My Last Girlfriend

[PhilFantasy]

I know next to nothing about BDSM - so hence this post. My last g/f was always starting fights with me - mouthing off & eventually lashing out - ripping handfuls of hair from out of my head. Me being a guy, invariably I'd have to pin her down to the floor to stop her doing further harm to me or herself.

Of course once her attacks were suppressed in this way - she became a cry baby - this phase would be followed by wild sex to patch things up between us.

A bet this pattern is all familiar to you guys & girls? Do you think she was a sub but couldn't find any other way to tell me? It was like she couldn't live without the excitement of trouble brewing between us...

Well, anyone's thoughts on this will be appreciated.

Before that though - let me set the record straight - I got no thrill out fighting with her - the violence was a turn off - that's why I finished with her.

I don't like women beaters - I'm just not sure if she was playing some kind of sick game all the time.

Cheers,
Philo

 

[bunny bondage]

this sounds to me like one of two things - a sub girl who doesn't know how to express herself OR just a girl with a bad temper. either way, i think you made the right decision by being "finished" with her. i'm glad that you're here so you can see that there are tons of sub girls who have no trouble expressing who we are and what we need!

 

[PhilFantasy]

Reply

Thanks for that Bunny - your honesty is also appreciated.

Philo

 

[A Desert Rose]

I know next to nothing about BDSM - so hence this post. My last g/f was always starting fights with me - mouthing off & eventually lashing out - ripping handfuls of hair from out of my head. Me being a guy, invariably I'd have to pin her down to the floor to stop her doing further harm to me or herself.

Of course once her attacks were suppressed in this way - she became a cry baby - this phase would be followed by wild sex to patch things up between us.

Personally, I think she sounds emotionally immature. What was her homelife like before you met her? Were her parents still together and was there a pattern of dysfunction there? It sounds as though she didn't really understand any other way to carry on a relationship than without acting out and without violent behavior. Makes me wonder if that was the kind of atmosphere she grew up in.

A bet this pattern is all familiar to you guys & girls? Do you think she was a sub but couldn't find any other way to tell me? It was like she couldn't live without the excitement of trouble brewing between us...

A truly submissive woman does not want trouble brewing nor does she make it so.

Well, anyone's thoughts on this will be appreciated.

Before that though - let me set the record straight - I got no thrill out fighting with her - the violence was a turn off - that's why I finished with her.

I don't like women beaters - I'm just not sure if she was playing some kind of sick game all the time.

Cheers,
Philo

 

[PhilFantasy]

Reply

Thankyou Desert Rose - the fact that I gave her way too much width was due to her parents being dead. She totally resented mine still being alive - and once stated she hoped my parents would die in a car crash.

Immature - you've hit the nail on the head there!

Your input is appreciated.

take care

 

[Netzach]

Maybe submissive. Maybe not.

Kinda fucked up....yes.

 

[Krinaia]

Re: Reply

Thankyou Desert Rose - the fact that I gave her way too much width was due to her parents being dead. She totally resented mine still being alive - and once stated she hoped my parents would die in a car crash.

Immature - you've hit the nail on the head there!

Your input is appreciated.

take care

Sounds like someone who needs counseling. I would imagine that to be able to say something like that, she has a lot of built up resentment, agression, and grief about her parents. Such things if left can fester... If you're still friends with her at all, you might have a sit down. I wish I could offer you a woman's helpline or something - I know they exist.

 

[PhilFantasy]

Reply2Skyline

Thanks Skyline - you'd be right about the resentment. Only one problem with the 'sitting down' - it's way too late for that. Not that I didn't give her loads of chances to 'spill her guts' as it were - but she always kept the truth well hidden.

She is quite the actress by the way - to look at her you'd think butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

Anyway, as I did the breaking up ( before one of us wound up either dead / in hospital / in a funny farm ) - since then she hates my f**king guts. Still ,that's no different from when we dated ... lol I reckon I did us both a favour.

Only now - she's someone else's problem. I can only feel sorry for the poor guy - as sooner or later she'll show her true colours.

Enough said for now...

Thanks for your views, everyone who posted. I'll still be glad of any more opinions too.

peace,
Philo

 

[sifer]

You did the right thing. Hospital bills definatly looked to be in the future.

Good luck with future catches and be careful that you do not gravitate to simmular (problems). I know several people who repetely connect with women that have the same problems. You would think they would learn after several exes but they don't recognise the problem until they are "in love" again. It seems to be a hard rut to get out of so good luck.

 

[Kataklysm]

Glad you aren't with her anymore. Wanting your parents dead? Hard to believe someone would say that to your face.

 

[snoozebutton]

In the words of Barney Fife, "She's a nut!"

 

[Krinaia]

You did the right thing. Hospital bills definatly looked to be in the future.

Good luck with future catches and be careful that you do not gravitate to simmular (problems). I know several people who repetely connect with women that have the same problems. You would think they would learn after several exes but they don't recognise the problem until they are "in love" again. It seems to be a hard rut to get out of so good luck.

I'm known women like that too. Constantly attracted to losers, deadbeats, and wife beaters - in the non-consensual fashion. Its a strange phenomena. The next one is going to be different, they tell themselves. And then he's the same, I love him, he'll change if I just stay with him. And then he ends up in jail or she ends up in the hospital. She comes to work with a blackeye or hidden bruises elsewhere. Finally, he dumps her. Or kills her. Or she wises up enough to break up with him. Cycle repeats itself. I've seen it happen. And it's a shame but no one can break the cycle but themselves.

 

[Mr Blonde]

Do you think she was a sub but couldn't find any other way to tell me?

In my judgment, this is nothing to do with BDSM and she just sounds like a disfunctional person who is addicted to chaos. I don't see this as topping from the bottom or anything like that.

We all want exciting relationships but people do not understand that constant chaos eventually gets tedious. There is a world of difference between the intensity of a BDSM relatioship and the chaotic nature of the relationship you described.


NOTE: Even though I said that has nothing to do with BDSM, welcome to the forum and it is certainly fine that you posted here to ask us for opinions.

 

[PhilFantasy]

Replies

Thanks for that Mr. Blond - and all who replied. From what most of you say, I can only gather that she wasn't seeking a BDSM relationship - she was just 'a f**king pyscho' - which pretty much describes her personality.

When there seems to be no logical explanation for someone's behaviour, you have to check out some other possibilities - just to try & find some reason for it.

Thanks to everyone who posted, it gets my head around the situation better.

Much appreciated.

Peace,
Philo