my frustrations with Lit, and my occasional moments of joy

[KimGordon67]

I wonder how you got the idea, Kim, that I wrote my post to complain? And about ALL women, as you claim? My intention was precisely the opposite. If you really read my post, you would have caught my remark about the replies I receive occasionally, and about resonances that happen.

Your reaction, and that from Jada, illustrates the main shortcoming of many Lit women: an unwillingness to read and understand. It is not surprising therefore, that so few replies – of the kind I am looking for – come in. From women able to read, able to understand, maybe even to emphasize, and able and willing in general, to look beyond their own shadow.
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(a) This post of yours is hardly an isolated instance.
(b) You use the term 'frustration' in the title - that seems like some sort of complaint.
(c) When you say you're frustrated that you have no control over the outcomes of your actions ... it's pretty clear that because that control instead rests with other people (unless you're suggesting some higher power is influencing things ... Laurel maybe?). 'Other people' in this instance would be the women you contact.
(d) Your response to me totally lays out your ongoing complaint - that 'many Lit women' aren't willing to read your words and 'understand' you. Have you thought maybe the issue is that you're not understanding the many Lit women? Or *gasp* maybe you're just not the gift from God that most of us are looking for. The fact that 'many Lit women' don't respond in the way you see fit might just stem from the fact that we're not interested. As I'm sure I've mentioned before, I've had pretty long-standing interactions with one or two guys I've met here, that have been intense and involved long conversations about all sorts of things. I'm perfectly capable of an 'intelligent' interaction ... I just happen to be pretty choosy about who I engage in those with. I don't blame the paucity of those interactions on 'many Lit men's' inability to fulfill my criteria ... people here are different, and are looking for different things. That doesn't make them stupid ... just different.

 

[KimGordon67]

This whole thread is another classic example of the issue here - you wrote a post, a number of people commented on your 'complaint', you said 'but I'm not complaining'. If half a dozen people identify your post as a 'complaint', but you didn't mean it be such, maybe consider the possibility that you weren't communicating yourself clearly, rather than assume that those half a dozen people have some sort of reading comprehension problem.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

This whole thread is another classic example of the issue here - you wrote a post, a number of people commented on your 'complaint', you said 'but I'm not complaining'. If half a dozen people identify your post as a 'complaint', but you didn't mean it be such, maybe consider the possibility that you weren't communicating yourself clearly, rather than assume that those half a dozen people have some sort of reading comprehension problem.

I kind of got that sense as well. Even after reading the three lines. If it makes any difference, people are allowed to express themselves and bring different views since this is an open thread. We all can learn something about ourselves and each other in how a response is given. A choice is made to respond salty or with honey. Please at least take the time to savor what is said in order to get the true meaning before getting upset.

 

[AJ78]

My suggestion to the OP would be to remember that the women here are human beings. They're not AI bots in a game in which you try to get as many responses to your messages as possible, or something like that. People will talk to you if they want to talk to you. Whether you wrote a really "good" personal ad doesn't really have any bearing on whether any individual person wants to talk to you.

 

[Iceprincess12]

He’s at it again! Too bad I’m out of popcorn

 

[glBock]

getting a well-meaning thread destroyed by having Kim Gordon get into the act

If the situation here had not turned into such a miserable result, I would laugh it off, mainly about some utterly stubborn and truly stupid actors participating on this thread. But frankly speaking, just laughing it off sounds not quite right either.

Before I wrote my opening post, I had done a bit of thinking about a dilemma, I came to a sensible conclusion for myself, the way I saw, and I wrote a post about it. If any of you hecklers care to look at post #1 again: I talked about enjoying my state of mind then.

And then along comes Kim Gordon, unable to understand what I wrote (not the first time for her), and unwilling to give my post another reading over for possible misunderstandings. And without the slightest amount of understanding in her head, she proceeds to heckle me.

Not that she wrote "I don't understand what you mean, please explain it further". No, asking questions is not Kim's way of doing things, when she reads a post of mine she does not like. She seems to feel it her God-given right to accuse me of something first.

And as soon as Kim does that, other people like Jada and Bihoryguy chime in. Maybe they figured, when Kim wrote this, she must be right, so no need for them to bother reading the original post, before they throw nasty words at me also.

My attempted clarifications don't work either; for that to happen, the hecklers would have to actually read my post #1 again. It's not all that difficult to understand, especially after my clarifications, but when you want to misunderstand something, there's always way to get that done.

And besides that, why am I expected to explain to whoever, what I meant with a post of mine? If you don't understand it, why don't you just mind your own business and spend your time on something you do understand?

And then, to top off everything, Kim the Great has the gall to come back into the game in posts #26 + 27, hours after the silly arguments have died down, with a new interpretation of her own on what all the terrible things are, that I have done.

It is my sense that Kim can kill anything she likes to. She seems to feel she is the supreme justice here for any man's wrong doings. After all, she claims to be a "rampant feminist". And that's what rampant feminists do, habitually.

Kim, I have no obligation at all, to write my posts here to your liking; "to communicate clearly to you", or to anybody else for that matter, what you like to hear. I write my posts the way I like to do that.

When your brain (or that of anybody else) is incapable of understanding what I write, you always have the option to just turn some place else, where your mind is indeed capable of following the conversation.
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[downgategardens]

"And that's what rampant feminists do, habitually."

Dude... You're about 2 steps away from joining INCEL. Good luck with that...

 

[KimGordon67]

"And that's what rampant feminists do, habitually."

Dude... You're about 2 steps away from joining INCEL. Good luck with that...

I actually laughed out loud.

GL - if you don't want people to respond to your musings, don't post them in public fora. And seriously, you give me way too much credit. Other people are perfectly capable of working things out for themselves. I don't have some sort of fan club - I don't think I've ever interacted with anyone who's posted here, except IcePrincess fleetingly.
I totally understand what you mean. You've basically said 'many Lit women' (myself included, presumably) are incapable of reading and comprehending your words. I'm suggesting that if there's a large amount of misunderstanding, maybe consider that might be your miscommunication, not their stupidity? That's certainly what I do when I say something and a sizable chunk of people don't quite get my point - I explain myself, and I change the way I'm saying things. (And this happens quite a bit in my life.)

Buried in your initial post was a brief mention of enjoyable contacts, but the bulk of it was certainly about your frustration that your clearly amazing messages remain ignored by the women you send them to. Maybe consider the fact that you keep called 'many Lit women' stupid might be contributing to your lack of interested responses?

 

[Dribble]

He’s at it again! Too bad I’m out of popcorn

Sorry...i bogarted the popcorn this morning but i will share.

Gotta love Lit...

 

[Dribble]

- I don't think I've ever interacted with anyone who's posed here, except IcePrincess

I am devastated....oh my life is shit...kim doesnt remember me

 

[KimGordon67]

I am devastated....oh my life is shit...kim doesnt remember me

LOL - I know, such is my power that I can ruin lives just by failing to remember someone.

 

[Dribble]

LOL - I know, such is my power that I can ruin lives just by failing to remember someone.

It is just...that of all my Lit loves...i truly thought you above all got me. Sigh....guess i need a dose of reality huh sweetie?

 

[LadyJS]

I don't know about the rest of you, but I found my popcorn

http://gif-finder.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Simone-Giertzs-Popcorn-Machine.gif

 

[nutcase82]

All I can say is wow! I thought TMZ had some juicy stuff!

 

[hugehandfuls]

If the situation here had not turned into such a miserable result, I would laugh it off, mainly about some utterly stubborn and truly stupid actors participating on this thread. But frankly speaking, just laughing it off sounds not quite right either.

Before I wrote my opening post, I had done a bit of thinking about a dilemma, I came to a sensible conclusion for myself, the way I saw, and I wrote a post about it. If any of you hecklers care to look at post #1 again: I talked about enjoying my state of mind then.

And then along comes Kim Gordon, unable to understand what I wrote (not the first time for her), and unwilling to give my post another reading over for possible misunderstandings. And without the slightest amount of understanding in her head, she proceeds to heckle me.

Not that she wrote "I don't understand what you mean, please explain it further". No, asking questions is not Kim's way of doing things, when she reads a post of mine she does not like. She seems to feel it her God-given right to accuse me of something first.

And as soon as Kim does that, other people like Jada and Bihoryguy chime in. Maybe they figured, when Kim wrote this, she must be right, so no need for them to bother reading the original post, before they throw nasty words at me also.

My attempted clarifications don't work either; for that to happen, the hecklers would have to actually read my post #1 again. It's not all that difficult to understand, especially after my clarifications, but when you want to misunderstand something, there's always way to get that done.

And besides that, why am I expected to explain to whoever, what I meant with a post of mine? If you don't understand it, why don't you just mind your own business and spend your time on something you do understand?

And then, to top off everything, Kim the Great has the gall to come back into the game in posts #26 + 27, hours after the silly arguments have died down, with a new interpretation of her own on what all the terrible things are, that I have done.

It is my sense that Kim can kill anything she likes to. She seems to feel she is the supreme justice here for any man's wrong doings. After all, she claims to be a "rampant feminist". And that's what rampant feminists do, habitually.

Kim, I have no obligation at all, to write my posts here to your liking; "to communicate clearly to you", or to anybody else for that matter, what you like to hear. I write my posts the way I like to do that.

When your brain (or that of anybody else) is incapable of understanding what I write, you always have the option to just turn some place else, where your mind is indeed capable of following the conversation.
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Dont beat yourself down about this. we all go through this in here or even in chat, Its a normal thing here. ive come here for a long time and ive ran into the same issues but you just have to accept them. The best advice I can give you, is to not give a damn, dont let it bother you or annoy you or even frustrate you because its not worth it. another thing, its best to not express your frustrations in any forums. why? well its simple, take a look at the comments in here? people tend to view things through their shoes and not through others, this is a common problem online and isnt limited to here. by you expressing your frustrations, you are also damaging your self in some peoples eyes, so its not wise to express them for that reason along.

The vast majority of the time people will troll those that voice an idea, complaint, frustration, and etc. if you need proof of that just go to a gaming site ( or forum) and search up the people that express frustrations or even ideas... they are belittled. the majority of people that come here or go to the chat, do so with the intent on having fun. some will comment in a good way or a bad way in regards to posts such as this one.

however, I dont believe everyone here is trying to belittle you or even engage in a conflict of wits ( maybe some) but rather point out how something is being read or even taken. I will proudly admit ive had my fair share of miscommunication. Ive lost friends over petty words, all because they "assumed" that I meant it in a certain context.... just like some here are "assuming" that your complaining, when all your doing is pointing out something that might bother you. anyways, as I stated before, dont let it get to you.

one final thing id like to add is that we all assume things here... both sides are doing it without even realizing they are. so as someone wise once said " assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups". so lets all not assume and try to be a bit open minded.


hope that helps you out

 

[KimGordon67]

I actually laughed out loud.

GL - if you don't want people to respond to your musings, don't post them in public fora. And seriously, you give me way too much credit. Other people are perfectly capable of working things out for themselves. I don't have some sort of fan club - I don't think I've ever interacted with anyone who's posted here, except IcePrincess fleetingly.
I totally understand what you mean. You've basically said 'many Lit women' (myself included, presumably) are incapable of reading and comprehending your words. I'm suggesting that if there's a large amount of misunderstanding, maybe consider that might be your miscommunication, not their stupidity? That's certainly what I do when I say something and a sizable chunk of people don't quite get my point - I explain myself, and I change the way I'm saying things. (And this happens quite a bit in my life.)

Buried in your initial post was a brief mention of enjoyable contacts, but the bulk of it was certainly about your frustration that your clearly amazing messages remain ignored by the women you send them to. Maybe consider the fact that you keep called 'many Lit women' stupid might be contributing to your lack of interested responses?

Actually, I've reconsidered things a bit, and you're right ... you irk the crap out of me, and obviously that's mutual, but if this is how you want your time on Lit to pan out, that is entirely your business.

I'll resist the urge to comment negatively on any further threads ... maybe, in return, you could stop maligning 'many Lit women' and cease suggesting that we lack the capacity to understand complex concepts?

 

[Misha_Davis]

I wasn't going to say anything, but I feel now that I have to.

I've read glBock's original post several times, as well as his follow-ups. Saying that one is frustrated with a situation is not the same as complaining. Yes, we certainly can complain about frustrating circumstances, but he's not doing that here. If anything, he's taking what are not the results he was hoping for, and instead enjoying and appreciating what he does receive. If that's complaining then I have a great misconception of the word's meaning.

And what if he was complaining? Is there something wrong with that? And you know what? He has every right to complain about how he's been treated on Lit! Why do I say that? Because I'm one he can complain about. Because I ghosted him. And I'll tell you that I'm not happy or proud about it. And yet he has every right to complain about people like me. I did it because of my own stupid immaturity, and I also listened to another Lit user tell me that he wasn't a nice person. Not to put the blame on someone else, they only had a small part, but it was mainly me. I got too scared and nervous, so I just stopped writing back to him. Nice of me, huh? If I was a better person, I would have at least emailed him and let him know I didn't want to continue, but I couldn't even do that. That was my failing, and it still bothers me that I couldn't be civil to someone.

So get off of your high horses. He has every right to be angry with me and others over the way he's been treated. We seem to take for granted that we can treat each other as less than human, and I'm saddened that I've become part of that.

glBock is a nice man; he has his faults, he's not perfect, but who of us are? I'm just tired of seeing him being treated the way that you all are. If you want to be angry with someone, be angry with me. I'm the problem, he's not. He's already been hurt and disrespected by myself and others. Please, he doesn't deserve it.

I've said my piece, I just couldn't be silent any longer. I'm sorry for all of the trouble that I've caused.

 

[glBock]

Dont beat yourself down about this. we all go through this in here or even in chat, Its a normal thing here. ive come here for a long time and ive ran into the same issues but you just have to accept them. The best advice I can give you, is to not give a damn, dont let it bother you or annoy you or even frustrate you because its not worth it. another thing, its best to not express your frustrations in any forums. why? well its simple, take a look at the comments in here? people tend to view things through their shoes and not through others, this is a common problem online and isnt limited to here. by you expressing your frustrations, you are also damaging your self in some peoples eyes, so its not wise to express them for that reason along.

The vast majority of the time people will troll those that voice an idea, complaint, frustration, and etc. if you need proof of that just go to a gaming site ( or forum) and search up the people that express frustrations or even ideas... they are belittled. the majority of people that come here or go to the chat, do so with the intent on having fun. some will comment in a good way or a bad way in regards to posts such as this one.

however, I dont believe everyone here is trying to belittle you or even engage in a conflict of wits ( maybe some) but rather point out how something is being read or even taken. I will proudly admit ive had my fair share of miscommunication. Ive lost friends over petty words, all because they "assumed" that I meant it in a certain context.... just like some here are "assuming" that your complaining, when all your doing is pointing out something that might bother you. anyways, as I stated before, dont let it get to you.

one final thing id like to add is that we all assume things here... both sides are doing it without even realizing they are. so as someone wise once said " assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups". so lets all not assume and try to be a bit open minded.

hope that helps you out

handsful, I thank you a lot for your thoughtful comments on how this thread has gone to the dogs. And you gave me a bit of thinking to do, thanks for that also. Both of us agree that some "features" of Lit just simply must be accepted. I will certainly not grow any additional grey hair over that.

I also agree with your observations on mass behavior. If some people here play on that; so be it. There are far more important things in life than paying attention to people who don't deserve it.

Good luck with your future encounters on Lit! And keep up your positive spirit. We can both hope that a bit more open-mindedness may return to Lit. But if it does not, so be it again.
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[glBock]

I wasn't going to say anything, but I feel now that I have to.

I've read glBock's original post several times, as well as his follow-ups. Saying that one is frustrated with a situation is not the same as complaining. Yes, we certainly can complain about frustrating circumstances, but he's not doing that here. If anything, he's taking what are not the results he was hoping for, and instead enjoying and appreciating what he does receive. If that's complaining then I have a great misconception of the word's meaning.

And what if he was complaining? Is there something wrong with that? And you know what? He has every right to complain about how he's been treated on Lit! Why do I say that? Because I'm one he can complain about. Because I ghosted him. And I'll tell you that I'm not happy or proud about it. And yet he has every right to complain about people like me. I did it because of my own stupid immaturity, and I also listened to another Lit user tell me that he wasn't a nice person. Not to put the blame on someone else, they only had a small part, but it was mainly me. I got too scared and nervous, so I just stopped writing back to him. Nice of me, huh? If I was a better person, I would have at least emailed him and let him know I didn't want to continue, but I couldn't even do that. That was my failing, and it still bothers me that I couldn't be civil to someone.

So get off of your high horses. He has every right to be angry with me and others over the way he's been treated. We seem to take for granted that we can treat each other as less than human, and I'm saddened that I've become part of that.

glBock is a nice man; he has his faults, he's not perfect, but who of us are? I'm just tired of seeing him being treated the way that you all are. If you want to be angry with someone, be angry with me. I'm the problem, he's not. He's already been hurt and disrespected by myself and others. Please, he doesn't deserve it.

I've said my piece, I just couldn't be silent any longer. I'm sorry for all of the trouble that I've caused.

Misha, I thank you for your supportive comments also. And for your "testimonial" more or less.

One thing you ought to know, however: I do not believe you have "done me as wrong" as you stated in this post. Ghosting is not nice, OK, but there are worse things in life than that, believe me.

And as I said in my original post #1: oftentimes it is better to acept something you don't like than fret about it. Again, more important thngs exist in life than that.

Have a good evening, Misha. And thanks again.
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