My New Business

[R Nitelight]

I'm selling my sperm through the mail.
Certified check or money orders only, please.
No refunds.

 

[Laurel]

Sounds great! How do you ship it? How much does it cost? More importantly, what would I do with it, should I buy some?

 

[Problem Child]

Isn't it tough for the recipient to get the envelope open?

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Ambrosious]

This thread is brought to you by "Sticky Semen, Industrial Strength Bonding Sperm."

 

[Laurel]

Non-Alcoholic Beer Inventor Unveils New Non-Adhesive Glue

ST. LOUIS-- Hot on the heels of his successful line of non-curative medicines, non-alcoholic-beer inventor Thomas O'Doul unveiled "Elmer's Slick," a glue that looks and feels like ordinary white glue but has no adhesive properties. "Say goodbye to your fingers getting all stuck together, just because you want to glue things," O'Doul said at a press conference Monday. "With Elmer's Slick, you can enjoy gluing without all the messy adhesiveness." O'Doul said he next plans to develop a flame-retardant gasoline and the world's first gelatinous construction lumber.

brought to you by The Onion

 

[Laurel]

More Onion

http://graphics.theonion.com/pics_3726/statshot_3726.jpg