My Sons Problems

[cg_allstar]

am I the only one who thinks snowballs is the 14 year old?

No, you're not the only one. Just for laughs, do a search on all of his posts. He's got the online style of a teenager. Not to mention that half of his posts are about penis size.

 

[sheath]

Ill keep that in mind but he's not having sex just fingering and eating out.

Okay. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I tend to think that the emotional connection between two people can create the most amazing sex imaginable...even if that sex involves only fingers, lips, hell, even a voice over the telephone.

Granted, there are those who at fourteen are more mature than some twice their age. Your son might well be old enough to understand the ramifications of what he is doing, but your first post indicates that he's not.

Look ahead into the future, ten years from now. He will be 24, and likely ready to think about settling down. What kind of emotional mess is he going to be when it comes to sexuality? With all the experience he might turn out to be a great lover by the time he's 24, but he might also be one of those guys who takes sex for granted. As a parent, you are in the position to change that outlook on sexuality.

Stress that sex is important, and should never be taken lightly. That means not seeing 'fingering' or 'oral' as an alternative to sex, but as a sexual act itself. Maybe he doesn't see it that way now, but later he will meet fantastic women who probably WILL see it that way, and his lack of respect for all parts of sexuality can cause some serious problems for that relationship.

In short, and this is going to be harsh...allowing your son to have sex at fourteen, giving him advice on how to be a better lover, and not emphasizing the emotional aspects of sex is doing a disservice to him. He needs to know how important his sexuality is. By giving it away to any passing crush he might have is showing a serious immaturity, and by encouraging it, you are allowing him to see sex in a light that has nothing to do with respect.

Just two cents from a very opinionated parent...

S.

 

[Sailbad the Sinner]

My son and I have always been close and have always talked about are problems too each other. I talk to my friends at work and maybe set him up on date's if he's lonley or whatever. But latley theres been something bothering him and i finally asked him what it is he says " Dad im not good at sex im not good at satisfying her with my tongue or with my fingers or both im not good with anyone help me" Im not a great lover myself since my wife left and I'm unsure of what to do. What should i tell him?

Talk to hookers until you find one with a heart. Yes, there are some. Explain the situation, give her some extra cash, and hopefully your son will come out a man.

 

[Mstrskey]

OK...I want to start this off by saying that as a parent I would never come to an adult sexually oriented board to seek advice for CHILD on sexual tips and tricks!! I am happy that you and your son have a close enough bond that you can discuss his sexual shortcomings, but I am very disturbed that you seem to have ZERO problem with him experimenting sexually at age 14!! Oral and digital manipulation of the female vagina is SEX, IMHO, and to not be concerned that your 14 yr. old is sexually active seems grossly irresponsible.
Also; I admire and respect many of the posters here, and I have gone to them for advice and/or information on a variety of topics, however I don't think the internet forum is the right place to get advice on this type of a parent-child issue.

Now then, I'll say this. I have known many 14 year old boys in my time. I work in education and child care and in fact have several 14 yr. old boys under my care and I can tell you that no young man at that age is concerned with their technique! They're happy to be getting to touch a boob! They still get aroused by the Victorias Secret catalog! They don't sit around and after a session of heavy petting ask the young woman playing spin the bottle " Was it good for you?" This is because they are still CHILDREN!! As such they are still very egocentric and rarely if ever capable of the level of commitment and compassion required to be concerned about the emotional gratification of others. Sexual stimulation at this point is still very much about discovering what feels good to THEM! What gets them aroused. This is normal and healthy. This is the age when your son will be discovering what his likes and dislikes are and then once he is comfortable in his own skin he will be capable of giving the attention to others that will make him a good lover. To be concerned with his ability to give pleasure at an age when most young men still giggle at the word ERECTION is just to far fetched for me to believe.

My advice is to tell your son that he's rushing into things a little to fast and that he has all the time in the world to learn to be a good lover. He needs to concentrate now on growing up, finding his own way and learning to make himself happy.
Just another mommy's 2 cents.

 

[Sailbad the Sinner]

OK...I want to start this off by saying that as a parent I would never come to an adult sexually oriented board to seek advice for CHILD on sexual tips and tricks!! I am happy that you and your son have a close enough bond that you can discuss his sexual shortcomings, but I am very disturbed that you seem to have ZERO problem with him experimenting sexually at age 14!! Oral and digital manipulation of the female vagina is SEX, IMHO, and to not be concerned that your 14 yr. old is sexually active seems grossly irresponsible.
Also; I admire and respect many of the posters here, and I have gone to them for advice and/or information on a variety of topics, however I don't think the internet forum is the right place to get advice on this type of a parent-child issue.

Now then, I'll say this. I have known many 14 year old boys in my time. I work in education and child care and in fact have several 14 yr. old boys under my care and I can tell you that no young man at that age is concerned with their technique! They're happy to be getting to touch a boob! They still get aroused by the Victorias Secret catalog! They don't sit around and after a session of heavy petting ask the young woman playing spin the bottle " Was it good for you?" This is because they are still CHILDREN!! As such they are still very egocentric and rarely if ever capable of the level of commitment and compassion required to be concerned about the emotional gratification of others. Sexual stimulation at this point is still very much about discovering what feels good to THEM! What gets them aroused. This is normal and healthy. This is the age when your son will be discovering what his likes and dislikes are and then once he is comfortable in his own skin he will be capable of giving the attention to others that will make him a good lover. To be concerned with his ability to give pleasure at an age when most young men still giggle at the word ERECTION is just to far fetched for me to believe.

My advice is to tell your son that he's rushing into things a little to fast and that he has all the time in the world to learn to be a good lover. He needs to concentrate now on growing up, finding his own way and learning to make himself happy.
Just another mommy's 2 cents.

Long winded and going nowhere. Screw the intellectual bullshit, the young man needs relief. At his age, making love is a pump and stroke. Love, after a bit of maturity is maybe a 50/50 chance. Let both sexes let go with hormones. Safe sex, condoms, etal. When maturity is reached, then a couple might have a maybe.

 

[Mstrskey]

Long winded and going nowhere. Screw the intellectual bullshit, the young man needs relief. At his age, making love is a pump and stroke. Love, after a bit of maturity is maybe a 50/50 chance. Let both sexes let go with hormones. Safe sex, condoms, etal. When maturity is reached, then a couple might have a maybe.

In the immortal words of Charlie Brown.... GOOD GRIEF!

 

[sheath]

Long winded and going nowhere. Screw the intellectual bullshit, the young man needs relief. At his age, making love is a pump and stroke. Love, after a bit of maturity is maybe a 50/50 chance. Let both sexes let go with hormones. Safe sex, condoms, etal. When maturity is reached, then a couple might have a maybe.

I'm guessing you're...uh...thirteen?

Or just cynical as hell, which is probably based on your cavalier attitude toward something that should be special.

But of course, I'm just guessing.



S.

 

[Lust Engine]

I'm guessing you're...uh...thirteen?

Or just cynical as hell, which is probably based on your cavalier attitude toward something that should be special.

But of course, I'm just guessing.



S.

I'd guess cynical or stupid. Either way, it doesn't help the situation nor doe sit show any compassion or help in resolving the matter at hand here.

 

[Snowballz]

For the person who talked about all the disease's thanks for that ill make sure i do some more research and print it off for him. And ive told him my opinion on how i think he should wait longer even if they've been together for a while. He's just an average teen-ager the things he says the kids do at school. He told me that girls go out with guys for two weeks and they give them head and then the guys dump them. Ive told him that if he wants to have sex remember about aids and condoms ect im not that bad of a parent. Thank you to the people that have been positive on this and arent just here to say that im the 14 year old. But for the people who say im 13 or 14 or whatever ok fine im 14 now will you leave me alone?

 

[Bobmi357]

They still get aroused by the Victorias Secret catalog!

Ummm I like that catalog, and a few others, and I'm 45. Does that mean I still have the mindset of a 14yr old?

 

[Lust Engine]

For the person who talked about all the disease's thanks for that ill make sure i do some more research and print it off for him. And ive told him my opinion on how i think he should wait longer even if they've been together for a while. He's just an average teen-ager the things he says the kids do at school. He told me that girls go out with guys for two weeks and they give them head and then the guys dump them. Ive told him that if he wants to have sex remember about aids and condoms ect im not that bad of a parent. Thank you to the people that have been positive on this and arent just here to say that im the 14 year old. But for the people who say im 13 or 14 or whatever ok fine im 14 now will you leave me alone?

I don't think people are railing you for being a 13/ 14 year old with your kid here. But I do think that a lot of parents nowadays walk on eggshells with their kids. Stop trying to be their friend and be the parent. Be firm with him. Don't just offer him your opinion- tell him WHY you feel so strongly about this opinion. Anything less is almost unforgivable. He's looking to you for guidance- no wavering on this. His life & moral compass is in your hands.

 

[Mstrskey]

Ummm I like that catalog, and a few others, and I'm 45. Does that mean I still have the mindset of a 14yr old?

I think all men still hold on to a little of their 14 yr. old selves, at least the part of them that still smiles at the thought of- as my husband puts it- " Boobies!"...lol!

As long as you aren't relying on Vics solely you're fine.

 

[Mstrskey]

I'm guessing you're...uh...thirteen?

Or just cynical as hell, which is probably based on your cavalier attitude toward something that should be special.

But of course, I'm just guessing.



S.

Ahhh S. once again you say it so much more sweetly then I would have. I wouldn't have even given him the courtesy of 13 and stupid for an excuse. My vote goes to middle aged and cynical as hell.

 

[_Milky_Whites_]

Long winded and going nowhere. Screw the intellectual bullshit, the young man needs relief. At his age, making love is a pump and stroke. Love, after a bit of maturity is maybe a 50/50 chance. Let both sexes let go with hormones. Safe sex, condoms, etal. When maturity is reached, then a couple might have a maybe.

And I'll guess that yours are the children who keep therapists and pharmacist living well....I can only imagine how youve screwed them up!

 

[James G 5]

I think all men still hold on to a little of their 14 yr. old selves, at least the part of them that still smiles at the thought of- as my husband puts it- " Boobies!"...lol!

Huh huh, huh huh, you said "boobies"

 

[CelticFrog]

Huh huh, huh huh, you said "boobies"

James, it terrifies me that you and my darling husband said EXACTLY the same thing.
GEESH!


having said that... I can't give any good advice on this subject. My head hurts too bad today. Maybe after I take some Dayquil or something. Or maybe Nyquil would be better for more amusing replies?

Ugh... and no openings at the doctor all week.
Ang

 

[Snowballz]

"Stop trying to be their friend and be the parent."

Ive never taken the roll of the parent or the friend im more a big brother.

And umm to the "boobies" thing i think boobies are the best word for it breasts are too clinical and tits are too rude. But thats just me

 

[Sailbad the Sinner]

I'm guessing you're...uh...thirteen?

Or just cynical as hell, which is probably based on your cavalier attitude toward something that should be special.

But of course, I'm just guessing.



S.

Read the original post.

This theoretical young boy of 14 has had both his fingers and tongue in it or on it.

Special? I would think special should work both ways in this circumstance.

If he's that frustrated:

Either he's too unexperienced.

She's nervous and temporarily frigid.

She's a bitch.

She's too shy to help him out.

You guessed wrong.

 

[Guest]

 

[Snowballz]

"Bad Idea"

The reason i take the role of the big brother is because i think that he listens to me more when its guy to guy and not father to son.

 

[sheath]

You guessed wrong.

LMAO

Oh, my. Well, in that case, I stand corrected.



S.

 

[sheath]

Ive never taken the roll of the parent or the friend im more a big brother.

So you're saying that he's never really known anyone as a 'father', but only as a 'friend' or, as you put it, a 'big brother'? Correct me if I'm wrong, but that IS what you're saying, right?

If so, you're serving the same function as his peers. You know, the kids in high school?

Becoming a parent is a responsibility. You've had fourteen years to grow into the role. It's time to take things seriously, IMHO.

S.

 

[MartialSin]

I can tell you that no young man at that age is concerned with their technique! They're happy to be getting to touch a boob! They still get aroused by the Victorias Secret catalog! [/B]

i am 29 and i still get aroused by the victoria secrets catalogs
i think jenny s needs to take a lesson in speakin to people everyone makes mistakes in judgement it is great for you as a parent to be able to have such an open conversation about such a hard topic now if it is that easy for him and you to speak about such info i think he would actually listen to you if you told him that he was not ready for the emotional committment that one should be willing and able to be involved in when they engage in a sexual relationship. with that said the young lady that he is invlovled with defineately is not ready for such things i know now a days young girls look and try to act like the are nature but make no mistake they are not none of these kids are mature enough to handle these situations i have a 14 year old nephew who i spend alot of time with he is a good kid but no where ready to be having any sort of sex

 

[James G 5]

James, it terrifies me that you and my darling husband said EXACTLY the same thing.
GEESH!

SMRITSG

 

[PinkOrchid]