My first story, any thoughts

[uk_doc]

Hi

I've posted my first story. Both the first I have posted to Literotica and first story I have written. Would be very grateful for any thoughts.

Thank you

http://english.literotica.com/stori...y.php?id=196487


Andrew
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[msboy8]

Hi

I've posted my first story. Both the first I have posted to Literotica and first story I have written. Would be very grateful for any thoughts.

Thank you

http://english.literotica.com/stori...y.php?id=196487


Andrew
Edit/Delete Message

Hey doc, your link doesn't work. This will, Christmas Email from My Fiancee


Good Start, but the actual sex scenes whould be more involved. Keep writing.
Didn't understand (It was bit though and a bit of a shock to say the least!)