My Pink Half of the Drain Pipe

[Dillinger]

Which half of the drainpipe is yours?

How big is your drainpipe?

What color is it?

My Pink Half of the Drain Pipe
Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band
(Viv Stanshall)

You who speak to me across the fence
Of common sense
How your tomato plant will win a prize,
won't that be nice,
And by the way, how's your wife?
Your holidays were spent in Spain
You went by train
You'll go again

Have you seen me bullfight poster on the wall?
Do you know the ?appy memory it recalls?
Here's a photograph of me and my son, Ted
That's me cousin with his hanky on his head!
We booked in at our ?otel just after two
And met a family from Bradford that we knew

Oooh, a melody! Burp!

My pink half of the drainpipe
Separates next door from me
My pink half of the drainpipe
Oh, Mama!
Belongs to me

My pink half of the drainpipe
Semi-detach-ed, ah!
My pink half of the drainpipe
Oh, Mama!
Belongs to moi

I have a sister in Toronto who's a nurse
And I've had a bit of bother laying turf
It's life, not books, that taught me all I've learned
Woop, in the b'oven my rice pudding's getting burned!
?Ere, have you seen the new attachment on me drill?
I must have the cat put down, ?cause he's ill

Hey, neighbour!

My pink half of the drainpipe
I may paint it blue
My pink half of the drainpipe
Keeps me safe from
you!

I'm a wobbly jelly, you're a pink blancmange
I'm a sherry trifle, you're a chocolate sponge
Your dad wears a paper hat, mine inflates balloons
Whoops! Boodly boop! Pop! Here comes a spoon!

My pink half of the drainpipe
Separates me from the incredibly fascinating story of your life and
every day to day event in all it's minute and tedious attention to
detail... And was it a Thursday or a Wednesday? Or, oh, no, it wasn't though. Oh,
who cares anyway because I do not so Norman, if you're normal, I intend to
be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages
and rhinoceroses in the kitchen incessant quotations from "Now We Are
Six" through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric
head.

So
theeeeeere.........

 

[perks]

methinks it's a crackpipe, not a drain pipe.

 

[marksgirl]

The last time I checked mine was still pink and very smooth Dill.

 

[Dillinger]

Postcard
(Stanshall)

Oh, I do like to be beside the sea

Drinking bear sits in Silver's Arcade
Sips imaginary lemonade
Amusement Pork!

Writing letters home
What a lovely view-EE-ooo (blah blah blab blab) (Dear Mom)
"What the Butler Saw" was a bit of a drag
The captain says he's going to heave, too

Bored with Bingo, we went for a swim
Fat sea cows with gorgonzola skin
Semi-nude!

After lunch, we grabbed our trunks
And we all got cramp!
Trousers rolled, the sea is cold
But it's good for chillblains

On the prom, white plimsolls and blue shorts
Brass band playing by the tennis courts
Love-fifteen!

What a lovely view-EE-ooo, I've written at last
What's the rudest one? Just for a laugh
Just married and it sticks out for a mile!

We wish you were here
We wish you were here
We wish you were here
We wish you were here
We wish you were here
We wish you were here
We wish you were here
We wish you were here
We wish you were here
We wish you were here
We wish you were here
We wish you were here
We wish you were here

It rained yesterday, so we stayed indoors
The food's all right, I'm okay, hope you are same
Wish you were always, your loving son Anthony

I hope I get bronze this year

 

[Dillinger]

The last time I checked mine was still pink and very smooth Dill.

MMMMMM... smooth!

 

[Dillinger]

We Are Normal

We


We are (ar ar ar ar ar...)



We


We are...

And, uh, here come some normals...
they look like normal... Hawaiians.
Well, uh, you didn't mention what month.
You think you're normal?
Yes, quite normal.
OK, here comes one.
Go inside! (tee hee hee)
Well it's, ah, it's not for me to deter really, is it? I mean
it's for a psychiatrist to deter these things, isn't it?
I like dehre food, and dey arr veddy nice people.
Ooh, itsalright, innit?
That a face?
Smart. It's your backside.
Oh, they're just typically normal.
No! This is not manly!
Well, it is unusual. Well, it's like a rabbit! He's got a head on him like a rabbit!
I don't know, it's just not like normal people do.
You're not runnin' around in your underpants are you?


We are normal and we want our freedom
We are normal and we want our freedom

Wir sind gewöhnlich, wir sind zufrieden

We are normal and we dig Bert Weedon, ha ha!

We are normal and we want
Our freedom
Our freedom
Freedom!
Freedom!
Freedom!
We are normal and we want our freedom!

 

[April]

I don't have to settle for half. I get the whole thing.

 

[Dillinger]

So, you've no rejection, shall we say... with the ladies...
Well, uh, sometimes I want to...
All right, all right, ah ah ah ah ah

I'm gonna get you in my tent tent tent tent tent
Where we can both experiment ment ment ment ment
Yeah yay, it's so convenient ent ent ent ent
Let's take a taxi through my tent

Oh, yay, my love is so inscrutable
In a stoic sort of way
But, by baby, it's as beautiful
As a tourniquet


I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna
I'm gonna get you in my tent tent tent tent tent
Whoa whoa, it's only common sense sense sense
I know that you won't mind the stench stench stench
Of the sacrament


I won't let this love destroy her
I can't control this paranoia
I'll have to get a show biz lawyer
To stop me
Kill smash smash thrill spill drive fight bite trap scream tear
scritch shout
Tent! Tent! Tent! Tent!

You'll be laughing like a lunatic
That just got away
Howling like a hypocrite
At an auto-da-fe

I'm gonna get you in my tent tent tent tent tent
We'll find out where the woozle went went went went went
We'll fill his footprints with cement ment ment ment

We'll dance the tango in my tent