My first post.......

[Goodguy2]

Touch is all
The feel of your skin
Touch is all
Deep within

We lay with each other
Naked in mind
I lean towards you
touch your behind

Smooth as cream
I feel your cover
I hope to be
Your only lover

Towards your back
I move my hand
All the while
Mesmerized by the land

At your neck
I gently caress
I lift your hair
I undo your dress

Naked now
I see your passion
I touch your breasts
in gentle fashion

Hardened with pleasure
Pebbles between my fingers
I move my hands
So as not to linger

Feather light touch
I descend to your thigh
Gently feeling
I hear your sigh

Wet with emotion
I touch you there
Back and forth
Screams fill the air

Drenched in pleasure
Completely relaxed
You in my arms
Both mentally taxed

 

[Guest]

 

[Goodguy2]

Thanks Emerald. This is the first time here on this site. Kinda scary.

Goodguy

 

[Guest]

 

[WickedEve]

Goodguy2, welcome to the poetry board. And you too, Emerald_eyed.

Goodguy, glad you posted your poem. If you look around the board, you'll find all sorts of helpful info to help you get your poem ready for submission.
You may want to start with something basic, like this thread: Ruby Red Clichés are my Burning Passion There's a great lesson on using fresh imagery posted by Judo on this thread.

My love is like a flame.

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Ouch! How can someone use so many words to say so little.

1) Ask yourself what the words mean to you.

Okay, my love...uh, my love is my passion, my lust, my desire for someone I've met.

2) What are other words that can be used to express that?

"My love" could be symbolized by "my erection, my stiff nipples, my wetness, my damp crotch, my quickened pulse" and on...

3) Any other trite ideas in the phrase?

Oh yeah, "is like a" is used too, too often, and "flame" has been used like a billion times.

So, use some other method of relating two ideas, personify the first or something.

And flame symbolizes the heat one feels when attracted by another. And it can be symbolized by some other hot item - cooking, electicity, friction, etc.

4) Put it all together and what do you get?

"My love is like a flame" becomes "My pulse quickens to catch your friction."

I hope you stick around and join in on our poetry challenges, and add to the discussions!