My journey

[sexycaz22]

You were lost and now you are found?

Yep......excautly!

 

[sexycaz22]

*raises hand and jumps up* oh, oh I want to know details lol

Seriously, many many congratulations! Sounds like you are having a wonderful time on your journey

If you really, really want to know, just send me a PM! LOL!

Thank you, ShyVixen, I am glad I am finally making this journey after years of being in a shell and being shy and unsure of myself. Once I began this journey of exploring myself, I seemed to have came slowly out of my shell, being not so shy anymore!

 

[ShyVixen]

If you really, really want to know, just send me a PM! LOL!

Thank you, ShyVixen, I am glad I am finally making this journey after years of being in a shell and being shy and unsure of myself. Once I began this journey of exploring myself, I seemed to have came slowly out of my shell, being not so shy anymore!

Everytime I read your posts I cannot stop the huge grin from appearing on my face! Ahhh, I know all about being shy I'm just extremely glad it is working out so well for you!

 

[sexycaz22]

Everytime I read your posts I cannot stop the huge grin from appearing on my face! Ahhh, I know all about being shy I'm just extremely glad it is working out so well for you!

Thank you, my friend repeatly mentioned that she noticed that I were becoming more confident and more happier all this week when she were staying over at my flat. She asked a few questions about when I started to become interested in the BDSM and why I was interested etc. It's nice to talk to someone outside the BDSM!

And I am seeing ~A again this weekend - a third time in a row!



X x X

 

[sexycaz22]

Ok, another update....and a new question! (I love my questions! )

Last night - what a heavy spanking session; and more!

Enjoying it so far!

_____________________________________

And now for my question:

I have been chatting with someone from CollarMe, he lives about 2 hours away from me (I think) but it's in Scotland!! *laughing* and I find myself falling for him, and it scares me a little bit. I don't know what it is about him which have made me falling for him....I am not saying that I have fallen in LOVE....it's too soon to say, but still, I find myself thinking about him more and more, and coming on MSN and hoping he would be online, only to find that he is not!

I hope to meet him soon, and hopefully the online image is exactly the same in real life....but as someone said, usually fantasy does not match up to reality!

So...now for my question....really for submissive or switches, but Dom/mes are welcome to put their POVs too!

Did you fall for your PYL/pyl from chatting with them online, and then meeting, only to find that they did not match your expectations? Or were it successful for you?

Answers please!

 

[sexycaz22]

Going on a date....

I am going on a lunch date tomorrow with a Dom and I am more nervous than the last blind date a couple of weeks ago.

This particular Dom have certain expectations of me, and so I have my own doubts of what his expectations might be, but I am reserving my judgement until after I've met him and seeing how well we do get on in real life, as we do get on well chatting away on-line, but there is something holding me back but I am not letting things get away, i.e. my frausation, sexually and my eagerness to explore more and taking my time, stepping back and chatting and talking to as many as Doms I can, although I am still wanting to meet another Dom I have chatted with online and I have fallen for him, terriably, but sadly he is attached at the moment!

That does lead to my question as above, and I am still waiting for some of you to answer it



Anyway......I will get back to you and let you know how the date goes tomorrow night.

 

[intothewoods]

While he's not my Dom, I did meet my current PYL on collarme, and chatted with him online first. We really hit it off well chatting, then talked on the phone, then agreed to meet. He's really really wonderful, and I think it helped that we got on well as friends too. It was like we got along on a vanilla level, as equal friends, and then we can also go to D/s together. It's hard to explain, but it works.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Did you fall for your PYL/pyl from chatting with them online, and then meeting, only to find that they did not match your expectations? Or were it successful for you?

Demanding lil sub..

Its been my experience that if you make a connection online, it will be there in person - assuming that both parties are honest in what they say and do.

 

[intothewoods]

Demanding lil sub..

Its been my experience that if you make a connection online, it will be there in person - assuming that both parties are honest in what they say and do.

I'm very wary of the online thing, but then I did meet my current PYL that way. And I met you, Chris, and I think I have a good sense of you. But it hasn't always worked out that way for me, and I don't think it would be fair to chalk it up to dishonesty. I think when a relationship is exclusively online and it takes on a particularly intense tone, it can quickly start to have this fantasy sort of element to it. But you know, maybe that really had more to do with a certain style of D/s - a fairy tale, romantic, more formal D/s - that was attractive to me at a point in my life when I wanted to escape, but wasn't really me.

Sorry for the tangent - just thinking out loud.

 

[sexycaz22]

When I first stepped into the BDSM lifestyle; I was very naive and I took part in an online D/s relationship without meeting up in real life. That was 2 years ago, and quickly left the BDSM lifestyle, without any proper research etc.

Now I know better, as I did my research, met and chatted with various of Doms online and in real life. I have some good friends in some Doms from Lit and other sites, like Chris and ShyGuy who have had some good advice and I will always appreciate that!

So, intolittlewoods, I do know what you mean, by the online thing, I am now wry of those who wanted to do the online relationships without meeting up, I don't think I could do that....(but I can do flirting online with no problems ) and I prefer to chat with Doms on MSN (the only source I can get to know them as I can't do phone calls!!) and going through a "getting to know each other" period, before meeting up.

I remember when I came back to the BDSM lifestyle a few months ago, I was thinking of doing the online relationships, and perhaps was going to rush into things, until I made a thread and asked a question, and many people, one in particular, Catalina, have made me think twice and I decided to put a handbrake on things and not to rush into things, and after a while, I decided that I did not want to do the online relationships, more likely to be good friendships online and then perhaps meeting up and seeing where that goes. Of course, there are some friends I might not be meeting up in real life in the near future (maybe far far way into the future!) but I am enjoying myself and exploring things with my PYL with the spankings and meeting people at the local munch and club events etc.

So, I am really glad I did set up that thread and asked that question!

Oh gosh....what a long post! LOL!

 

[sexycaz22]

Demanding lil sub...

Yep, you know me....I am always demanding!!

 

[sexycaz22]

My thoughts (from my online blog)

I just wanted to give you some thoughts of my own on discovering myself as a submissive. I don’t really like to label myself as a submissive, as I believe each relationship, each person is individual in their own way. At the moment, I would say that I am a spanking bottom. Obviously, from my previous blogs, you will know that I have been spanked many times by a really lovely man, and I usually call him my casual play partner, as I don’t feel that our relationship is a D/s relationship. It is more a Top/bottom relationship and therefore that is why I am calling myself a spanking bottom. But then that could change over time, either in our relationship or other relationships. With his knowledge, I have been on some dates and although, nothing came out of the dates, I have enjoyed meeting up with them and chatting some more. However, I am not going to restrain myself to one man…at least for the moment, but this is because I have never really been out with many guys in my early 20s, and having never been in a long-term relationship, I don’t want to find myself rushing into a long-term relationship, especially if it is a D/s relationship, as I rather to explore and discover what kind of limits I might have, within a BDSM realm. I am not really looking for anything serious but I am not really interested in just a one-off play session, I prefer to be friends first with the Dom/Top and then seeing where it might lead to, rather than rushing into a play session without building up a bond with someone, which I have a strong bond with my current casual play partner. I will be always grateful to him for introducing me and encouraging me and guiding me on my journey!

How do you define yourself? Do you use labels or do you ignore the usual labels, and see yourself the way you see yourself? (this question is for both pyls AND PYLs)

With thanks.

 

[sexycaz22]

A year have passed....

It is now a year since that I have realised I had a hidden side, waiting to come out, to be free, and for me to be who I am really.

That hidden side is now free, and I am very proud to be ‘kinky’!

I have been on a wonderful journey which is ever-lasting, never to be ended, I hope! I am still learning and exploring and enjoying every moment of my journey, whether it be a good or a bad moment.

Like all journeys, I have had ups and downs, more downs than I would have liked, but I feel that I have learnt a lot about myself during the “downs” times. When I was feeling down, I thought quite a lot about what being a submissive, being a Dom, or whatever meant to me at the time, and about myself in generally in life. It have helped me a lot.

At the beginning of my journey, I thought myself to be a submissive, and this was based on my fantasies and on other people’s ideas of what being submissive meant to them. However I came to realise that for me personally, labels is not important, it’s what inside me that matters, and the activities that I enjoy, the feelings from the situations, etc defines me.

As I begun to explore more of myself, I came to realise that I got excited at the thought of pain play, especially spankings and floggings. At the same time, I came to wonder how it would feel being in control, as when I was being spanked or flogged by the Top, quite often in my mind, that I wanted to control his spankings, and floggings and tell him how to do it, etc. Eventually, wondering was not enough and so I decided to step out and try being on the Top with a sub I chatted on MSN for a while, and oh my god, what a big revelation! I enjoyed being in control, to control his movements, to inflict pain on him and being waited and pampered in generally. It was like a big door opening for me to step in and learn and explore more.

Of course, I am still eager for pain play, to have someone Topping me once in a while. Now I identify myself as a switch, although who knows, that may change!

A big challenge is coming up for me, personally, as it is a big test of my submission, to see how I would feel submitting to someone, as I will be treated as a sub for a 24 hour period, and I am looking forward to that interesting experience, and seeing what the outcome would be of that 24 hour period.

I would like to say thank you to the Literocia, in particular to the posters in the BDSM Talk and Café for providing some useful information, and taking time out to answer any questions I would have asked, in the past and I am looking forward to continuing my journey and seeing where it will go.

 

[damegala]

I am very new, also my first reply. No advise of course just encouraging you to let me know how it goes for you. Im beginning to think I am in a BDSM waste land here. Good luck

 

[ShyVixen]

It is now a year since that I have realised I had a hidden side, waiting to come out, to be free, and for me to be who I am really.

That hidden side is now free, and I am very proud to be ‘kinky’!

I have been on a wonderful journey which is ever-lasting, never to be ended, I hope! I am still learning and exploring and enjoying every moment of my journey, whether it be a good or a bad moment.

Like all journeys, I have had ups and downs, more downs than I would have liked, but I feel that I have learnt a lot about myself during the “downs” times. When I was feeling down, I thought quite a lot about what being a submissive, being a Dom, or whatever meant to me at the time, and about myself in generally in life. It have helped me a lot.

At the beginning of my journey, I thought myself to be a submissive, and this was based on my fantasies and on other people’s ideas of what being submissive meant to them. However I came to realise that for me personally, labels is not important, it’s what inside me that matters, and the activities that I enjoy, the feelings from the situations, etc defines me.

As I begun to explore more of myself, I came to realise that I got excited at the thought of pain play, especially spankings and floggings. At the same time, I came to wonder how it would feel being in control, as when I was being spanked or flogged by the Top, quite often in my mind, that I wanted to control his spankings, and floggings and tell him how to do it, etc. Eventually, wondering was not enough and so I decided to step out and try being on the Top with a sub I chatted on MSN for a while, and oh my god, what a big revelation! I enjoyed being in control, to control his movements, to inflict pain on him and being waited and pampered in generally. It was like a big door opening for me to step in and learn and explore more.

Of course, I am still eager for pain play, to have someone Topping me once in a while. Now I identify myself as a switch, although who knows, that may change!

A big challenge is coming up for me, personally, as it is a big test of my submission, to see how I would feel submitting to someone, as I will be treated as a sub for a 24 hour period, and I am looking forward to that interesting experience, and seeing what the outcome would be of that 24 hour period.

I would like to say thank you to the Literocia, in particular to the posters in the BDSM Talk and Café for providing some useful information, and taking time out to answer any questions I would have asked, in the past and I am looking forward to continuing my journey and seeing where it will go.

Wow, Caz *hugs* That is a certainly a big challenge and I wish you the very best of luck! If you embrace it the same way you have embraced everything else, it should be a wonderful experience.

 

[sexycaz22]

A few thoughts about the Brighton trip

I have been away to Brighton, to stay at a Dom friend’s house for a week. We did so many things while I was there, some kinky activities, some clothe shopping and a nice walk on the Brighton Pier and being kids in an amusement arcade while we were there!

Anyway, I have posted this blog on ALT.com, where I am a member, and I wanted to share this with you too.

I wanted to share with you all a few things about my experiences while I was down in Brighton. On this trip, I have come to realise a few things, and for this, I have my Dom friend to thank for.

Bondage – I have not had much experiences but that was before the Brighton trip! I have been tied up in various positions, with ropes, cuffs or chains. I have enjoyed being in bondage. When I am tied up, I feel really content, I feel like I am in my own world, and I just shut my eyes, enjoying the feeling of being helpless, and not struggling against him (unless we were doing a roleplay ) I enjoyed having him doing things to me, with his fingers, with his hands, with his tongue and many other things. But the best part for me is that when he holds me in his arms, while I am tied up, and I just sleep, dreaming away. That is when I feel at peace, that I feel happy. I can’t wait to explore more bondage with some people I know!

Caning – wow! It was a first time experience for me, and I really enjoyed it. I loved the feeling of the canes on my ass, to feel the sting from the cane, and the heat & pain soon after the cane hits. I like lying down, face down, and just closing my eyes, as I wait for the cane to hit and hit. I would love to try caning again.

Submission – I always wanted to try submission, where I would give up complete control to someone else, and let him use me in any way he wishes. This was a good opportunity for me to try it with my Dom friend for a 24 hour period. Now, I know some people may say that we might be not matched with each other, and that I might feel submissive to someone else who might be more suitable to me. But believe me, it was more than just a mismatch – it was me feeling upset, me feeling disgusted at myself, for giving up control, when I preferred to be more in control, to control the session, to control the submissive (not him!) This is a big part that I have came to realise that although I love to be on the bottom for pain play etc (as you will read in the personal ad about me, I knew that I will not be giving up compete control once again for someone. And I am glad that I embraced submission with an open mind, and I walked away from it, knowing that I will never be in that positions again…..well, never say never!

So these are some thoughts I wanted to share with you.

Please do share your thoughts with me, on anything I might have said, or to ask questions etc.

Thank you