My first posted story

[jamesofthedead]

I apologise to those from AH who might be suffering from deja vous.

This is the first story I've posted but certainly not the first one I've written.

Hope you enjoy it.

My first story (S Club Jacuzzi)

Please give me feedback - negative or positive. I can take critisism (honest).

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Here’s the trouble with celebrity stories: to the person who reads it, if he doesn’t know who these people are, the story means nothing. To which the author replies, “Well if you don’t know who these people are, you probably shouldn’t be reading it in the first place.” Fair enough, but it’s something you should be aware of. A celeb story is always going to have a very limited audience..

But there’s another problem, and that’s that for the author who knows these people, the idea of having sex with them is just so erotic in itself that it makes him terribly lazy when it comes to bringing the story to life. It’s enough for him to write that he fucked Britney Spears and let it go at that, because the very thought seems terribly arousing to him. There’s no description, no detail, no emotion. He’s basically recounting a daydream to us, not seducing us with words and images and pulling us into the picture.

That’s basically what’s wrong with this one, in my opinion. I know who Britney Spears in. I don’t know the other girls, the ones in S Club, so I have no idea of what they look like or what their personalities are like, and, because you alredy know these celebs so well, you don’t feel the need to describe this kind of stuff, and yet that material is what’s at the heart of a good story.

In this story especially, everything depends on knowing who the characters are. The set-up is obviously absrud—the idea that these stars would pull a guy in off the street and start fucking him and sucking him—but that’s okay because it is, after all, a sexual fanatsy. But since there’s no real plot to speak of, that means the sex has to carry the story, and the way the sex is presented here, it just doesn’t do it for me.

---dr.M.

 

[jamesofthedead]

Thanks for the honesty. I'll try and be more descriptive in future.

Guess I never thought about that story in that way, come to think it's kind of a hollow story really isn't it?

I'll go through the second in the series and amend it accordingly.

And just so you understand why I wrote a story involving the S Club girls here's a link a pic of them.

S Club girls

(From left to right - Jo Rachel Hannah Tina)