my rant thread

[Ishmael]

i haven't raised any children. i'm just amazed that someone who has raised kids would take the route you suggested.

And why is that?

Ishmael

 

[Ishmael]

A tad bit of info about me

1. Grandma raised me for a year. I was nine.. sick and needed to be away from my family.

2. I did the family tree.. I have books written about our history (190 hours of video of her talking also). I've talked hours with my Grandmother. Her memory isn't what it used to be. And I thank God daily that I wrote and video taped everything!

3. I don't have custody of Megan.. She lives with her dad. Because of our schedules I miss alot of Megans and her brothers activities. I "bagged" Megan last year to go to Grandmas thing because mom threw in my face "that it was probably Grandmas last year alive"

4. I've gone to Grandmas thing 3 years in a row.. Megan is 13 and I've spent 5 (yes five) Mothers days with her.

To me.. my family is important.. Young or Old.. but this time it's about ME and what I want to do.

I'm bagging Mom and spending the day with Megan

I apologize profusely. When you post here you can not assume that everyone knows that Megan is your daughter. I won't forget that she is in the future. On the other hand, don't forget that not everyone knows your family tree.

Ishmael

 

[seXieleXie]

And why is that?

Originally posted by seXieleXie
your daughter is your first responsability. you made a commitment to her and to break that would hurt her. why should she have to suffer because you can't stand up to your mother? she is the one who would really miss out if you give in to your mom, and that hardly seems fair.

 

[seXieleXie]

emphasis added by me

This is coming up on Saturday. I didn't know we were going this year. I made other plans. You see they are having a mothers day thing at my daughters baseball tournement. A little pot luck meal between games. I missed this event last year because I was sleeping at grandmas church.

I told my mother 3 weeks ago that I was going to Longview to be apart of my daughters mothers day thing. She didn't say a word. Today Grandma called (this is my fathers mother by the way) and mom informed her we'd be there. No matter what! We'd be there!

 

[stargazer]

I grew up down South with one of those Steel Magnolias. My mom, too, knew each button to push and how the load on the guilt (and still does, by the way) It's not gonna matter what you do, unless it's EXACTLY what momma wants. Let the shit hit the fan and go with your daughter. At 13, Megan needs you more than your mom does with or without a handicap. I have a 14 year old girl and the time flies by. Spend all the time that you can with her. Find a sitter for mom; pay a taxi to take her to the Mother/Daughter function if you have to; but, spend the day with Megan. Remember, you are a mother, too. Good Luck!

 

[sch00lteacher]

Being a female would not Megan be invited to the gathering? She will have other ball game get togethers.

I kinda agree with Ishmael. I don't think this Mother's Day get together came as a surprise, not if you do it every year.

Is grandma going to be here next year? 93 is pushing it.

I am not even considering your mother when I say these things.

Rock and a hard place...

 

[bluespoke]

Megan is a very understanding compassionate girl. Older than her 13 years. She understands when I don't make it to her special things.

I've missed alot of them.. 6th grade graduation.. Band concerts.. I wasn't there when she needed answers to what kind of feminine products to use.

Time for me to go..

I can't control the tears anymore

FG, you know that you are going to do the right thing for you - go with your daughter.

You have a good heart, you sacrifice all the time.

For once it is time for you to look after you.

{{{hugs}}}

 

[Calamity Jane]

Freaks... I'd go with my daughter.

I know that you're trying to stop the cycle with your mom... and I know how hard that can be.

If your grandmother understands, then I think that's all that matters. Let mom be pissed off. Don't apolgize. Don't let her make this something you should feel bad about... it's her problem, not yours.