My first time

[Kiall]

Hey All,

I have recently (within the last week) had my first story accepted to Literotica, and i was wondering if i could get some feed back.

My writer name is Kiall
The Story is called Day break
And the group is Non-Human

The URL for the story is:-Daybreak

Feel free to Critque it but please be gentle its my first time

Thanks

kiall