My second attempt at a poem

[Screaming Grace]

I am a fallen angle,
Tossed into a world
Between hell and heaven
Seeking redemption.

I once would sore high
In the sky’s never caring
Always seeking adventure.

Then I met him.
He showed me new
And wondrous things
I never thought possible.

Things that were
Exciting and freighting
At the same time.

I was young and unafraid,
Then on my final midnight
I was struck down
To the depths of hell.

I still would be there
if he didn't save me.

But now he suffers
And I know not
What to do,
He is my love
And I suffer with him
In this dark and gloomy world
Of endless torture.

I sit by his side
And I try to heal
His wounds and pain.

But I no longer have
The power I once had
And am helplessly losing a battle
Against an unknown foe.

A foe who took him
in the night while he slept,
He suffers and I know
Not what to do.
This foe is not a disease,
Or any living thing,
But a part of him he can't destroy,
And I have no powers to give
To him.

Except my love.

 

[Rybka]

Get thee to an editor!

Always start with a spell checker, and then check your words to see if they are what you really mean to say.
i.e. :
sore (soar)
sky’s (skys)
freighting (frightening)
-------
erotica (errata)?
Doesn’t (doesn't)


Regards,                       Rybka

 

[darkmaas]

Canadian Advice

Hi from one corner of Ontario to another.

I have to warn you that people here are quite anal about spelling. Suggest that you opt for the American spelling of "angel". There's enough going on at the border without starting a spelling bee.

darkmaas

 

[Screaming Grace]

Re: Canadian Advice

Hi from one corner of Ontario to another.

I have to warn you that people here are quite anal about spelling. Suggest that you opt for the American spelling of "angel". There's enough going on at the border without starting a spelling bee.

darkmaas

American dictionary sorry I don’t think that’s going to happen but thanks for the advice.

I see you are just down the road from me do they still do the boat trips around the Islands?

I am a fallen angle,
Tossed into a world
Between hell and heaven
Seeking redemption.

I once would soar high
In the sky never caring
Always seeking adventure.

Then I met him.
He showed me new
And wondrous things
I never thought possible.

Things that were
Exciting and frightening
At the same time.

I was young and unafraid,
Then on my final midnight
I was struck down
To the depths of hell.

I still would be there
if he didn't save me.

But now he suffers
And I know not
What to do,
He is my love
And I suffer with him
In this dark and gloomy world
Of endless torture.

I sit by his side
And I try to heal
His wounds and pain.

But I no longer have
The power I once had
And am helplessly losing a battle
Against an unknown foe.

A foe who took him
in the night while he slept,
He suffers and I know
Not what to do.
This foe is not a disease,
Or any living thing,
But a part of him he can't destroy,
And I have no powers to give
To him.

Except my love.

Scream

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Don't be mean, D-man. I've been here for one year and no one ever even attempted to mention national variant spellings in a critique. It would be a futile attempt too.

Hello, Screaming Grace. Welcome to the board.

 

[Screaming Grace]

Don't be mean, D-man. I've been here for one year and no one ever even attempted to mention national variant spellings in a critique. It would be a futile attempt too.

Hello, Screaming Grace. Welcome to the board.

Thank you i hang mostly in story ideas but they wouldn’t like me posting it on that board

SG

 

[darkmaas]

Welcome

Grace said:

"I see you are just down the road from me do they still do the boat trips around the Islands? "

Yup. Kingston without "Triple Decker Dancing" would be like Venice without the gondolas.

Welcome to the Poet's Nook.



Lauren said:

"Don't be mean, D-man. I've been here for one year and no one ever even attempted to mention national variant spellings in a critique. It would be a futile attempt too."

Sorry for the attempt at a Canadian in-joke. I should have added a dash of smilicons to make it clear.

Please don't point the the Glock at me. I'll be good.

 

[Guest]

Re: Welcome

Well, I'm pretty sure Canadians spell "angel" the same way Americans do, otherwise we'd be talking about fallen angles, which sounds like an architect's lament.

And as for the Fish-- isn't the plural of sky "skies" and not "skys"? Shame on you, fish!

I don't know. I'm going to have to check the bulletin boards more often.

--Xtaabay

Lauren said:

"Don't be mean, D-man. I've been here for one year and no one ever even attempted to mention national variant spellings in a critique. It would be a futile attempt too."

Sorry for the attempt at a Canadian in-joke. I should have added a dash of smilicons to make it clear.

Please don't point the the Glock at me. I'll be good. [/B]

 

[Rybka]

skys

And as for the Fish-- isn't the plural of sky "skies" and not "skys"? Shame on you, fish!

I don't know. I'm going to have to check the bulletin boards more often.

--Xtaabay

Bait, the word is Bait! It worked! It drew you out of your Hogan (not Hulk) and away from staring at the nauseous bubbling blue!

Regards,                       Rybka

 

[The_Fool]

Re: Welcome

Please don't point the the Glock at me. I'll be good.

I don't think it's a Glock, I think its a Smith. Either way, I think its a method of controlling any erect penis that comes too close to that wonderful beeehind....

Hi Lauren......

 

[Guest]

Re: skys

Bait, the word is Bait! It worked! It drew you out of your Hogan (not Hulk) and away from staring at the nauseous bubbling blue!

Regards,                       Rybka

Oh dear.. *exasperated sigh*.
I haven't been staring at the bubbling blue.
I've had too many other things to do,
although I have been wondering about you.
I heard you were trying to bait me, and now I know that it's true (although I still think you forgot how to spell "skies"). I haven't been checking the bulletin board, so anything you've posted for the last few weeks has gone unnoticed by me. Now I shall have to do some checking (not that I'm curious, because I'm not!).


--Xtaabay

 

[darkmaas]

A Lavalamp Reunion

Well well well,

Our Lady of the Lavalamp returns.
Nice tan by the way and you seem to have lost a few pounds. Hope you haven't been off your feed.

Trust the fish to get here first with the welcome wagon. Don't be stingy, Rybka, dearest. Make mine a double.

 

[Guest]

Re: A Lavalamp Reunion

Well well well,

Our Lady of the Lavalamp returns.
Nice tan by the way and you seem to have lost a few pounds. Hope you haven't been off your feed.

Trust the fish to get here first with the welcome wagon. Don't be stingy, Rybka, dearest. Make mine a double.

Nice tan?!!?? I've been in Nunavut, wrapped up in furs and entwined in the bodies of assorted locals! I'm certain I have not tanned (well, except for that one time when I was running naked through the snow... but that doesn't count!). I have lost some weight, that much is true, but it's only as a result of all that physical ... erm... labor... that the Nunavutians like to do during the long, dark months of winter.

Yes, I see the Fish has missed me. But then he was the one who exiled me to Nunavut in the first place.

--Xtaabay

 

[darkmaas]

Thanks fishy!

All the way to Nunavut.

Wierd.

duh'maas

 

[Guest]

Re: Thanks fishy!

All the way to Nunavut.

Wierd.

duh'maas

Yeah, I think the Fish has a thing for frozen places. It's his secret yearning to become a frozen fish stick, you know.

 

[darkmaas]

Fish Stick

Now now.
Save the erotic imagery for the peoms.
Another round?

darkmaas

 

[Guest]

Re: Fish Stick

Now now.
Save the erotic imagery for the peoms.
Another round?

darkmaas

"peoms" = poems + peons ? A poetic peon? A peon of poetry?


--Xtaabay

 

[Rybka]

Re: Re: Fish Stick

"peoms" = poems + peons ? A poetic peon? A peon of poetry?
--Xtaabay

My second attempt at a poem - Xtaabay, when I first saw you had posted in this thread, I thought that you were finally trying to recognize your skill as a poet. I immediately wanted to respond and say that you that you demean yourself (and that is not easy)! Maybe your turd or froth or even an empty fifth, but unmentionable object aside, you have at least two poems that would not make a skunkfish puke!

Also darkmaas, you have more than two readable poems as well.


Regards,                       Rybka

ps: I think darkmaas meant “pee on” your poems, but I don’t necessarily agree.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Fish Stick

My second attempt at a poem - Xtaabay, when I first saw you had posted in this thread, I thought that you were finally trying to recognize your skill as a poet. I immediately wanted to respond and say that you that you demean yourself (and that is not easy)! Maybe your turd or froth or even an empty fifth, but unmentionable object aside, you have at least two poems that would not make a skunkfish puke!

Also darkmaas, you have more than two readable poems as well.


Regards,                       Rybka

ps: I think darkmaas meant “pee on” your poems, but I don’t necessarily agree.

Now, now... You know that I'm not one for trying to recognize my skill at anything If I was, I would have posted long, rambling poems all over the bulletin board But thankx for the menshun. Eye appreeshee ate it.
--Xtaabay

 

[darkmaas]

poem schmoem

In case nobody noticed,

My glash seems to be empty.

Thru a glash darkmaash