My first story - Feedback?

[Vioan]

My first story got approved this morning, and I'm looking for some input.

http://www.literotica.com/s/viona-going-out-for-a-tan

I have been roleplaying for some months, so I'm okay with describing actions, etc. The thing I'm worried about is whether the story reads fluently, and whether my grammar is okay in it. English is my third language, so I struggle sometimes.

Thanks in advance!

Viona

 

[ticklechambers]

hey there,

I just posted something similar on this site, and haha, it seems that no one really replies to this request But i thought i'd drop you a line and let you know how i got my own feedback.

Message like ten editor profiles that you're looking for feedback. At least one or two will want to look at it for you. If you want to send it to me, i'm happy to read it too. But i've got a lot of work on my hands... so it might be a slow reply.

~ticklechambers

 

[josephanthony69]

Sexcellent scene!! luv the library as most people do not realize how hot it gets in the stacks!!

Keep up the good work!!

My first story got approved this morning, and I'm looking for some input.

http://www.literotica.com/s/viona-going-out-for-a-tan

I have been roleplaying for some months, so I'm okay with describing actions, etc. The thing I'm worried about is whether the story reads fluently, and whether my grammar is okay in it. English is my third language, so I struggle sometimes.

Thanks in advance!

Viona

 

[DarianBlack]

THIRD LANGUAGE?

The quality of your work... *shakes his head* I would never have known english wasn't your native tongue.

Excellent story - furries aren't exactly my favorite cup of tea (though I enjoy it on occasion) but the story itself was very well written. More please.

 

[frostyghost09]

Wow...I'm picky with my erotica, but I must say, your story grabbed and held my interest.
Teach me, please!