My first posted story - Genie Chronicles - Feedback requested

[Joe Brolly]

Howdy!

The prologue and first three chapters of my first-ever posted story are up on Literotica, and I welcome all comments and constructive criticism. They can be found at the following:

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=204271
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=204274
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=204277
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=204279

Chapters 4 and 5 are uploaded and awaiting approval and posting by Lit.

JB

 

[Typo Fu Master]

Very enjoyable! I really liked the puzzle box twist on the magic lamp theme. You have also included little realistic details that make both characters feel more 'real'.

I don't know where you plan to go with this, but I would enjoy seeing some "adversity" develop. Perhaps another woman gets involved ... perhaps one of those "rare" Genies or Jinn become involved and complicates things ... perhaps Jack succumbs to his power over her and tries out darker and darker fantasies.

Overall, very well done so far. I look forward to reading more.

 

[Joe Brolly]

Very enjoyable! I really liked the puzzle box twist on the magic lamp theme. You have also included little realistic details that make both characters feel more 'real'.

I don't know where you plan to go with this, but I would enjoy seeing some "adversity" develop. Perhaps another woman gets involved ... perhaps one of those "rare" Genies or Jinn become involved and complicates things ... perhaps Jack succumbs to his power over her and tries out darker and darker fantasies.

Overall, very well done so far. I look forward to reading more.

Thanks for the feedback, Typo. I do have a few adverse plot twists planned, although probably not for awhile. Meanwhile, more chapters are on the way!

JB