My first story finally posted

[JustDivorced2021]

The day I have been waiting for has finally arrived. My first story finally posted. It takes you to a couple days before my wedding and my bachelorette party and the secret I have kept. Let me know what you think. THANK YOU to those that do read it.

Titled: Secret about my bachelorette party

https://www.literotica.com/s/secret-about-my-bachelorette-party

 

[RichardWark]

Well done - I'm not going to lie; in the beginning punctuation was not exactly your friend, but any errors became less noticeable once the action of the story began. At that point your descriptive ability kicked in and the quality increased tremendously. I could hear your voice beaking through, your speech patterns, and pretty much got to know your charactervasvan individual.I think maybe you might have done well to send it to an editor to smooth out a couple of rough spots. I also would have thought there would be some spot where they ask if it's ok to do what they're doing, given that it's a public, average strip joint and with some women they ould be flirting with arrest, or that your character might have some internal monologue about it, but it's not a deal killer within the boundaries of that particular story.


Richard Wark
Wark2002002
https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=5430653&page=submissions

 

[DanDraper]

I have to agree with the previous comment, you may need an editor, it has worked out for me. Or if you don't want to do that, take a little extra time to go over the story to see any mistakes and find a website that teaches you a little about grammar and punctuation.

But other than that, these were good stories and you have a lot of potential. I'm curious if you're basing the woman in them on your own life.

Keep up the good work, I hope to see more.

 

[JustDivorced2021]

Well done - I'm not going to lie; in the beginning punctuation was not exactly your friend, but any errors became less noticeable once the action of the story began. At that point your descriptive ability kicked in and the quality increased tremendously. I could hear your voice beaking through, your speech patterns, and pretty much got to know your charactervasvan individual.I think maybe you might have done well to send it to an editor to smooth out a couple of rough spots. I also would have thought there would be some spot where they ask if it's ok to do what they're doing, given that it's a public, average strip joint and with some women they ould be flirting with arrest, or that your character might have some internal monologue about it, but it's not a deal killer within the boundaries of that particular story.


Richard Wark
Wark2002002
https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=5430653&page=submissions

Thank you. I will work on it.

 

[JustDivorced2021]

I have to agree with the previous comment, you may need an editor, it has worked out for me. Or if you don't want to do that, take a little extra time to go over the story to see any mistakes and find a website that teaches you a little about grammar and punctuation.

But other than that, these were good stories and you have a lot of potential. I'm curious if you're basing the woman in them on your own life.

Keep up the good work, I hope to see more.

Yes, they are about my life experiences so far. Thanks for the feedback and I will work on trying not to make errors for the next stories.

 

[lovecraft68]

Good first effort, the grammar-as someone mentioned- had some issues, but then again, so does mine, especially my first stories.

But the scenario was hot, the action well described, and that took the focus off the grammar issues.

You can get better with punctuation as you go along, but some writers just never gain the ability to paint the picture and you can do that.

It was a simple set up and a hot delivery, nice little steamy stroker. I had a feeling I was in a Dancing Bear video at one point

Gave you a five for a fun read.

Congrats on getting your stories published and best of luck with them.

 

[Bewleybrother]

Write about what you know,"Mark Twain".Not that I would personally discount purely imaginative writing,think its called fiction,lol.

Good luck,from the movie "Taken".

 

[darkhunter7070]

new author

im waiting to see if they.publish my new story

 

[darkhunter7070]

new author

ill be sharing if its approved or rejected