my poetry

[wakywitch]

Hello all,

I recently posted a poetry submission I wrote about my hunny.

Let me know what you all think of it. Have been a member of this site for a little while. I love it!

WAKYWITCH

 

[WickedEve]

Make sure to click the link in the title so you can vote.

J.T.M.
by wakywitch ©

The beauty I seek is far beyond the week that lies ahead.
When that day arrives, my eyes will gaze upon those eyes, which will sparkle like the brightest of stars and radiate like the morning sun.
Oh, how I wish it was that day...

Every morning when I arise, I wish the night with you. Only when that day arrives will I know for sure, will I be received by your affectionate heart?

Have I read you in the correct way, that I have felt this way for some time, I cannot stop thinking about you.

For the days have been slow, with out you in my presence.
Perhaps, I, out of all women, can speak to you like no other, can touch you like no other, can love you like no other....

 

[Star At Sunrise]

Thanks

Thanks Eve, you rule. It must be tiring to have to keep saying "please post a copy of your poem or post a link if you want votes because people are less likely to review your poem in we have to go hunt it down" so thanks for the hunting, Eve!

I like to hunt down the posts with few or no responses. I feel sorry for the little fellas, dropping like stones down the chart.

Anyway, wakywitches poem (section) I thought was a little unfocused, but I really liked the opening lines. I thought they had a rhythm, and would probably sound good spoken.

100... 100... 100... (sigh)

 

[BgMma]

poetry

Like poems themselves, a person has to like the poet. I know many people who like Hemmingway's writing, but won't go near Poe. It's a personal choice.
I personally look at every angle and then I think about what I got out of it. Maybe it was good maybe it wasn't, but the point is what do YOU feel like when you are through reading?
You may never really know what the author sees, but you will know what You see.
I am lucky since I love most types of writing, so I could be biased.

 

[lickmyboot]

I think you have some good imagery here to work with, to get your ideas across. It seem to me that you're telling the reader too much rather than showing us or letting us "read between the lines". I crave more mystery in this poem. It's a good start. I don't know if the rhyming was intentional, but it may be better to rework this poem in either a formal rhyme scheme (something others on this board are brilliant at and could advise) or jump whole-heartedly into free verse. Just suggestions. If you do rework it, I'd like to read your new version!

lmb