My poem: Nil Tanya go vote for it tomorrow

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[Angeline]

Your Poem

This is an absolutely lovely piece of writing in my opinion, and its subject is truely lucky to costar in such a sweetly expressive poem. There are a few things I might have done differently: some unnecessary words dropped, a few line breaks I might have changed, and "nasel tune" seems odd to me, but this is far far from "crap."

Some of the images like this one:

How can you deny me the taste of peach
When all my life I have been used to eating dusty rocks?

are just stunningly vivid and beautiful (though I'd get rid of "used to")

If you're not doing so already, please keep writing. I love the music in your poetic voice!

P.S. You'll get a high mark from me because your poem deserves it!

 

[Guest]

Re: Your Poem

 

[Angeline]

Best Poem

It is painful to think about that--writing something wonderful and then losing it, but I agree it's almost impossible to recreate such things.

Feel free to post more poems here for comment if you like; there are some great readers who come to this board!

 

[Guest]

Re: Best Poem

 

[Angeline]

I Did Give You a 5

again as I said because I thought you wrote a terrific poem!

 

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