My latest story

[dv8tor]

Hello again everyone. Just wanted you to know I have finally posted another story after an unscheduled (but profitable) sabbatical. (Link Below) I would welcome your comments on my latest composition attempt. I took a little more time with this one in the hopes that my dialogue would carry the story. Once again I have written a narrative involving voyeurism, masturbation and m/F incest. If this isn't to your liking please don't bother to flame me for it - find something else to read. Constructive criticism and positive feedback would be appreciated.
For those of you who have wondered, the second part to "Family Circle" is almost finished. I should have it up within a week.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47156

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=41274

 

[damppanties]

I would welcome your comments on my latest composition attempt. I took a little more time with this one in the hopes that my dialogue would carry the story. Once again I have written a narrative involving voyeurism, masturbation and m/F incest. If this isn't to your liking please don't bother to flame me for it - find something else to read. Constructive criticism and positive feedback would be appreciated.

Well, I'm no great judge of technique or grammar like I see here in other critiques. I am responding to this purely as a reader.

First thing, I found your story way tooo long. It was broken up into 3 chapters so why didn't you submit it as 3 different stories? Reading 4 pages can get really tiresome. I absolutely hate reading long stories and when I open up a new story from the list, the first thing I do is scroll down and see if it goes into more than one page. Then I simply click the back button and that's it. That's just me.. I do realize people like to read long stories too, but I think it would be better recieved if it was put up in different chapters.

The dialogue was good, it did carry the story and I enjoyed reading a story with so much of dialogue in it. It's a pleasant change from "Oooohhhh, yessssss, do it to me... harder.. I'm cummminnggggggg." I do realise dialogue is a very difficult thing and can come out really bad if not done properly, so I congratulate you on a job well done. I enjoyed the dialogue bit.

Incest stories are not really my favourite.. I generally avoid them... but this one didn't seem as gross to me as some I tried out before while still experimenting. So, I guess that's a good thing...

Mmmm.. I guess that's it, keep on writing.

-DP.