My insecurities bite...
- Thread starter *bratcat*
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calypso_21
Bound and willing
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Nope to be honest I couldn't care any less. I am who I am. Take me or leave me...love me or don't...I'm okay with it. I validate myself. Sure there are moments when I question a few things but rarely do I feel insecure.
I was brought up by an extremely assertive therapist. Insecurities were always brought out and dealt with right then and there.
So do I have insecurities that make me question my self-worth, no.
I am worth quite a bit...to myself.
I was brought up by an extremely assertive therapist. Insecurities were always brought out and dealt with right then and there.
So do I have insecurities that make me question my self-worth, no.
I am worth quite a bit...to myself.
MorgaineLaFay
goodirishgirl
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calypso_21 said:
Beautiful answer.
lovetoread
hello daddy
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Do I feel that way on my own? No
Can someone make me feel as if I am worth nothing? Yes
On my own,I know how I am. I know who I am, its when someone else gets involved that I start doubting myself.
Can someone make me feel as if I am worth nothing? Yes
On my own,I know how I am. I know who I am, its when someone else gets involved that I start doubting myself.
Bob_Bytchin
Lit Class of '02
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Welcome to the real world. 
calypso_21
Bound and willing
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Bump because this is a valid comment...and should be discussed.
Nora
Dirty Pomegranate
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Ok, when someone says something mean to me, or an offhand comment that just feels bad I tuck it away for later. When I have time I pull it out and examine it.
Why did what they said make me feel bad?
Is it a false statement about me? Then they're just a dumbass.
Is it a true statement about me? Ok, is it something that *I* feel is a negative trait? No? Fuck them. Yes? Do I want to change it? Yes? How? Then do it.
Is it maybe a true statement, but I'm not sure? Reflect on it...ask someone who knows me better than anyone. Then see Above.
Fretting over it doesn't get you anywhere. Either decide if it's actionable or if they were just saying stuff to be mean.
When it's internal, meaning the bad feeling is coming from yourself, ask yourself if you *Really* feel that way, then proceed as above.
All the daily affirmations in the world won't help if there's something about you that bothers you. If you're just beating up on yourself for no reason, try to figure out why. What gain is there in mis-perceiving yourself?
Why did what they said make me feel bad?
Is it a false statement about me? Then they're just a dumbass.
Is it a true statement about me? Ok, is it something that *I* feel is a negative trait? No? Fuck them. Yes? Do I want to change it? Yes? How? Then do it.
Is it maybe a true statement, but I'm not sure? Reflect on it...ask someone who knows me better than anyone. Then see Above.
Fretting over it doesn't get you anywhere. Either decide if it's actionable or if they were just saying stuff to be mean.
When it's internal, meaning the bad feeling is coming from yourself, ask yourself if you *Really* feel that way, then proceed as above.
All the daily affirmations in the world won't help if there's something about you that bothers you. If you're just beating up on yourself for no reason, try to figure out why. What gain is there in mis-perceiving yourself?
SpiceCake
On the edge of nowhere
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*bratcat* said:
I feel this way so often. I am learning to ask those aroundme that I trust to remind me what is special about me. They are happy to do that - and that right there gives me a lift. I do the same for them.
I am harder on me than any other person. I expect more from me than I do from any other person. Therefore, I let myself down more often than any other person. That is when I wonder how anyone else could see the possibilities in me.
What I do know is this: "I'm good enough! I'm smart enough! And, gosh darn it, people like me!" Thanks Stuart, aka Al Franken!
Nora
Dirty Pomegranate
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*bratcat* said:
Same thing. Yes, when things are repeated often enough you worry, but ultimately it's up to you to sift truth from what they want you to believe is truth.
Personally, I'm perverse enough that if I were in the situation where someone repeatedly spewed things like that at me, I'd constantly answer, "yes, dear. Anything you say." without any other comment but a smile, just to piss him off.
Nora
Dirty Pomegranate
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*bratcat* said:
Darlin...I should have that phrase tattooed to my forehead because it is what comes out of my mouth on a continual basis.
LOL! It works, too!
One thing I disagree with above is relying on anyone else to make you feel good. That can only come from within. If you have to rely on others for it, it's only a temporary high.
calypso_21
Bound and willing
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*bratcat* said:
I don't know your situation...but no one deserves a dumbass.
Nora is right on the mark there.
I start having trouble when people treat me differently than I expect. One example, today at work some co-workers were talking about undies. Then one says, "stop, we're going to make 'Wiggles' embarrassed". What the fuck? How do they see me? How do I come off to others?
So I suppose I don't have a problems with my worth, but with my image.
I think I know how you feel though. It's very frustrating to try your hardest and feel like you come up short.
This song makes me feel a lot better: :0)
Jimmy Eat World~ The Middle
Hey , don’t write yourself off yet
It’s only in your head you feel left out, or looked down on
Just try your best
Try everything you can
And don’t worry what they tell themselves
When you’re away
It just takes sometime
Little girl, your in the middle of the ride
Everything everything will be just fine
Everything everything will be all right
Hey, you know they’re all the same
You know you’re doing better on your own
So don’t buy in
Live right now
Yeah just be yourself
It doesn’t matter if that’s good enough for someone else
So I suppose I don't have a problems with my worth, but with my image.
I think I know how you feel though. It's very frustrating to try your hardest and feel like you come up short.
This song makes me feel a lot better: :0)
Jimmy Eat World~ The Middle
Hey , don’t write yourself off yet
It’s only in your head you feel left out, or looked down on
Just try your best
Try everything you can
And don’t worry what they tell themselves
When you’re away
It just takes sometime
Little girl, your in the middle of the ride
Everything everything will be just fine
Everything everything will be all right
Hey, you know they’re all the same
You know you’re doing better on your own
So don’t buy in
Live right now
Yeah just be yourself
It doesn’t matter if that’s good enough for someone else
sufisaint
Literotica Guru
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Take sometime to yourself, be alone for a while and deeply look into your own psyche and see where theinsecutities are coming from...where is the root. Sometimes you can actually hear the person's voice in your head, mother, father, siblings, kids in the neighborhood. Than change your preception of the event. ie...As adults we know kids say mean and horrible things to each other ussually because that what they are being fed at home(same as adults by the way)...Are you going to let a child's mean statements still controlyou as an adult??? Once you give these pain some light and a different perspective they begin to fade or change in their affect. Also if you know your being insecure now..do not do the actions which feed them..and usually that in the form of attacking others or not letting others in. You have to relieve this karmic knot you have got yourself in by stop giving energy and action to insecure thoughts. Its a tough battle but a winnable one. And it feels so good to just let go.....My opinion take it for whats it worth.
Nora
Dirty Pomegranate
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Re: IMHO
Does that mean you won't tell me "hey babe, nice rack!" anymore? *sniffles*
Brat, btw, my answers above are presuming that you're not able to leave the situation. I know you've got like 20 kids or something like that so I'm assuming that leaving is just not an option.
You can't change others, only yourself. So if you're stuck, make the best of it and give yourself the time and credit to make your own decisions about who and what you are. Fix what you wanna fix and smile sweetly at the rest while chucking that opinion in the circular file.
Bluesboy2 said:
Does that mean you won't tell me "hey babe, nice rack!" anymore? *sniffles*
Brat, btw, my answers above are presuming that you're not able to leave the situation. I know you've got like 20 kids or something like that
so I'm assuming that leaving is just not an option. You can't change others, only yourself. So if you're stuck, make the best of it and give yourself the time and credit to make your own decisions about who and what you are. Fix what you wanna fix and smile sweetly at the rest while chucking that opinion in the circular file.
