My Pussy.. or A Short History of Pussies in the Ukraine

[neonlyte]

I'd better add the Pussy before anyone complains: (see below)

The story so far: the Brother-in-Law (aged 75 - widowed 2 years) falls for a 36year old blond Ukrainian bimbo. Arguments ensued between Brother and Sister (the wife) resulting in our agreeing to let him live his own life. (Cue: big mistake)

The Ukrainian moves in, with 16 year old daughter, who insists on walking arounbd the one bedroomed apartment naked!!!! Or so we have been told!

Her Mum (blond slim Ukrainian with a Fanny (front side for USA readers) so well defined in skin tight Lycra you can almost smell it) tells Brother-in-Law that despite being estranged from Ukrainian husband (living upstairs) no F**KING is allowed... but blow jobs are available at €xxx.xx per job, (extra for daughter). Or so we have been told.

€75,000.00 later... Brother-in-Law finds himself penniless, erectile dysfunctant (or so we have been told) and out of his mind because he can't afford expensive food for Pussy: cue Photo.

He expires (Brother-in-Law). Retreats to beneath the bed. Ukrainian bimbo scarpers, (with cumuli daughter) to plough fresh (if senile) pastures. Meanwhile, so called Ukrainian husband has fled to Ukraine after mysterious stabbing of building worker to whom three months wages were owed.

After two days, Brother-in-Law is found under bed. ENTER CENTER your Hero (the Wife) B-in-L is dispatched to hospital, then nursing home.

We inherit Pussy.

The bastard pukes up hair balls!!! Fuck me! I can put up with B-in-L expending his dosh on Ukrainian fanny, and deluxe blow jobs, but a hair ball puking Pussy is too much!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Cod liver oil is the old-fashioned hair-ball-helper for long hair pussies.

He's gorgeous, for what it's worth!

 

[neonlyte]

Cod liver oil is the old-fashioned hair-ball-helper for long hair pussies.

He's gorgeous, for what it's worth!

You're speaking about the Brother-in-Law, I presume

We onc ehad to escort him to an 'old flames' house because he was afraid to go by himself! It really is astonishing how some guy's maintain the charisma without ever doing anything obvious.

When is wife died two years ago, we were escorted around the town where he lives to meet eligible widows, at least six. Stuffed full of port and cakes we gave up the ghost all too willingly not knowing he was heading home for a Ukrainian blow-job

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I really need to start saving my money now, so that I can afford Ukranian whores when I'm 75. What the hell, you can't take it with you.

 

[midwestyankee]

I really need to start saving my money now, so that I can afford Ukranian whores when I'm 75. What the hell, you can't take it with you.

Hell, I want one now, almost twenty years early.

 

[Dragonlipz]

Several, no, ten years ago; my youngest daughter had a 'camp counselor' from Siberia: a buxom, nubile, blonde (19) who asked me to call her 'Fox'......My wife asked me as we drove home after dropping our youngest at the YMCA: "Did she say 'call her fucks'?"
My reply: "No, honey, she's Russian, they always wait until the second date."
"Really?"
"That's the way it's always worked for me.....but then, I was a late bloomer..."

She (the buxom, nubile, Siberian blonde) still emails me for updates on my daughter......And asks if I'm still happily married.....

I never have tasted that candy.......

 

[neonlyte]

I really need to start saving my money now, so that I can afford Ukranian whores when I'm 75. What the hell, you can't take it with you.

I know... I know... it's hilarious from the outside, and to be honest, if I was single and seventy-five, I'm not sure I wouldn't go for Ukrainian blow-jobs at €500 a go She is one attractive Gal, though I'd spurn the daughter... SPURN... get your glasses adjusted

 

[MichaelWest]

Laughing Out Loud

This is a very humorous tail. I love Pussy, and tails of Pussy too!

 

[neonlyte]

I never have tasted that candy.......

yeah... yeah

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I know... I know... it's hilarious from the outside, and to be honest, if I was single and seventy-five, I'm not sure I wouldn't go for Ukrainian blow-jobs at €500 a go She is one attractive Gal, though I'd spurn the daughter... SPURN... get your glasses adjusted

Yeah, but it's definitely not hilarious to spend through your savings knowing you(and your cat) may need eventual care that doesn't involve blowjobs. That's a bummer. Underage girls, no matter how hot are to be spurned. They'd bore you to tears anyway with talk about Twilight or some shit.

 

[Dragonlipz]

yeah... yeah

And never will.......but, then, there's a lot of candy to sample in this life and one shouldn't have to check one's wallet when yer tastin' the the tangy......

 

[neonlyte]

And never will.......but, then, there's a lot of candy to sample in this life and one shouldn't have to check one's wallet when yer tastin' the the tangy......

Take Pizza, for example. Do you really want to make your own? Isn't better to order in? Isn't it a treat to go out for Pizza? Ok... going out costs more, but it's faster than making your own... and ordering in means you never quite know when you're going to get it... by the time it comes, you might easily be past enjoying it... and it's usually limp and unsatisfying with a soggy bottom. It's the difference between a barely acceptable meal and an orgasmic feast... not that Pizza has ever turned me on, except that one time near Venice.... but that's another story.

Here is another peek of my Pussy... who has decided the best place to sleep is in my shower tray!!!

 

[ShyIndependent]

.............

 

[impressive]

I'm in the wrong line of work.

 

[SimonBrooke]

I'm in the wrong line of work.

Well, if you're thinking of a career change, I'm thinking of growing old disgracefully.

 

[glynndah]

I'm in the wrong line of work.

It's obviously too early for me. I read that and the first thing I thought of was "Ewww! She wants a career in cleaning up hair balls!?!"

 

[neonlyte]

That was too funny for words.

The hair is supposed to pass through their digestive systems. He's all blocked up, poor thing. You need some cat laxatives. Mine have Tonic-Lax that I got from the vet. It's the consistency of molasses, you just let the cat lick it up. They think it's a treat. My cats have never puked again. (Thank God!)

Good luck.

He's far from 'blocked up' I've never owned a cat that crapped so often and in amounts far greater than the food he consumes. No... I'm not poking at it to see how much is hair!

 

[impressive]

Well, if you're thinking of a career change, I'm thinking of growing old disgracefully.

I gotta do something. What I'm bringing in is not enough to support this household without supplementation -- and that supplementation is not even on the horizon.

 

[ShyIndependent]

............

 

[glynndah]

Lots of brushing will help, too.

 

[neonlyte]

Crapping in the flower box is definitely not 'as nature intended'. I was going to use that mint on my lamb!

 

[Vermilion]

Also, with long haired cats you need to brush them often so they're not swallowing all the loose fluff they're shedding.

If you ever want to re-home puss cat we'll take him(?) on -- we're looking to get kittied up

 

[neonlyte]

Also, with long haired cats you need to brush them often so they're not swallowing all the loose fluff they're shedding.

If you ever want to re-home puss cat we'll take him(?) on -- we're looking to get kittied up

I'll give him a map. He'll set off from Lisbon tomorrow... should be with you in time for Christmas

 

[CharleyH]

I'd better add the Pussy before anyone complains: (see below)

I have to admit, Neon. I would have complained.

 

[Vermilion]

I'll give him a map. He'll set off from Lisbon tomorrow... should be with you in time for Christmas

Tell him I'll pick him up from Heathrow in early September