My Secret Hurricane Fear: Wearing Donated Red Cross Underpants

[shereads]

Hurricane Rita is heading to Miami, probably attracted by the massive curbside piles of tree limbs and assorted shrapnel left over from Hurricane Katrina. Not to mention the newly rebuilt power lines, which still have the price tags on them.

Behind Rita is Tropical Storm Patrick or Phillipe or something, followed by a nameless tropical depression that will be #19 or 20 of the season. The real excitement should happen in October, which is the peak month for hurricanes here.

Questions:

Whose idea was it to have this many hurricanes this close together?

Who wants to trade their extra C batteries for my extra AAAs and a peek at my neighbor's 38DDs?

Suggestion:

Let's all quit our jobs and become a wandering tribe of hunter-gatherers. That way, instead of waiting for a hurricane warning before evacuating, we'll just follow the herds of migrating caribou. There's never been a single documented caribou sighting in Florida during hurricane season.

Congratulations

to the unknown meteorologist who came up with the term, "Tropical Depression." That pretty much describes it.

 

[oggbashan]

Perhaps you should move to the areas frequented by polar bears. They don't have hurricanes.

You might be eaten by a bear...

Or elephant country. They don't have hurricanes either. Typhoons - perhaps.

Og

 

[glynndah]

The problem is in naming your hurricanes. Then they become rather like pets and want to hang around. That's why we don't name our tornadoes. We'd prefer not to have them at all, and once they get here, we want them to just go away as soon as possible.

 

[Liar]

Perhaps you should move to the areas frequented by polar bears. They don't have hurricanes.

You might be eaten by a bear...

Or elephant country. They don't have hurricanes either. Typhoons - perhaps.

Og

Or move here. You'll die of boredom soon enough though.

 

[Guest]

The problem is in naming your hurricanes. Then they become rather like pets and want to hang around. That's why we don't name our tornadoes. We'd prefer not to have them at all, and once they get here, we want them to just go away as soon as possible.

Yes.

They don't deserve their own names, and are usually regarded in terms of the town they've destroyed (the Andover tornado, for instance) or by a certain prolific year of many twisters (as in April 3rd and 4th in 1974 where 147 tornadoes touched down in 13 states).

But we don't name 'em.

(The bastards.)

 

[rgraham666]

Hey!

The only thing I had extra of was undewear!

Ungrateful wench.

 

[Guest]

Hey!

The only thing I had extra of was undewear!

Ungrateful wench.

I didn't know you wore underwear!

 

[rgraham666]

I didn't know you wore underwear!

You learn something new every day.

Anyway, you only have to sit on your nuts once to learn the importance of keeping them close.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Joking aside, be careful Sher and everyone in Florida.

Ps. I have a bag full of C batts if ya need

 

[TheEarl]

I didn't know you wore underwear!

He doesn't anymore. Shereads has his.

The Earl

 

[Wildcard Ky]

Sher, if you need some new drawers, let me know. I don't want to have a fellow Litizen running around in hand me down granny panties. I'll send you money for good underwear.

Just wanting to do my part for hurricane relief.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Hurricane Rita is heading to Miami, probably attracted by the massive curbside piles of tree limbs and assorted shrapnel left over from Hurricane Katrina. Not to mention the newly rebuilt power lines, which still have the price tags on them.

Behind Rita is Tropical Storm Patrick or Phillipe or something, followed by a nameless tropical depression that will be #19 or 20 of the season. The real excitement should happen in October, which is the peak month for hurricanes here.

Questions:

Whose idea was it to have this many hurricanes this close together?

Who wants to trade their extra C batteries for my extra AAAs and a peak at my neighbor's 38DDs?

Suggestion:

Let's all quit our jobs and become a wandering tribe of hunter-gatherers. That way, instead of waiting for a hurricane warning before evacuating, we'll just follow the herds of migrating caribou. There's never been a single documented caribou sighting in Florida during hurricane season.

Congratulations

to the unknown meteorologist who came up with the term, "Tropical Depression." That pretty much describes it.

How come Rita is getting there before Phillipe? Don't they name them in alphabetic order. Is Phillipe a little bashful and didn't want to show up too early, or is Rita just pushy. Do you have one that starts with "Q"?

See what happens when you name your disasters? We don't give names to our earthquakes, just designate them by the epicenter and sometimes by the year.

 

[Guest]

Sher
you can have my 18 hour cross your heart and hope to die girdle and matching training bra. perhaps you can build a shelter from them?

how bad is it that im wishing that Rita would turn to texas and dump some rain here? sorry sher but everything here is starting to crackle.


*take care of yourself ...and i mean that*

 

[shereads]

I'll send you money for good underwear.

That's sweet of you, Wild.



Unity for the sake of appealing undergarments has been all too rare since the invention of pantyhose.

(Boo! Down with pantyhose!)

But the problem is, a hurricane strong enough to destroy my emergency supply of lingerie will make it impossible to purchase new panties. What isn't ruined by flooding will be snapped up by Miami looters faster than most people can wriggle into a latex teddie.

Our local looters have no interest in TV sets, having learned years ago that electricity is essential to good reception. Why steal useless electronics when you can stock up on Brazilian tangas, pearl thongs and lace garterbelts?

If you sincerely want to help, don't send money. Order the ridiculously overpriced and practically non-existent "Marilyn" bra at Agent Provacateur and ask them to mail it to me labeled 'Emergency Relief.'



Thanks in advance.

 

[English Lady]

take care of yourself sher

 

[shereads]

Perhaps you should move to the areas frequented by polar bears. They don't have hurricanes.

I thought you'd be the first to offer some D batteries in exchange for some 38DDs.

 

[Wildcard Ky]

That's sweet of you, Wild.



Unity for the sake of appealing undergarments has been all too rare since the invention of pantyhose.

(Boo! Down with pantyhose!)

But the problem is, a hurricane strong enough to destroy my emergency supply of lingerie will make it impossible to purchase new panties. What isn't ruined by flooding will be snapped up by Miami looters faster than most people can wriggle into a latex teddie.

Our local looters have no interest in TV sets, having learned years ago that electricity is essential to good reception. Why steal useless electronics when you can stock up on Brazilian tangas, pearl thongs and lace garterbelts?

If you sincerely want to help, don't send money. Order the ridiculously overpriced and practically non-existent "Marilyn" bra at Agent Provacateur and ask them to mail it to me labeled 'Emergency Relief.'



Thanks in advance.

Just tell me what color you want, and I'll get the matching bra and panty set for you. I'll send it by armored carrier, overnight of course.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Just tell me what color you want, and I'll get the matching bra and panty set for you. I'll send it by armored carrier, overnight of course.

You're such a caring giver. Warms my heart that, it does.




And it's making me wonder if I should make a plea for some earthquake emergency relief...

 

[cloudy]

You're such a caring giver. Warms my heart that, it does.




And it's making me wonder if I should make a plea for some earthquake emergency relief...

or tornado relief. *nods*

 

[Wildcard Ky]

or tornado relief. *nods*

Cloudy, if a tornado gets your underwear, I'll send you a matching bra and panty set too.

 

[Boxlicker101]

That's sweet of you, Wild.



Unity for the sake of appealing undergarments has been all too rare since the invention of pantyhose.

(Boo! Down with pantyhose!)

But the problem is, a hurricane strong enough to destroy my emergency supply of lingerie will make it impossible to purchase new panties. What isn't ruined by flooding will be snapped up by Miami looters faster than most people can wriggle into a latex teddie.

Our local looters have no interest in TV sets, having learned years ago that electricity is essential to good reception. Why steal useless electronics when you can stock up on Brazilian tangas, pearl thongs and lace garterbelts?

If you sincerely want to help, don't send money. Order the ridiculously overpriced and practically non-existent "Marilyn" bra at Agent Provacateur and ask them to mail it to me labeled 'Emergency Relief.'



Thanks in advance.

Maybe you should have a website where you offer your used panties in exchange for money and new ones. People send you new panties and money; you wear them for a day and send them back.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Maybe you should have a website where you offer your used panties in exchange for money and new ones. People send you new panties and money; you wear them for a day and send them back.

Will the postal service let you mail worn panties???

 

[shereads]

Maybe you should have a website where you offer your used panties in exchange for money and new ones. People send you new panties and money; you wear them for a day and send them back.

My mom supported us for years that way.

 

[SeaCat]

For some reason the title of this thread had me picturing SheReads holding up a little white Thong with a Red Cross on the front and a tag saying "With best wishes from the Mustang Ranch." while looking at it with a disgusted look on her face.

Cat

She, if it comes right down to it and a storm with strong enough winds to blow away your collection hits then I think a clean set of drawers will be the last thing on your mind. (I know it sure would be the last thing on my mind, but then again I have been called pervertedly warped upon occasion.)

 

[Guest]

Will the postal service let you mail worn panties???

Apparently so since people on ebay auction them off all the time (unless they've shut it down recently...), old shoes and pantyhose too.