My RSVP Cruise Experience

[Etoile]

I just returned from RSVP's first-ever Alaskan Explorer cruise. RSVP, for those of you not already aware, is a gay and lesbian travel company. It was a working vacation for me, as I was recruited to be a sign language interpreter on board. Overall I would say it was a positive experience - it was so wonderful to be with so many gay people all week long! There were about 1835 passengers total, and only 147 women, so I was expecting to not see any women all week! But I saw them all the time...it was just the same ones over and over. Unfortunately there was a lot of misogyny on board. I bet these guys are fine in their everyday life, but when you put 1700 gay men all together they get a little hostile toward women.

What I found most peculiar, though, is that all week I was repeatedly accused (to my face, second-hand, etc.) of being straight. Apparently men saw my long hair and assumed I must be heterosexual. I was astonished that none of them had ever heard of femme lesbians - do they thing long-haired lesbians only exist in the fantasies of straight men?! One guy even asked me if I had a picture of my partner to "prove" it. I went to the net cafe on the ship, printed out a picture of my partner and I standing on either side of a well-known gay leather titleholder, and that seemed to satisfy this bozo. I wasn't surprised that I was mistaken for straight - I don't fit the dyke stereotype, and I know it - but that people were actually accusing me of it was rather amazing.

And yet while walking along the streets of Victoria (British Columbia) with a gay male friend from the ship, I had another weird experience. My friend had just taken out a cigarette and was about to light up, when a homeless (or at least poor) woman approached us and said "Gentlemen, can you spare a cigarette?" As we walked away, I asked my friend "she said gentlemen, right?" He thought it was amusing that I'd been having so many gender problems all week.

I definitely recommend an all-gay vacation, though. It was so wonderful to see couples openly holding hands, and it was way cool to invade various ports and scare away all the little old ladies from other cruise ships that were also docked at the same place.

 

[CuriousNiceGuy]

Ok this must be one of the funniest experiences people have ever told me!
They were ACCUSING you of being straight!!
ahhahahha I hope I'll get to do that someday.A gay-cruise sounds fun.But I'd like there to be more women..

 

[blackieone]

it seems that stupidity is fairly spread no matter the sexual preference,not to mention stereotypes.Sad thing is,from what you told,the same derogatory comments and accusations that usually narrow minded str8 people do torwards non str8 people were used against you.I bet if the role was reversed,some of them would have screamed about anti-gay activities.Oh well.

Apart from that,i'm glad you've enjoyed your vacation

A kiss on the back of your hand.

 

[Queersetti]

I'm glad that you had a good time, despite the ignorance. I hate to admit that gay men are often viciously misogynist. Personally, I think women are fabulous, whatever their orientation.

 

[Noor]

it seems that stupidity is fairly spread no matter the sexual preference,not to mention stereotypes.Sad thing is,from what you told,the same derogatory comments and accusations that usually narrow minded str8 people do torwards non str8 people were used against you.I bet if the role was reversed,some of them would have screamed about anti-gay activities.Oh well.

Apart from that,i'm glad you've enjoyed your vacation

A kiss on the back of your hand.

I agree with my old friend here, the guys were probably complete hypocrites.

 

[CJontherocks]

Wow... I have so wanted to do that for such a long time! I really need the chance (or the courage?) to just let myself go. Someday...

Anyway, I hope your cruise was at least fun sometimes. Funny about that, though. I hope you weren't offended. Some people say dumb things, but a lot of people who say dumb things are actually okay. My tolerance for stupidity has decreased in my old age. Especially since I've come to realize I shouldn't throw stones.

Hey, it's good to see you're still around, M. Take care, sweetie!

-- P

 

[Etoile]

Wow... I have so wanted to do that for such a long time! I really need the chance (or the courage?) to just let myself go. Someday...

Oh, it is definitely awesome. If you've been thinking about taking a gay vacation, I absolutely recommend it, and I think RSVP did a great job. It's like living at the heart of a week-long Pride celebration that lasts 24/7. It's not only the events though - seeing gay people everywhere you look for a whole week is astonishing. There were quite a few elderly gay men, mostly couples, and even though I didn't talk to them it was awesome to see them there. (There were older lesbians too, but their number was much smaller.) And you'd think all this would be overwhelming, too far from reality to be bearable, but I think that for a week it's really cool.

I had originally thought I wouldn't want to take an all-gay cruise because it was too homogenous. I thought an "all-tolerant" cruise would be better, that I just wanted to be able to hold hands in public. But I found out that a gay cruise is really cool - the entertainment, the activities, everything is tailored for a gay audience. It's really a blast.

 

[exovick]

.....

 

[Etoile]

Did you find that the cruise was too gay male oriented?
Were the activities organized more so for the gay male than the lesbians?

Yep, it was definitely more for the gay men than the lesbians - but the ship was more than 90% men (really - only 147 women out of 1800+ passengers) so I wasn't expecting anything different. They did make a point of including women - there was a lesbian couple in the "Newlywed Game" they played - but many of the jokes were aimed at the men. The lesbians got them all too, but the jokes aimed at the women were not particularly nice jokes.

Was it too gay male-oriented? Hmm. The misogyny was definitely there, and I didn't appreciate that...a few guys made me feel like I was trying to take over their space. (Although I honestly don't know if that was an anti-female thing, or an anti-hetero thing, since that's apparently how I was perceived!) One of the female comedians played with the misogyny a bit, so I guess she felt it too. But really I didn't feel like it was targeted at the gay men any more than it should have been, considering that they were the overwhelming majority onboard.

 

[Raimondin]

Hey E.

Well, whether this cruise was too gay male oriented or not, there's never any excuse for rude manners! So sorry you had to put up with all those bitches.

I've always felt that's one of the reasons why people don't like us and I don't blame them!

Two of my best life friends are women. I could never...I wish I'd been there to tell them to jump off the ship!

I also have had that problem people not believeing I'm Gay. I guess I'm either too normal looking or maybe it's "boring" looking!
Constantly gettin hit on by ladies! Hehehehe! No problem...

I hope your next one turns out to be a better one.

 

[m_elise]

Indicative..pun not intended!!!!!!

In reading the tread about the gender imbalance on your cruise, I think that it must be pretty typical...and also why more lesbians don't go on these cruises. Women are often less inclined to be so public, especially when they may feel that sexism is reigning its ugly head. We like to think that as a culture, we are less sexist than the straights, but sadly, it isn't necessarily so.

I also wonder if it isn't so coincidental that this site seems male-heavy. I'm not a sociologist, but it would make for a fascinating study.

I'm glad that you enjoyed yourself, though.

 

[BlueEyesInLevis]

Has anyone ever seen a study showing the % of homsexuality between men and women? If so, are they relatively even or weighted to one side?

 

[Etoile]

Aw, thanks Raimondin! It's good to hear from gay men who do like women.

m_elise, I remember hearing a female passenger talk about giving RSVP more feedback about how to market to women. I remember seeing their ads in generic gay publications (Advocate, Out, etc) but not in lesbian mags. I don't read the gay mags, obviously...I wonder if maybe they do advertise there. I actually assumed the disparity was for two reasons. One, gay men are more likely to spend their money hedonistically than lesbians, who might keep their spending more practical. (Totally made that up myself, based on stereotypes, etc.) Two, because Olivia exists. AFAIK gay men don't have their own all-male company - Atlantis invites women and RSVP does too. So they have no choice but to have women onboard, but women can choose to avoid men altogether by booking with Olivia. So maybe it's more that women prefer to travel with other women?

 

[kbate]

You are giving us all a bad name Girl! Cut your damn hair and get with the program. I have a few pairs of jeans I can send and one or two white t-shirts that might fit you. (I can prestain them if you so choose). I will also be sending one pair of work boots and one pair of reboks along with your denim coveralls.

For an icon of the lesbian community you are certainly not holding up the proper public image. For Shame. Bitch.




edit: Glad you had a great time and I am sorry you had to deal with idiocy.

 

[Etoile]

What a perfect avatar to use for that statement, too.

 

[kbate]

I like this blouse and hat. (and the matching skirt).