My Latest Effort

[sexyspiders]

Havent had much feedback from this one yet.....dont be scared, im used to criticism.

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=206934

It's about a couple who have finally met up after a year of yearnings and promises.

It's in Erotic Couplings so pretty inoffensive (maybe thats the problem).

Please let me know wat you think, either post on here, leave a PC or contact after vote.

Thanks in advance,
Spiders

 

[codygirl]

honey, that was totally hot, i loved it, love shower scenes, love couples that really get off on each other. Well done!

 

[Lustin Kink]

"Worth the Wait Ch. 01" is a great lead to what is to come (cum) later. It's a nice erotic pick up from the get go. Your line, "I placed my hands around his neck and drowned in his kiss." is fantastic. Drowning in a kiss is an experience I'm familiar with but never thought to put in those words. Nice job.

Keep an eye on your sentence structure and grammar. I've seen this advice in many threads and have given it many times myself. The sensuality of your story makes up for any grammatical errors.

I can't wait for chapter two.

~Lustin Kink

 

[silverwhisper]

good stuff! i felt morally obligated to offset the 3 initial comments: they're obviously category fanatics or jackasses. :>

ed

 

[Lustin Kink]

good stuff! i felt morally obligated to offset the 3 initial comments: they're obviously category fanatics or jackasses. :>

ed

I felt morally obligated (being considered a jackass) to point out that there are only two previous comments to offset (not that they need it). Nice try though.

 

[silverwhisper]

lustin: my counting skills, despite my being asian, sometimes abandon me. :>

ed

 

[sexyspiders]

I felt morally obligated (being considered a jackass) to point out that there are only two previous comments to offset (not that they need it). Nice try though.

i do believe silver was referring to the public comments posted on the story (in which case there were 3) but there was only one bad one, the other 2 guys were slagging off the first guy....took me a while to figure this out though!!!!


thanks to everyone for their response.....more welcome...

spiders >( ' . ' )<

 

[sexyspiders]

anymore feedback on story or advize for future stories?

all help appreciated

spiders xx

 

[LaJovena]

Good job

I posted my comment in the comments section.

 

[zed260]

nice stroy