480717&page=submissions

ed

 

[Uncle David]

!!!!!