My last nerve just died

[Ryaine]

Hi, I'm a friend of PCG and she told me that maybe y'all could help me out.

I need some advice. I have a 10 year old daughter that isn't succeeding in school, no matter what we try. She's been tested for every learning disability there is, and has received individual attention from every teacher. She's bright, and very good at science and math, unfortunately, she was in 3rd grade before the teachers realised that she wasn't actually reading, she was memorizing patterns and trying to come up with the closest word that fit the pattern.

That's one issue. The other issue is that we have a very difficult time getting her to bring home, complete and return homework. When she does bring it home, I have to sit right next to her, focusing on her 100%, or she will sit and stare at nothing for hours.

Any suggestions to help with reading/comprehension, study skills, responsibility? I'm at the end of my rope and can't think of anything I haven't tried.

 

[marksgirl]

Have you ever checked out a "Silvin Learning Center"? They have them everywhere, they might be able to pin point the problem and help you out. I've heard they are very good.

 

[lobito]

There are many parents & teachers here at Lit, sit tight, and someone will come along with some good advice. The only thing I can say is don't let the end of the rope get near, too soon. There's some way to help her, it just takes time to find it.

 

[Ryaine]

Great idea … But the closest one is about an hour from her school. And 45 mins from home.

 

[lobito]

you've already told us you want to help her, what's an hour each way to help your daughter learn better?

 

[Guest]

 

[freakygirl]

This sounds exactly like my daughter.

She is 7 years old.. and recently diagnosed with ADD. Did your doctor test your daughter for it?

 

[Donna Greed]

Sounds like your daughter and mine were twins separated at birth. My daughter didn't really start to read until second grade. She's very intelligent, but she just wasn't reading. The way I got her to read was by giving her something she was dying to read--comic books that weren't really intended for children. Not XXX comics or anything, but stuff with really adult storylines, the kind of stuff I used to read when I was a teenager, like Love and Rockets. Girly stuff. Anyway, you might want to try to see if there's something your daughter might really be interested in reading, and it just might be the incentive she needs to really apply herself.

As far as the homework, the only thing that seems to have worked with my daughter is the fact that she now lives during the week with her father, who is extremely strict and doesn't mind hovering over her constantly. I think the transition to junior high has made her a little more grown-up about accepting responsibility for her homework and the fact that no one else is going to do it for her. We struggled for years with her on this issue. Good luck!

 

[marksgirl]

you've already told us you want to help her, what's an hour each way to help your daughter learn better?

Good point!

You would not believe the things I've had to do to get my daughter a IEP in school and the countless hours I have invested to make sure she got the help she needed...it paid off!

 

[Ryaine]

Thanks lobito,

Moral support is defiantly needed here. I’m not talking fuzzy bunnies or anything. It’s just I know how hard the teacher & councilors are trying. It’s a difficult job and I have no complaints with them. But every time we get together we are hashing out the same ideas. I need fresh ones as she adapts quickly.

 

[marksgirl]

Do you have a Diagnostician teacher at her school?

 

[Ryaine]

This sounds exactly like my daughter.

diagnosed with ADD. Did your doctor test your daughter for it?

They tested her several years ago. But the problem was she adapted to the medications too quickly. We tried 3 different medications. That made a marginal difference in the beginning. But later were no good. Eventually it was determined she was mis diagnosed.

 

[CoolidgEffect]

Hi Ryaine,

Is your daughter an only child. I am wondering what other distractions there might be going on in the home.

 

[lobito]

ADD is bullshit anymore, they diagnose kids with it all the time and are wrong.

 

[Ryaine]

Do you have a Diagnostician teacher at her school?

No we don’t. That’s another great suggestion. And you are right an hour each way is nothing compared to the time I spend trying to help her complete her work.

I will look into both of these. Thank you

 

[Ryaine]

Hi Ryaine,

Is your daughter an only child. I am wondering what other distractions there might be going on in the home.

Yes, she is an only child.

 

[CoolidgEffect]

I totally agree that ADD and ADHD are often misdiagnosed, but it would be a mistake to think that it doesn't exhist or that drugs can be effective in some cases.

 

[Ryaine]

this actually sounds familiar



This is going to sound weird,
reaction from the way that light bounced off white paper.
Weird huh?
blue clear sheet to place over his papers.

At this point ... I am willing to look into any possibility.

 

[marksgirl]

I don't have my daughter on drugs either, I think sticking every kid on drugs who has a learning problem is a sucky excuse for alot of teachers who don't know how to handle these children. JMHO.

 

[CoolidgEffect]

this actually sounds familiar



This is going to sound weird, but I know a gal whose son had a lot of the same symptoms.
They tested like crazy and found nothing really wrong.
After a TON of appts. and such they found he was having a reaction from the way that light bounced off white paper.
Weird huh? It scrambeled words and stuff making it impossible for him to learn.

Well, he is now a straight A student by using a blue clear sheet to place over his papers.

This light off white paper stuff sounds interesting. Don't they use that green ruled paper anymore?

So he uses the colored film so he can read to textbooks at school?

Anyone else heard about this?

 

[lobito]

I agree that some people have it, and some are even helped by the drugs, but fact remains it's not everyone diagnosed with it.

Go for the learning center, it'll be worth the time & money it costs. She's your "baby" after all, and when you are old & grey, she's gonna look back at how you helped her, and probably decide on putting you in the "better" old folks home, rather than the shitty one.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Hi Ryaine,

Is your daughter an only child. I am wondering what other distractions there might be going on in the home.

She's an only monster, and Ryaine is a stay at home mom. There really aren't any distractions, since there isn't even a TV in the house.

I've worked with this kid too, when Ryaine was working and the child got off the bus at my house and stayed til dinner time. I've seen her stare into space for three hours rather than pick up a pencil to do an assignment that should have taken 10 minutes. I've also watched her memorize an entire spelling list rather than actually learning the words. If you asked her the words out of order, she was lost.

She's a bright kid, but she knows how to manipulate everyone so that it benefits her.

 

[Prince Romeo]

Has she been identified as having a learning disability (ADD or ADHD, etc). If yes, then (most) schools are required by law to set up an individual education program (IEP) for the student. You will need to get involved and be her champion in making sure she gets the attntion she needs. She should have a "caseworker" in the school, that helps you and her with the program. All of her teachers are required to follow that IEP. You can modify it to adapt to her needs. You need to meet regularly with the school to make that happen. Tell the school you want to get her evaluated.

 

[CoolidgEffect]

She's an only monster, and Ryaine is a stay at home mom. There really aren't any distractions, since there isn't even a TV in the house.

She's a bright kid, but she knows how to manipulate everyone so that it benefits her.

Okay that totaly explains it. It is a clear case of the lack of Teletubies and Barny. With out the proper level of TV brain rot the child will be stimulated way to easily.

 

[Guest]