My newest story

gizmoo69

Really Experienced
Joined
May 26, 2004
Posts
274
Hey there,

I've got a new story that I just started today, so I thought I'd give you the first taste. Any additions, comments or criticisms will be welcome.

The Mum-Next-Door

Enjoy!
 
Just wanted to let everyone know that I'll actually be rewriting the intro over the next few days (havent got time today), since I've decided that the current one is a bit too predictable. I'll be sticking with the same general concept though.

If you were hoping to add to this story, then I advise you to wait until probably tuesday and see how the story has changed.
 
I like the idea so I will be adding to it when it is ready to go.
 
gizmoo69 said:
If you were hoping to add to this story, then I advise you to wait until probably tuesday and see how the story has changed.
I'll have a look and see what's been done.

I wouldn't exactly call the story predictable as it is. It's more blatant than anything else. I don't know about some folks, but I like to warm up to the action in a story, rather than plunge right in.
 
I think you may be right, but then there's the whole 'grab your audience' thing. Nevertheless, take a look tomorrow, as I still haven't got time today.

I will probably still include the story as it stands, but divide it into two threads so I have the blatant option or branch off into an alternative.
 
gizmoo69 said:
I think you may be right, but then there's the whole 'grab your audience' thing.
Understandable. I've been futzing around with a new story, myself, and after a few days of adding branches and whatnot, I'm still not into the sex. People will probably grow bored,

I will probably still include the story as it stands, but divide it into two threads so I have the blatant option or branch off into an alternative.
An excellent idea, and one that plays to the strengths of hyperfiction.
 
OK, it's now ready for additions. Thought I'd branch off into something new (to me at least)...

The Mum-Next-Door

Opinions, additions, suggestions etc. would be greatly appreciated.

Incidentally, I think that as this story develops I'm gonna try and go for a power games type story, so any threads along those lines would be great. As ever though, it's your story as much as mine, so any decent threads will be accepted
 
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