My first story

[CPBaudelaire]

I'd like to submit my first effort, the first half of a Mother Son Incest romance, for critique. Here's the link:

http://www.literotica.com/s/beyond-the-borderline

 

[BonnevilleFlats]

I am currently reading your story. It will take me a while to finish it -- currently in the middle of writing a couple of my own stories which does limit my available time.

I don't usually comment on specific stories but this story does have the potential to be one of the top stories in the category and you certainly have the talent to be mentioned in the same breath as AlwaysWantedTo, BaronDeSade, AhabScribe and the others who consistently write great stories. However, despite the high marks the story has achieved I do not think it has reached its full potential. This is not to take away from any of its strengths.

The story really begins around page ten -- after the mother and son move out of her parent's house and her parents are killed in the auto accident. Understand that one page on Lit is approximately ten pages on Word and that a page and a half of Word is the equivilant of one page in a hardbound book. If this were a book it would have taken you approximately seventy-five pages to get to this point -- three chapters minimum. This should have been done in the first chapter, no more than seven to ten pages on Word.

The hardest thing for a writer to do is leave good writing -- paragraphs and pages that took days to produce -- on the cutting room floor. But a writer must be ruthless here. A great story is both great writing AND great editing. The sad thing that happens to many great writers after they have become renown is that editors are afraid to actually edit and they end up publishing a 1,000 page novel that should have taken no more than 450 pages. (Norman Mailer, anyone?)

I've overcome that by telling myself the stuff I cut -- descriptions etc... -- can always be used for future stories. That makes it easier to put entire pages and even chapters into the boneyard.

 

[LaRascasse]

I have to respectfully differ.

As an editor, I had the same thought when CPB started sending this gargantuan work my way. I was thinking of pruning the start to get to the payoff sooner. But then I realized that this guy was going for a long cradle-to-the-grave arc and I would be doing an injustice to it if I removed the "cradle" bits. The formative Oedipus complex was essential to the larger story and the rest of the story flowed from the beginning.

As for the details, I kept them because they weren't "flab". They were actual artifices in the story which, in my opinion, should have been kept.

 

[BonnevilleFlats]

I have to respectfully differ.

As an editor, I had the same thought when CPB started sending this gargantuan work my way. I was thinking of pruning the start to get to the payoff sooner. But then I realized that this guy was going for a long cradle-to-the-grave arc and I would be doing an injustice to it if I removed the "cradle" bits. The formative Oedipus complex was essential to the larger story and the rest of the story flowed from the beginning.

As for the details, I kept them because they weren't "flab". They were actual artifices in the story which, in my opinion, should have been kept.

When I talked about editing I meant the author's own editing in the writing process, not the person on lit who volunteered their efforts. I apologize for this.

There is a way of condensing backstory to the so called "cradle" bits are there, just not presented as scenes. It helps the flow. One of the best writers at doing this is Tobias Wolff. His novella, The Barracks Thief, has a story arc the goes all the way to the main characters toddler years and is essential to the overall theme of the work. However, the thrust of the story is the main character's experience as a paratrooper awaiting orders to Vietnam and takes place over approximately a two month period. Then, at the end of the story, the author reveals what happens to the main character and his family over the course of the rest of his life.

The hardest thing to do for a writer is cut good, well written scenes.