My name is Rosebud and i am an alcoholic

[Rosebud]

I need to confront this and have began taking steps to control it. I was spending $70 to $100 dollars a week on Jack Daniels. It was a good bet that if I was at home I was drunk. My husband has been trying to help me and has been wonderful about it. We still drink one night a week but I am thinking that maybe that is too much. I woke this morning with one hell of a hangover, it still hurts. My dad was an alcoholic and it ended up being the thing that killed him...and he was a recovering alcoholic, for five years he was sober. The damage was done to his body a long time before he stopped. Alcohol took the one person that had meant so much to me that was my life growing up, my dad. I have already seen some things being taken from me because of my self destruction with alcohol. I have lost one thing important already from here and as I am sober throughout the week I can see the things that I have missed around my life at home. I will conquer this and I am going to go get help. No not AA but I am making an appointment with my doctor, I use alcohol because I believe that I am a manic depressive. I have two friends here that have been trying to help too. Thank you Simply Southern and Siren. Angelique has also given me support as she finds out about this in bits in pieces. They say the first step is admitting it...and I couldn't think of a better place then here with my second family. Thanks for listening

 

[Endlessly]

Rosie.. You've got me misty-eyed. I'm SO proud of you right now that words seem inadequate.. I know you and I haven't talked much lately, but I've always sort of looked on you and Mr. Rosebud as surrogate 'rents for all the advice you two have given me and the fact you're always there to listen. Seeing that post gives me hope that there might be a similar revelation coming from my own mother someday.

In the meantime, I don't know what to tell you except that I'll be praying for you, and there's only one place online I can think of that might be as helpful as your support group here, and that's the wellspring of information you can find at the Park shelter safe haven. I hope it helps.. God bless.

http://www.the-park.com/shelter/addictions/addictions.htm

 

[Rosebud]

thanks Endlessly, I tried to check the link but it wouldn't connect, I will try again later...as being a 'rent...let me say..go clean your room...LOL...love ya

 

[Jeff726]

Dearest Rosebud I want you to know how proud I am that you are able to confront this demon that is trying to devour you. I fully believe that you will conquer this and be able to live a wonderful life from here on out. If you need anything at all just email me anytime. God bless and you're in my thoughts and prayers. (((((Rosebud)))))

Love and Peace,


Jeff

 

[CreamyLady]

Oh, Rosebud. You have done something that my mother never, ever did -- and she is suffering from Wernicke-Korsakoff's Syndrome as a result. Her memory is essentially gone.

You can do this, one moment at a time, and email me at any time if you want. HUGE hugs.

All love and strength to you . . .

 

[Rosebud]

thanks Jeff and Creamylady

 

[ShyGuy68]

Rosebud.

I too am going to send you all my best wishes to conquer this decease, because in my opinion any addiction is a decease, and the hardest ones to conquer. I know it, because I’m pretty hooked on sugar myself.

I hope with all my heart that your doctor will be able to help you get out of it, and don’t be afraid to lean on your friends, because I’m sure they are willing to support you when you need it.

You are also more than welcome to get in touch with me if you feel like it, and I’ll give you any support I can.

Best wishes


ShyGuy

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

Dear Rosebud,

I don't know you very well but I read your post and I was in awe by your honesty. Seeing and realizing there is a problem is the first step in recovery. I was pretty bad into drugs at one time and then I realized how much I was missing of the world around me. It was along haul but day by day I got away from it. I know you can do it, just take baby steps.

Bonnie
(I know you can do it!)

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Just admitting you have a problem, to yourself, and to others, is an important step. It means you're now committed to a course of action. I wish you the best of luck, and the best of health.

 

[Rosebud]

Shy Bonnie and Dixon thanks

 

[Xander]

Rosebud. keep your chin up. You've come a long way by admitting it.

All my best wishes, hopes and warm hugs.

 

[Angelique]

Rosie, you know how I feel about ya' babe. I'm here for you...whenever you need a friend.

Best of luck to you and your family...you'll all be in my prayers.

-Angel

 

[Expertise]

Admitting it is a tremendous first step Rosebud. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[Hecate]

Nothing I can really say , except to admire your obvious strength.

So here is a hug ... and the knowledge that you are having a special someone and great friends to be there for you to lean on.

Sorry - I am not good with words with things like this ... but I hope it is the supportive thought that counts.

 

[April]

Rosebud, I am glad that you are going to get help. I don't know what else to say. Alcoholism robbed me of a father and gave me an emotionally abusive, hateful man in his place. It has given me emotional and mental scars that will never heal. My family has been damaged and hurt in ways that are horrible to think of. It ruined my parent's marriage, and affected 2 other generations of the family. My father died of alcoholism about 2 1/2 years ago. It was the most awful experience I've ever had, and it's still with me.

Please don't let this happen to you and your family. Beat this and you give some of us hope that maybe there is a way out of this hell.

 

[Laurel]

*hugs*

Rosebud, you are a sweet & beautiful person, and I'm so sorry you're saddled with such a hard problem. My dad's an alcoholic, and I know there's no easy answers. It's going to be really, really painful. I want you to know that we're all here for you, and we really want you to be well again. Email me anytime - I'm nearly always here.

 

[Patryn]

Take it from someone who's been there, Rosebud...you CAN beat it. I'm not going to tell it's easy because it's not. But it can be done. Best of luck, if you need help or support, you can mail me anytime.

 

[Weird Harold]

As a reformed lush, I know what you're going through and have ahead of you. My E-MAil is accessible from the link below, or through my member's profile.

I wish you all the best in your struggle, and any help I can offer is yours for the asking.

 

[Skitten]

Rosie;
You have made the first step and I am so very proud of you that is half of your battle. I to have a father who was an alcoholic so I do know that it is hard. Being brought up that way makes you more vulnerable to alcohol. Rosie you are a good person with wonderful friends and a family who cares about you. Knowing that you have a problem and that you have support among your loved ones will help you out in the long run.

Going to see the doctor is a good step in your recovery I know that I had to do that this past year. For my own sanity as well as for my loved ones. I have a severe case of depression and it hurts that I can not over come it without medication. But the medication helps and it is not your fault. You are a loving and caring person and I am here for you if you need to talk. Anythime day or night it doesn't matter. IM or e-mail me anytime you are doing the right thing and I am very proud of you.

Rosie remember that in doing your recovery it will be hard but you are worth it. You deserve to be happy and healthy and this is the best way so you take care and if you need anything don't hesitate to ask I am here for you. Good luck to you I am pulling for you as you face this issue in your life. *hugs*

 

[Siren]

Rosey..........

 

[Wizard]

Ms.Rosebud, My hat's of to you for grabing hold of this and dealing with it.....You must not lose track of the fact you have friends here to lean on ......I had no idea that it was this "out of control" if there is anything we could ever do please let us know........Be strong Rosebud and you'll kick it's ass.......

 

[Carl East]

Dear Rosebud,
hearing your plight brought a tear to my eyes, I sincerely hope you beat this Rosebud.

You're special here, and I'm sure a lot of people on this board feel that. Please IM me if you ever just want to talk, I'm a good listener and always try to be there for my friends.

Keep your chin up Rosebud, you are the best.

Carl.

 

[Dreamer1]

Rosebud, I know the pain of your loss. My father just passed away several months ago after years of alcohol and drug abuse. It is sad to say but our relationship was almost non-existent. I visited him in his final months and attempted to give him some comfort but could simply not forgive everything he put me through. I was glad we had some time to share. Nine years prior to his passing I lost his mother, my beloved grandmother. Her autopsy read "Complications relating to alcoholism." She was the most tender-hearted person I know and she died just several months prior to my marriage to a woman she adored and my graduation from college. She saw me go through a self-imposed hell as a teenager and was able to see me turn things around. She died just short of seeing two things that would have made her so very happy. I had the support of my wife, mother, grandfather and some very good friends that helped me to deal with the pain of these losses. You know the feeling of "What if things had been different?" Please do not let your family and friends ask these questions of you and your life. I also agree, AA is not for everyone. Just get the help you need by whatever means necessary. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I am always available if you would like to talk. My email is in my profile.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Oh dear Rosie ..

my good thoughts are with you dear .. i, too, wrestle with my own demons, although alcohol is not one of them .. but i think i understand ...

i hope you can take comfort (as I do) in these words by the great Jimi Hendrix, who also wrestled with his own demons .. comfort because there are others who know how it feels .. *please do not consider the fact that he died .. that is not what i mean .. i mean he was able to write about what it feels like to experience what you are feeling now* .. and also maybe it's good to be in a surrounding where others feel like you .. say at Alcoholics Anoymous Meetings .. or group therapy .. well i guess this board is kind therapy .. i don't know, what do you think?

anyway here are the lyrics, luv:

Manic Depression

Manic depression is touchin' my soul
I know what I want but I just don't know how to heh
Go about gettin' it
Feelin' sweet feelin' Drops fom my fingers
Manic depression is a catchin' my soul Yeah

Woman so weary The sweet cause in vain
You make love You break love It's all the same when it's
When it's over
Music sweet music I wish I could caress Caress Caress
Manic depression is a frustrating mess

- Jimi Hendrix

You are a wonderful person, Rosie. I am so happy i met you. I am sure you will find your strength.

 

[Katerina Val-Kyrie]

Rosebud, my prayers are with both, you and your husband.
Be well, and stay strong.

Something truly inspiring for you, this says it all.

http://www.geocities.com/loriflower/3/awake.html

Hugs Katerina xox